


Simplicity in smithereens

by vhis



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Angst, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, F/M, Future, Love, Past, Pining, Resurrection, Sailor Moon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-09
Updated: 2012-11-27
Packaged: 2017-11-18 07:36:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 67,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/558486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vhis/pseuds/vhis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You know what happens when you dream of falling?<br/>Sometimes you wake up.<br/>Sometimes the fall kills you.<br/>And sometimes, when you fall, you fly."<br/>Neil Gaiman</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Foolishly numb

"I'm leaving. In minutes, I'll be a star, burning myself to get back home….and far away from her…and her shine…So I watch her, carve every memory. Everything, just as it is. And I realize this is the reality I never wanted to believe. My princess, my two best friends and my home waiting for us…and all I can think of is that I want to kneel and put myself in her hands. For me…it does feel like an end. I'm a pathetic fighter if I can't even enjoy my win."

"Just don't look at me like that Odango. Let my eyes go. Baka Seiya. No, Fighter! This is who I am now and forever. You have no idea, Odango, do you? You completely, absolutely, totally ignorant, perfect, pure angel. Hm! I'm so stupid. I can't even blame you the way I feel I should."

"Mamoru-san, take good care of her. It's just some words, from some guy." _Take care of her …for me_ , he says and then changes into what he is, a female senshi, ready to go home.

"They are leaving. …HE IS leaving. In a couple of minutes…kamy sama…these shooting stars will burn. He already burns. Why do you burn this way Seiya?"

The two senshi groups stood on the roof top. Face to face, to force a good bye after a long battle. They could have waited a little longer. But the sky doesn't wait, and the newborn star seeds are home already. So…this is it. And the wind goes by, and in between there is nothing more than words. Seiya says his part, perfectly. Usagi says her lines…and then there is the end. Or is it?

" _Why do you say that Seiya? You look so sad. I don't want you to leave. You are all welcomed here. Stay…And all these memories, the way I confused you for HIM, the way you've always been there for me…We didn't had time to …upff! I wish I could have more time to say thank you. More time…But you have a home, and now everything will be ok. Ne Seiya?"_

The few words of goodbye went quick. They knew maybe these are the last. At least one heart there was breaking with noise. And he hated it. With one more look, Seiya was gone. And with the light that overtook him, he felt his heart break.

With the moon coming closer and closer, at their speed, he heard the words "Arigatou…Seiya!" in Usagi's voice. Those words…coming from her, made the choice for him.

Something changed in him and in the course of his destiny. That change, unknown to him yet, was either good or bad, but the consequence of it was a huge headache. And that definitely was the worst thing imaginable when you are about to travel to another galaxy. Sailor Star Fighter stopped dead in her flight.

"Figther, what' wrong! Fighter!"

They were near the Moon. She couldn't fly anymore. Panic overtook and she trembled like a newborn. Princess Kakyuu put a hand on her heart. She felt her star dieing.

"Fighter…"

"Princess, what's with him?" said a scared Healer. "Come on you baka, we're going home. Answer me, hey!"

In his mind, Seiya assessed the situation. "I'm so lost. My stomach is a mess. It's like I'm empty and … and I laugh. Ah! This hurts!

It took just a second for the star to fall unconscious into his friends' arms.

###

_I follow her throw town. It's night. The streets are full and it smells like winter. I hate these clothes. I was never cold before. As a senshi, I was trained not to. But now I kind of want to call her so she would stop, because this game isn't so funny anymore. I don't know why I follow her and it is even stranger that my heart skips a beat every other second. I miss her face. She can hear my thoughts? She's turning around like a child, with her hands behind her back. She pirouettes on her tiptoes. And my heart stops, because it's her and this whole script comes into my mind like I've played it already._

" _Did you follow me here?" she asks with a shimmer in her eyes._

" _Who…me? Not a chance. You're not THAT important."_

" _Oh…so I'm not important. Just know you're not such a hot shot. Just an ordinary stalker."_

" _I'm hurt."_

" _You better be, you baka." I can feel the laughter before she ends the sentence. And I feel warm all of a sudden._

" _But still, stalker or no stalker…am I good enough…Odango-atama?"_

"… _Seiya…"_

_I was scared of the answer as I put the question, but the way she stopped her laughter and came close to me never losing contact with my eyes gave me hope. And that little shade of pink in her cheeks was so endearing._

" _So, am I good enough?"_

" _Yes, you always were."_

_I begin to think this is a cruel dream, because that was not the answer I knew._

_She mingles herself with my clothes and not even the cold snow flakes on my face can remind me it's winter. I take her small hand; look around to see if our little spectacle had an audience and I'm happy it didn't._

_I set a small pace, so she can keep up and we make our way home. Home?_

_I smile and by the look in her eyes she's intrigued. I keep quiet and look in the window of a shop across the street. I see two lovers slowly making their way home. She's a beautiful smiling blonde, radiating like an angel. Taller by a head or so, the lucky guy could be a pop star. Piercing blue eyes and a long dark ponytail. I give my cocky superior smile that says "I'm not impressed" and he gives it back to me. That's strange._

_The lovely girl stops and faces him to fix his neck handkerchief. And I almost bump into the girl next to me. She's fixing my neck handkerchief too. I look over to the shop window and it hits me. That lucky guy it's me."_

###

Fighter wakes up confused, but the headache is gone.

" _They look so scared around me. Gomene, Princess…but I can't come home. She is here. And I have another fight to win. And this one will make me feel like a winner,"_ Seiya thinks and then laughs like a mad man. Then, little by little, he stops and puts a hand through his hair. His eyes become sad; sad like understanding you are never to be complete.

"I can't go home with you," he says, defeated, because it's not his choice. The choice has been made the moment he saw her, and has been sealed the moment he offered himself as hers, even if not good enough for now.

"What! Are you insane? Snap out of it, you stupid clown." Princess Kakyuu put a delicate touch on Maker shoulder to stop his shouting.

"I understand…Seiya! You will never return to us in this lifetime if you stay."

"Princess…" the two starlights screamed, unable to believe what was happening.

"You will never hear from us, or have the help of your senshi form. You are Seiya, a man by choice from now on. There are other rules to be considered, but I must return to our planet and seek the ancient books. I shall come to you in a dream to have our final word. Live well my dear Fighter."

Seiya smiles gently. It is his choice, and the words of his princess are painful, but not surprising. He knew this would happen. He looks at his two friends and tears come to his eyes.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't be with you to look at our long awaited home. Maker…Healer…we share forever the same blood."

"Fighter…NO, NO…is this for her? You leave us for her? Se never knew you existed as a man. Never had she loved you more than us. She loves the whole world, the whole universe…BUT NOT YOU. Do you see ME making a scene because of this? Just come home Fighter!" Maker was shaking his head, unable to believe what her friend was going to do.

Fighter had his eyes fixed on Earth, like bewitched. He heard Maker and felt the rage in Healer. But he couldn't choose now, could he? He was a man, in love not with the world or the universe, but just in love with HER. It was as sailor Uranus said it would be. For Seiya, the universe or peace wasn't important. It was just the thought of having her safe that made him go on.

A pain runs through his heart when Maker said the obvious. Usagi didn't love him, not any more than she loved the world. But love isn't like that, is it? He loved her…and that was enough to stop him from leaving. And the dream he just had…

"I feel hate Maker, Healer…Princess. I hate myself for what I am to do. But..."

"You know how much you will suffer…"

"Yes Princess…"

"I am sorry…Go, live forever as a man."

And with that, Kakyuu left, in light, to her planet, her tears tracing a rainbow behind her.

"Fighter…you really…you truly are doing this?"

"Mhm.", Seiya said with his hand behind his head, like a child embarrassed to be caught doing something that he was not allowed.

"Don't act like that you stupid …."

"Stupid man Yaten…I'm just a stupid man."

With tears in his eyes, Yaten left as a burning star.

"He will hate me even more now…"

"No Fighter, he loves you. We all love you. But I understand…sort of."

The two smiled and hugged.

"Take care. And…we will see each other again somehow…"

Saying that, Maker left in the same burning light, leaving a broken man behind.

"No Maker, we will not..."


	2. Collided prelude

"Hey, what are you up to?"

"He he. Nothing much…" said the blonde with a grin up to her ears.

"Liar."

"Rei chan, don't be mean. I saved your life, so I guess you owe me respect. And to your information, I'm making a love-love card for Mamo-chan. Since he didn't receive any of my letters…"

Rei showed her respect by making a face and tossing a shirt at Usagi.

The girls laughed now, happy to enjoy every little joke…or confrontation. But after the smiles and talks, everybody just stared a second at the sky. They can't believe that just yesterday night the biggest battle had ended. And their allies, their friends…have left, leaving just the promise that someday they will return.

"Mina, do you think they are home now?" Usagi asked the girls, more to disturb the silence than to receive an answer.

"Stars do travel fast you know…"

"Mhm…"

In Usagi's mind, the image of one star grew bigger and bigger. She still doesn't understand why they didn't let her speak to them more, or saying more than just good bye. "More…like what Usagi?" she asked herself, but did not answer.

The memory of that rainy day when she sneaked to see Seiya before the final concert jumped into her mind. And the way the outers never let her out of their sight, and the way he looked at her, the way he said that he fell in love, the way he whispered that he will take her away, the way he kissed her cheek…It all made Usagi tremble. The flow of memories went on right to the moment her heart had a doubt for the first time in ages.

The moment Seiya kissed her cheek. He never intended to do otherwise, but she turned her face anyway. Like it would have made things easier. NOT! The same tear that fell back them threatened to fall again.

"Usagi…Usagi what happened?"

In her mind, Usagi put 2 and 2 together. _"I should have said something. Stupid Usagi. He told you he loved you…and I … I just said nothing to him. He left with nothing from me, not even a proper goodbye. What have I done?"_

The girls stood around Usagi. So close she couldn't stand it anymore. So she ran. Down the stairs of the temple, onto the busy streets…

Wandering the familiar streets, hands down his pockets, Seiya felt the downside of being a human. It was windy and the t-short he had on did no difference.

"Now what Seiya. I'm starting to believe I'm crazy. What have I done?"

He wonders the streets since last night. After his friends left, he had the strength to come down to Earth and into the old park. But after his transformation faded, he felt dizzy and weak. He tried to transform again, but that only took more of his energy and for nothing.

Home…he doesn't have one yet. House, he thought that will be the place they stayed at as a band. But he didn't want to return there just yet. So, he took it slow, step by step, trying to figure out, at 5 pm, the day after the Apocalypse, what it is to be a man on Earth. And it seems a man on Earth is warm and very thirsty. And not the mention with a growing headache.

Two blocks away, if he had looked, was someone able to take his pain away.

Usagi slowed her pace and was deep in thought, understanding deeper what she knew before, but never had the time to accept. Seiya tried to tell and even confessed his love. Not as a friend or a protector, but the same love as her Mamo-chan. Intense even in battle. And she acted almost like she didn't understand. But she did, didn't she?

And then, in the peaceful streets of 5 pm, she saw a light, well too familiar Starlight.

"Nani?…Seiya?…"

The moment she said his name, he felt even warmer. He couldn't see her, but the light of her aura was too familiar by now.

"Oh not this again. I feel like my head is getting bigger and ready to explode."

###

_I'm in a train. And it's going so fast I can't even feel it. Looking out the window makes me dizzy. So I try to sit down, convinced my station isn't close. I'm trying to concentrate on the reflection in the window and ignore the landscape outside. It feels good. I recognize myself in these features but I feel kind of misplaced._

_I look at the reflection of other faces. They all seem lifeless. And then, I contradict myself. One reflection warms even the window. I try to make sense of the lines that make out her face. I can tell she's beautiful, even with that strange hairdo. My hand goes without me and caresses the blurry face on the window. I know her. It's been a long time but I couldn't forget her. For a moment I think I must be imagining things. I'm ready to give up and take my hand down. But just then, her reflection looks at me and I can swear her eyes are sky blue. The same eyes._

" _Ano…excuse me. Are you feeling ok?"_

_I don't want to turn and look at her because she's too real and I missed that so much. I let myself hope that this is truly her._

" _I suppose I'm better than a second ago."_

" _That's good. I'm glad."_

_She smiles that smile of hers and my heart jumpstarts like every time. I'm still not looking at her but I reach my hand and touch hers._

" _What are you doin…"_

_She feels it too. I'm sure she's her now because she doesn't take her hand away. Instead, she flinches and intertwines her fingers with mine. I look at her and she blushes._

" _You look pale. - I lie to her- Take a seat Odango."_

" _Don't call me…"_

" _Never mind. Sit before you collapse into my arms. I know I'm cool, but I don't intend to make victims."_

" _You are so…"_

" _I know that one too. You'll get used to me."_

_She tries to take her hand away but I look straight into her eyes. Anger is replaced by confusion and then by something close to recognition. It's a good start. All I need to do from now on is to keep her close._

" _You look so familiar. Even that silly nickname. It must be fate or a strange deja-vu."_

" _Oh trust me it's not fate."_

" _Really? If I think about it for a minute, you don't look like someone who believes in fate. You can let my hand go now; I'm not going to faint."_

" _Tell me Odango, do you have a boyfriend?"_

" _That's a rude question to ask someone you don't even know. It's none of you're business, after you insult me with that nickname, to ask something like that. If I had a boyfriend, I would tell him about you and you'll be sorry."_

_She crosses her arms and makes that sweet pose I love so much._

" _So you don't have one. Fine Odango I'll stop talking. Now sit down. My handsome head will hurt if I'll have to look at you from down here and it's going to be a long ride."_

_She's not angry anymore instead she laughs a little. But only I know what my words really mean. I look out the window again. I can see her steeling a glance at me. And I'm happy and rested. I have one more shot at this, because this time I got to her first._

###

Seiya rubs his eyes confused after the "hallucination". But there's no time to think about it because the image of his dreams comes really close, really fast.


	3. Vaunting virago

She saw him. Not just a shadow or a dream or a wish. He was there, looking at her with his trembling blue eyes.

"Odango…" He could barely stand up straight. But he knew this is real and she was there, the woman he chose not to leave. She found him, found her way back to him.

Let them all say destiny this, destiny that, but nobody can say that she is not in front of him now when he needs her. "Odango…" was all he could articulate, like a wish and then collapsed with the same excruciating headache.

###

_I know this song for ages now. It sounds like something I'll write for her someday. It makes me remember nights with her, hot coco and her cold feet in my hands. Incredible things. If there could be a place to fall in love with, this would be it – feels like the centre of my universe. It makes me smile._

_I'm eager to hear her voice and take her into my arms. I feel like I missed her. I'm looking for the picture of us I know I put here. It's missing. Maybe she changed its place. I love that picture. She's just beautiful with that adult expression of her and the tinny wrinkle next to her mouth when she's smiling. I realize I look younger than her but I don't care._

_I try to do some math in my head and I fear the result. The music is soothing and I expect her to come out from wherever she is every second now. I see the Moon throughout the window and the muscles in my face freeze in this stupid smile._

_The result of my math is unbearable._

" _Odango!" I try to call out to her. I'm still in the middle of the hallway. OUR hallway. I don't feel. I'll have to move to know I'm still alive. Move!_

_Gravity does wonders. I'm on the floor in no time fixating a point two feats away; the place where I'm sure she kept her shoes. Can't take my eyes away from that spot redoing the math and it's impeccable._

_I have the sickening feeling I've felt this before. This hole in my chest and the certainty she'll never leave her shoes here next to mine anymore._

_I'm mourning for someone that doesn't appear to have been here at all. Except that if she wasn't here, then why do I feel like home and why do I have memories with her in every corner?_

###

In the mere seconds between his collapse and the moment she was next to him, Seiya saw a life running through his mind. But was that HIS life?

"Seiya!"

She ran to him and cached his head before it hit the ground. He was warm…so disturbingly warm. She felt goose bumps. " _Why are you here? What is happening to you?"_

Usagi stopped a cab and prayed that the address she gave was the good one. The driver helped her take the star back to the old studio.

"Arigatou."

"Can you handle carrying him from here? Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?"

"No…we're fine. Thank you again."

Once upstairs, she could barely walk him to the bed and went to prepare ice for his forehead. By now, he was covered in sweat.

Usagi never thought twice about the hour or her refuse to take him to the hospital. She just undressed him like a robot, covered him in multiple layers of blankets and kept replacing the ice on his forehead. Not even one thought crossed her mind beside "wake up".

Four hours later, he tried to open his eyes. She started breathing hard and expecting miracles.

Five hours later, he said her nickname again. She nearly shook the life out of him with questions.

Six hours later, he took her hand. She was scared as hell.

Seven hours later, he was watching her sleep. She was dreaming that he never woke up and he feared this may not be the real thing. The hallucinations he has every time he passes out are strange and more than real.

Even awake and he can't make the difference. The only thing that tells him this is reality is his hand on hers, because in his "dreams" he feels like a spectator, even in his own body. It's like rediscovering a world that his mind already knows but his body doesn't remember.

"Odango…you're here. It's night already… I can't believe you're still here… I don't even know what's real anymore. These hallucinations confuse me. I don't know if it's because of this sickness or it's the other way around. But you're in them and that makes them bearable. Only that I feel so much more now. Like I've had you near for years and you wanted me and you were mine. Ahhh! Stupid head. If I say something this stupid to you I'll ruin everything. I'm just imagining and that's it. That is it!"

He stood there feeling like he was about to burn out. But his eyes were fully opened and admiring her. All the memories replayed in his head. Her beautiful smile in every one of them. Well…not always her smile. Her tears also…the heart breaking tears and screams from the last couple of days…the heart breaking image of her and Mamoru.

All the images caused him physical pain. She woke up, big trembling eyes, her hand at her heart.

"Seiya…"

What can be said after the end? After the last conversation between just the two of them was a confession? Now they were alone. Nobody there to listen, but the words were missing.

His hand started to tremble like possessed. Her hand hurt in his grip but she said nothing. She just couldn't take her eyes away from his. All that glimmer, like he was seeing the world for the first time.

He didn't let go of her hand. His eyes, once opened, were begging "Don't let go".

She heard his soar voice and shivered.

"Don't let go of me" he said again, tender, like he was saying "Am I not good enough?" all over again.

Tears came to her eyes. She softened…made a step…then another…and in three moves, she was of her chair and in bed, cradling him.

"I'm not…I'm not letting go"

Crying, she hugged the life out of him. Encircling her body like a fetus, he pinned her to the bed. She released the air in her lungs, scared, but then relaxed in his arms.

And so they stayed, without thinking, just feeling all the worlds' confusion.

In the middle of the night, with her communicator closed, Usagi was in bed with a man. Another man…the first man she have ever been with over the night. And minutes passed like heartbeats.

"Odango…you awake?" he said in a whisper, as if every sound above it will send her away.

"Mhm…"she replied, with no intention of lifting her head from his chest.

That little sweet sound of confirmation made his skin burn even hotter. His head was spinning so badly that he needed to pin his palm to the bed to know which way is down.

All his "dreams" made it harder for him to ignore the response of his body to her presence. "What the hell am I doing? She's not here because we're together; she's here because she must have carried me here after I collapsed. And my hallucinations are just that: hallucinations. Being just human sucks. I can't let her see me like this."

"You should go home Odango…"

"You too", she said, hoping he will explain the reason he's still here, although…she had a truly selfish idea of what that reason may be.

Silence. He smiled sweetly and began to understand where the discussion was heading.

"You already know why I'm here, don't you?" Seiya said after a few moments, slightly pulling her closer.

Only then Usagi lifted her head and looked him in the eyes. The distance between them was so insignificant that one’s eyelashes could have tickled the other ones face.

"You are not here because of me Seiya"…she said, wishing, hoping, and truly lying herself. "Don't say you're still here because of me?"

"I'm here for anything you want me to be"…he said sweetly, looking away, thinking about the scenes in his hallucinations. He almost hoped some were real predictions of a future with her.

Usagi changed the look in her eyes from sad to angry and quickly jumped out of bed. Facing the wall, she started to tense her muscles and tremble visibly.

"Odango…" He realized he needed to leave the dilemma of his hallucinations and concentrate on the now. This situation was strange and much more different than anything they were used too.

"I don't want you here for me. I mean, I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I understand everything now, and I wish you didn't feel this way about me…and…"

"Oh! We continue the discussion from there? I thought we went through this already. You know…before the last concert…I told you not to blame yourself."

"Yea…The missing part is me saying something back…"

"You shouldn't…"

"Yes, I should…I should say that I'm sorry if I ever did anything to make you feel this way, and for being blind, and for crying instead of telling you good bye."

This was serious. That moment before the last concert needed him to concentrate with all his might. He was determined to confess his love and accept that she will never return his feelings. And he did it. It was hard as hell, but he did. And he didn't really expected her to do anything more.

The battle with Galaxia that followed was terrible, but was a distraction. Only that, in the middle of it, he found himself wishing her safe more than anyone else. He fought for her. But after that, seeing her in the arms of her love, he believed it to be over. No chance for either to say anything more. Awkward as it was, that goodbye on the roof was the only possible end he could see.

When he decided to stay, after hearing her "Arigatou" he had a picture of the reunion like a fresh start with "Hey" and "I just like this place to much, I'll stay a little bit longer".

He was sure she will be the same old Usagi, clueless and happy. But this discussion and all this images in his head…he wasn't ready for this.

"I'm just afraid you'll say something that will kill me" he admitted. Maybe she'll say "Go away". That is his greatest fear.

Usagi's hair wiped from the speed her head turned to him.

"Kill you…Nothing that I say now is easy for me," she shouted. "You can leave, you'll have a new world, you can forget about…this, in time, and because you did all that your heart asked you to do. But what about me? What of all the things I feel guilty for? I was too weak to do anything about you. Rei was right. I needed you too much to say I don't need you for your own good. I didn't say anything. Anything at all. You deserved an answer. All you sacrificed…You think it was easy to just stand there and watch you leave? And I don't even understand why that was so hard, because you were supposed to be free and happy from that moment on. And forget about me."

"Never!" Seiya jumped from the bed, enraged. Weak like a leaf, he started walking toward her, almost screaming the words out.

"It wasn't easy to watch, Odango? You thought I'll forget about you? You were the savior of the universe; you had your friends there back with you and your home. And let's not forget you had him. So yea…it must have been easy compared to…LEAVING…YOU." Seiya spit the last word as he hit the wall behind Usagi with his fist. He then just stayed there, feeling the cold wall and the cracks that he made, without opening his eyes.

She shrugged as she felt his fist colliding with the wall an inch from her face. He looked at her and realized she was scared. The pain in his eyes just grew a thousand times. With his other hand he took the warmth of her face and got closer to her, until between them was no room for fears or rage.

"I could have died then…leaving you…and that is how easy it was…for me Odango. Because I heard you and I realized I love your light more than anything."

"I'm sorry…Sei…" Before she could apologize again, his lips closed over hers, transferring slow passion and fears.

In his heart this felt nothing like the perfect kiss he imagined. And that scared him beyond response. He froze there, his eyes closed, hopping that maybe he's just delusional and he didn't just do a thing this stupid.


	4. Postponed myriad of words

Before Usagi could decide what to do or feel, the burning man with the burning lips collapsed.

"Seiya! Oh no…"

She dragged him back to bed, put the covers on him and stood there, watching him, trying to force herself to go and get help. But she couldn't leave him this way. He was her friend…her friend with burning lips and sweet taste…She slapped herself for thinking that. But then she took the seat near the bed and just stayed there, hoping he will soon wake up.

In her mind the trial began. She hit play on the MP3 on the desk and hugged her knees. The sweet music was supposed to calm her. It did before. In her moments of missing Mamoru more than breathing, Seiya's music made it bearable.

With all the things he did for her, her safety and her happiness, it made sense for Seiya to love her THAT way. It would have made sense for her to fall in love with him. And the Outers protective behavior made sense too. Because maybe if what she felt back then, that Mamoru was gone for good, would have been true, she could have…

"I could have changed the future. And I can't change the future because I'm in love with Mamo-chan and I love Chibiusa. And now my future makes sense with Mamo-chan, because my love brought him back. And Seiya? What brought him back?"

Her mind was spinning from all the questions, but she was honest with herself, maybe for the first time. Her introspection was brave and pure. And deep down, covered by images of fighting and feelings of loss, between the memories of his time here on Earth, she found a light she never saw before. Warm and peaceful, it made her feel safe. Almost like Mamoru's arms.

"Mamoru's warmth but a different scent…I felt this the day with the date when he protected me. I trusted him when he said nothing bad can happen to me. I felt it and I didn't even know he was a sailor senshi. He does that."

Following the trail of her feelings, Usagi relaxed in the chair. The music made it easy for her to do so. There was no fresh air left in the room. Instead, the symmetry now perfect between the human scent and the masculine perfume Seiya used.

###

_I can barely concentrate on her voice. She's smiling and keeps looking behind me for some reason. And then her words make sense._

" _I know you said he's a good guy but he's just …strange. He looks at you like…he didn't see you in ages. Or like a stalker."_

_I frown a little and instinctively try to turn and see who the "stalker" is. She stops me a little violently and I don't know what's scarier – the fact that she believes I'm stalked by someone or that she has the strength to hurt me with a notch._

" _Don't look now. He'll know I'm talking about him. Why couldn't you come to my house and why does he have to be with you every second."_

_I'm even more confused but my lips arch in a smile that warms me from inside. And I can hear the words come out. "That's because I'm…with him Rei. And he wants to protect me." And I know that behind me is not a stalker, but the man I love._

" _Protect you from what? Me?"_

" _You can be kind of mean sometimes," I tease._

" _Don't say that Usagi. We're friends right?"_

_I'm convinced we are. I feel like I know her for a long time now. "Yes, we're friends."_

" _It's not very friends-like to hide a guy from your friend. We know each other for 2 years now. And I never saw you this happy. I found out first about the college, about your parents but not about him. Six months and I only get to meet him now."_

" _Gomene Rei. I just…"_

" _I'm sure he's to blame. He looks like he doesn't really like me. Or he just doesn't like people. Except you of course, he can't take his eyes of you."_

_It makes me smile the way she's wrong about him. I feel him and there's no hate in him. Only love. For me. And maybe a little sadness I can't figure out why but I'm determined to erase it._

_It's true he avoided this meeting. But that's just him, more to himself. I try to turn around and look at the table where I left him to look into his blue eyes and reassure him everything is alright. Rei stops me again, gentler this time._

" _Usagi-chan! I can see that he loves you very much. I can feel it in his aura. But the fire is relentless when I ask about him. I can't see beyond him. I'm worried about you."_

" _Please don't. You'll come to know him and you'll see he's great. He's sweet and gentle and strong. And he is wise for his age. I didn't meet anyone like him before. Rei I… I love him too." I feel the blood rushing to my cheeks after the confession and I know every word is true. I want her to know and be happy for me. She stares at me with that old look she uses every time she "talks" to the fire._

" _I'm not sure it's right…Don't do anything reckless."_

" _I AM sure about him, about us…Please, be happy for me. Meet him and you'll see. He's not trying to take me away from you."_

" _Fine. He looks harmless enough, except for that look of his. He looks at me like I'm going to drag you outside and away from him. It's disturbing; because it gives the feeling he would do anything to stop that from happening. But then…yea, that look changes completely when he concentrates on you. Look. Even the blue in his eyes is different. And about that - can I just say that your depiction of him is an understatement? I gotta say he looks like a movie star."_

_I envy her for being able to look at him. I miss him already._

_Some of the things she said are true. He does look incredible. I'm in a constant danger of running out of air when I look into his eyes. It's like he bottled up in them the love from all these different lives and now I get to have it all._

_He can make me laugh in a way no one ever did and annoy me pretty much the same. But no matter how upset or tired or lost I sometimes feel, I can find myself in his arms. I know Rei would think I'm crazy, but I feel I could save the world if necessary, only with him by my side. She must have been angry at me for keeping him away until now but he's not the only one to blame for it. I need to be with him the way we were. Selfish maybe, but if I can be selfish once in my life, I'll be about him._

" _Tell me something juicy. Come on, I've waited for a girl talk for so long."_

" _Rei-chan…" My face is red again. I'm glad he can't see me. Though he knows this face very well. I can't help but blush when he sometimes stops in the middle of the street, grabs me by my shoulders and looks at me THAT way - like I'm the only one there. Which I'm not. And I can hear people whisper. He never cares. He puts on that cocky grin and defies them. And I snuggle under his arm and I don't care either._

" _Come on Usagi. You owe me."_

" _He's right there. And there are people around."_

" _You didn't seem to care about that when you walked in. The way he held you and kissed your forehead like you went to cosmos for 10 years…boy, that was unnecessary drama."_

_Right. I remember that. Only that it wasn't an act. He does that. Kisses my forehead or my hand or my cheek and whispers things like "Come back to me soon". It makes my skin burn._

" _He's like that Rei. I guess he likes being with me."_

" _I guess so because he's coming here and he has THAT look in his eyes. We'll talk about it later. You're not off the hook."_

_I can feel the heat of his body closer the way two magnets feel each other. Only that with us it works the other way and we attract. I can smell his sweet scent and I feel proud to have him here and introduce him to my best friend._

_Rei gets up and smiles a formal smile, holds out her hand and prepares to be as sweet as I asked her to be. She can do it, when she wants._

_A second before meeting her hand, he touches the back of my neck and stops his palm on my right shoulder. The touch sends shivers through my spine and a smile on my face. I meet the warmth of his hand with my cheek. Rei must have felt it to because she flinches the moment his hand connects with hers._

_She has a weird look on her face and a scary glimmer in her eyes. I look at their hands and concentrate on his ring for some reason. This silver ring that I don't…remember._

" _I'm Rei. Nice to meet you. Usagi told me …some things about you."_

_I snap out and look up at Rei to send her a mean look. She meets my look with a frightened, sad one. I don't understand it. And then I can hear him._

" _Hello. Nice to meet you too. I'm Kou Seiya."_

###

Usagi collapsed onto the ground from the chair where she fell asleep.

She woke up in an instant and she can still feel the whipping of the year ring on her cheek as she turned to look at the man in her dream. She touches her cheek. And she can't forget the last image before she would wake up. Seiya, towering her, looking away. Tears heap up in her eyes.

"It was supposed to be…Mamo-chan. I thought it was…Mamo-chan, my love."

She can't hold them anymore. She considers the thought of running. She looks for the door. The pounding of her heart drives her insane.

"I…it was not supposed to be..." she looks toward the bed and sees the relentless man. "Seiya…" She can't get her head around what happened. Trembling, she decides she can't just run. Not because of a dream.

She walkes over to the window to think about the strangest and impossible dream in her life. It wasn't that she imagined only that scene. It was like she KNEW that scene even if it never happened. And not only that, but as she stood there next to Rei she could actually relive things that never happened. Like him kissing her.

She felt herself happy in this dream. But the man that made her happy and all the things she told Rei were not describing Mamoru, the way her mind filled the gaps all the time with him. It was Seiya and that choice wasn't in any future that she might expect. Or any thought of hers.

Still, it made her heart beat faster, her head throb, and her eyes to watch him with a newfound maturity. Even if her "dream" was only a dream, that still meant she thought about it sometime along the way.

"No. I never thought of him like that. I…"

She looked at him. He was breathing evenly now. The thought of him safe made her happy. But that was because she cared about him.

"This dream…you don't have this kind of dreams when you are destined for one love," she thought. "But I can't possibly love Seiya that way too can I?" she touched the cold skin on her cheek and found herself missing his hand there. That scared her.

She let a deep breath out and stared out the window with a resigned look. Inside this four walls, with every connection to the world severed, she can look at him and say that maybe he could have been THAT for her, but only if he had meet her sooner - couple of millennia sooner. She brushed the thought of. She won't do that to Seiya.

This is what he said before the final concert. He told her he wished they meet sooner. Maybe this dream was her way of giving him that. Maybe he dreamt it too, because he looked peaceful and radiant.

This new powerful woman was confronting her very deepest thoughts with sincerity and courage. She was realistic and fair. Things did happen to lead to this. Every time she had a new enemy she learned something. And every time she lost someone she suffered and tried her best to get them back.

It's only natural she can decide now for herself. And it's only natural she would decide not the hurt the people she loves. Or not hurt them more, in Seiya's case. So she buried the dream back into her mind and decided to wait until after this crisis to figure it out, if it was more to figure out. Now she will have to look at him the same way. She knew that was going to be hard, but he needed to get better. They will sort everything out after that. After.

In two hours, she changed the ice on his forehead with a steady hand. He was silent. In the morning, she looked sicker than him, after a night of growing up. He was smiling.

"You stayed." He said watching her fiddling in the chair. Actually, she was just trying not to hear his voice and compare it to the voice in her dream.

"Well of course baka, I can't let you die…even if you deserve it." She finished the sentence, not believing what she said.

"Oh…that is cold Odango!" He faked a frown.

"What's wrong with you? Your fever is still high. I'm gonna call a doctor…"

"NO! Um…sorry…just stay here with me."

"I can't stay forever and…"

"I know you can't…" he replied more to himself.

"And…I'm not a very good nurse."

"I'll give you that", he smiled.

"Shut up, it it's not the time to play smart ass. I'm really worried Seiya…"

He looked at her. He could see her distress and that made his heart grow. "I know you only care because you don't like to see people hurting…but I'll settle with your care for me…for now…" he thought.

"I'm still thinking of calling a doctor."

"No…it's too soon. I'm still very popular and I don't need the publicity. But…to make you happy, I'll make you a deal. Stay with me until tonight. If I don't feel any better, call a doctor, and you're free."

"Don't put it like that…Just that…I sort of disappeared. Nobody knows where I am. And we were supposed to meet. It's the first peaceful day in…"

"I'm sorry. You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. Go. And don't worry about me…"

"It's too late for that, don't you understand?" Usagi said and realized she said it a little too loud. "I'm sorry. Just that I need to see you get better."

He just smiled. He had her there and because of her beautiful heart, she will not leave until he has fine. Not bad, this sickness, whatever it was.

"So…do you want anything to eat?" I hope food can make you better.

"No…not hungry", he said with a goofy smile.

"Are you feeling better? Cause you're still hot."

"Well thank you Odango, it was about time you notice."

"Baka!" Usagi slapped his arm playfully, so she doesn't hurt him.

"No, not much better. I have this huge head ache and my whole body hurts…But other than that…just great."

"Then stop smiling. If you smile like that all the time, how will I know you're getting better?"

"I'll tell you."

"I doubt it."

"Oh, so you're onto my plan to keep you here forever…"

Usagi jumped a little at his words and saddened. He could see something different in her body language, but he passed that as embarrassment.

"Hey, I'm only joking Odango. I'm thankful you stayed. I'll be up and running in no time."

"Mm…I hope so."

They stayed a little quiet until a growl from Usagi stomach broke the silence.

"When did you last eat Odango?"

"Mmm…yesterday…at the temple. Makoto made the most wonderful lunch to celebrate peace…" Usagi remembered and then started to think about the girls. _"They must be worried sick by now. And Mamo-chan…I haven't seen him since …I wonder if they're searching for me…Maybe…"_

"Hey Odango, check out the paper on the living room table. I must have some numbers from the restaurants nearby. Order anything. My treat."

"Order…Mmm…I can do that." Usagi disappeared of the door and into the living room. That made Seiya feel strange. He was used to her near him now.

"And that is completely stupid."

30 minutes later, Usagi was eating…and eating and eating…and trying not to face Seiya.

"Watching you makes me hungry."

"That's a good sign…but there's not enough food for both of us," she joked.

"Don't get defensive; I wouldn't come between you and your food …"

"Oh don't start, you sound like Rei."

_"I could watch you forever…Munching you food next to me. Odango…"_

_"I better call the girls after this. But what do I tell them? I can't drop the Seiya bomb…can I?"_

"Thinking affects your eating, so stop."

"Mmm." Usagi mumbled, with a dumpling in her mouth.

"I know you think I'm always right." Seiya played with her a little, until she became serious.

"Seiya…"

"Yes?"

"What would you do now?" Usagi asked holding her last donut.

"I would take you away with me. For real this time." He let down his every defense and just said the words. He realized it after they were said. But the words didn't really get through to Usagi. Maybe for the best. She had agonizing things on her mind.

This dilemma she couldn't understand. Because it was suppose to be easy. Just call and ask the help of the others. And she couldn't do it. Now, despite her character, she was considering lying.

"No…I mean what would you tell the others if you were me?" she cut him off without looking up.

" _I'm sorry Odango, I never thought about that…"_ Seiya slapped himself in his mind for thinking too much about his problems.

Her question remained unanswered. It lingered in the room until the possible answers made Seiya sick. He dropped right back into the bed, trembling furiously.

"Ahhh!" his scream scared her. He was holding his head and sweating. The veins on his forehead and neck were pumping blood into a sick head.

###

_Hurt. Run! Go! The pain is splitting my head. Little beats of sweat come down. My eyes feel like burning marbles. Go there now! I'm pounding my head in the steering wheel. I NEED to go somewhere so bad it hurts me. And it's driving me crazy that I have no idea where._

_Another something stabs my brain. Hurt. And my foot just pushes into the acceleration. Fast! Faster! I see a street corner, and I think I have to take a right. No! Left! I'm sure. I almost hit another car. I can't die but the rest of the world can. Faster. I feel that I'm late._

_My heart beats so fast I almost remember …her. A look in the mirror. It's me alright. I still recognize myself. Not even a day older. A blonde on the sidewalk. A peek and I know it's not her. It's been so long. Instinctively I feel it's not her._

_My hands hurt. I'm squeezing the wheel. Faster! I'm late. I'm desperately looking for the next corner. The brake sound wakes me. There! It's right there!_

_I'm not sure if I stopped the car before jumping out, but here I am, keeping her protectively behind me._

" _Get out of here. Now!" I'm not screaming but it seems like it._

_I can feel her fright. I'm more concerned about the group of vandals in front of me. I know it's her and I know I'm not late and I know I'm not going to see her again for a long time._

_The happy party of three isn't so happy. I'm the next target now that she's gone. We fight. I'm ready for this. I take the time to look and make sure she's running to safety. She is._

_Time stops when she looks back. I can see her caring. She didn't change a bit. If I could, I would tell her that. But I have to keep these guys busy. "Run! Run Odango!"_

_They hit like girls. My knuckles hurt. My brain is relaxed._

_I'm happy. I was here on time. I could save her. And I can concentrate away from the smell of blood and sweat enough to feel a faint trace of her. She smells the same. Like …only she does. Smiling hurts._

" _Odango…"_


	5. Profoundly defiant numbness

Sometime after, he woke up and the first thing he could think about was to check if she's safe. She was, of course. He could hear her even breathing and feel her hand on his. The hallucinations make him forget reality. Staring at the ceiling, with her scent in his nostrils that assured him she's near, he made a quick recap of the events so far.

"I choose to stay, I'm no longer a senshi, I'm sick and I have these weird hallucinations. I ran into Odango, she must have brought me to my old studio, she stayed. I told her I love her…again, I kissed her, I scared her and she's still here after …two days. It's been two days. Kamy-sama, for the others it must seem like she's been kidnapped or something. I can't believe I did this to her."

"Odango…" He called to her and jumped out of bed ready to apologies and let her call a doctor so that she can go home. He will help her with the explanation for the others. All it matters is that her staying here won't make things worse for either of them. She was by the window, looking away. She heard him and rushed to stop him.

"Seiya. You shouldn't get up. Look what you did, stupid…" Usagi scolded him like a mother. Then she pushed him under the blankets again.

"I'm sorry about this…" he said, catching the hand she used to tuck him in and kissed it.

In a heartbeat she blushed; he couldn't breathe right in front of her beauty and forgot everything he was about to say.

Two heartbeats later, she was facing the window again, her small fists trembling and he was screaming inside. He ignored her warnings and followed her. In pain, body and mind, he says sorry, kissed the back of her head and put his arms around her. Without moving and with a meekly voice, she said the only normal thing that came to mind.

"I told you not to get out of bed. You really don't want to feel better. And you leave me no choice. I can't stay here with you forever Seiya." And in her mind Usagi continued that sentence with " _Even if I do love you, it's only more painful for you to know that it's not enough."_

Feeling her move uneasy, her back to him, he just whispered, in a tired voice.

"I stayed on Earth because I need you more than a trip to a new HOME. And I never could never harm you by stealing you away from your destiny. Just for a day...or two I stole you away from your friends and from him…That opportunity I just couldn't miss. I'm even sorry about that too because you'll be in trouble and I don't want you to. You're too good for people to doubt you. And they won't.

You make me happy beyond my control. I have all these new things on my mind and this sickness…but I'm sure I'll be fine. Call a doctor and then go. I'll call you when I'll be better. I'm sorry Odango."

Usagi was crying by now. His voice was tired, yes, but his words were strong and steady. No desperation, no begging. And that scared her even more. He was confessing his love openly, the reason he stayed and he had the maturity to do the right thing and send her home to her loved ones. Only that now she couldn't run or stay quiet like she did before.

"I'm not leaving you. Staying is my choice. Just…don't kiss me again…" she said the first thing that came into mind with a potential of a joke.

"I won't…I'm just…here", he smiled and went down to his knees with her along to a more comfortable position.

"Are you ok? Do you feel worst?" She asked with a voice as tired as his.

"I'm fine, let's just… stay here a little bit longer."

"Ok…" she agreed, scared herself that a walk even to the bed might cause him pain. Sometime later, she forced herself to take the conversation to a crucial question. "Ano…Seiya?"

"Hai…"

"Taiki-san and Yaten-kun went home?"

"Yes."

"But they wait for you…at home…"

"…"

"And you will go soon…when you are better, ne? Now that we had…this time for ourselves and we cleared things…some things…you can go…if you want. Right? "

With the back against the wall, the two contemplated different ways to say "No" to different things.

_"How can I tell you I'm here forever Odango? I'm here for as long as I breathe. No strings attached."_

_"I hope he doesn't think I want him gone. It would be better for him I think. I love you Seiya but I can't tell you that and I can't stand looking at you hurt."_

Feeling Usagi's inner confrontation, Seiya slammed the back of his head into the wall, sighted heavily and tried to change the topic of conversation.

"I should say I'm sorry for the kiss that scared you so much earlier…"

"Yes, you should, it's not something you just do to a …"

"But I'm not."

"You're not what!"

"Saying sorry for that." He replied with a calm face and his midnight blue eyes straight on hers.

In his mind, he felt sorry because it was not the kiss he expected. It didn't feel right and that was confusing him even more. Then, in just a second, before things get serious again, he began ruffling the hair of a more and more annoyed Usagi.

"You baka! Just wait until Haruka finds out!" She declared with a victorious grin. "Or better yet, maybe Rei will be the first to know…Or Mam…Or even Sailor Moon. You can't go around kissing unsuspecting engaged girls, in your room, and in the name of the Moon…"

She babbled and made poses until she realized he was silent. Too silent. So she turned to face him completely and kneeled back down in front of a pale looking Seiya. Drops of sweat came down his forehead and the hands planted in the floor were like claws.

"I'm calling the doctor now."

"You promised…" he frowns.

"I didn't promise to kill you. Even you can realize this is not normal, what we're doing. Even if I call a doctor, I won't leave you."

His eyes were pleading, a sweet form of surrendering to her every word. Usagi surrendered too. Her head dropped to his shoulder and the big blue eyes ghostly reflected serene waters.

"Why do you make this so hard? Stop this and help me make you better."

"So you can send me home with a clear conscience?"

"Stop joking. I'm here am I? I still listen to your crazy demands."

"Yes, you are."

Her expression captivated him. He can almost imagine taking her lips again. _"I scared her the first time. I'm not that kind of a…man. And my hallucinations are no excuse to want her this much. Or hurt her"_.

His head was giving constant orders to his body. Any less than an order and his body would have taken over. His mind, sick as it was, needed to stay focus on not hurting her.

Usagis' arms started to feel the heat from between their bodies. Her dream hunted her and the love she knew now made her weak.

She couldn't hurt him even more by telling him she feels love for him but that makes no difference and she will not stay. She can feel the ghosts of the feelings she had in her dream. Comfort, pride, overwhelming happiness and love; for him and only him.

In front of her, Seiyas' eyes replay the feelings she now knows so well. Maybe he dreamt it too. That impossible dream. And how can they be around each other and act in the same way if they both dreamt that they knew and loved each other completely?

It's both a nightmare and a paradise in so many ways, Usagi takes his face into her hands and brings him closer.

Maybe she can see in his features an understanding she can't have after dreaming that dream. Maybe he saw something she didn't.

Seiya face had an adoring look. He stopped moving when he felt her hands and waited. He saw questions in her eyes. He waited for them. But nothing like that happened.

Her look changed ever so little and that was the word he never hoped to hear.

He put one of his hands on her cheek too. She didn't let go of him. He closed the gap between their lips in what seemed like ages to give her time to run and she didn't. The flame in him exploded, all the resolutions fell and all the worries were out the window above them.

The kiss was more of a gentle breath on each other’s lips. Barely touching his, Usagi lifted her palms from over each side of his face but just an inch. They hovered near him like the moon from behind the curtain. He was burning.

The explosion of happiness and passion was beyond control in his chest. The only sound clearer than the beating of his heart was the song of the two breaths intertwined. He could see her light even with his eyes closed, like the sun but without the redness.

"I'm in love with you like I'm not supposed to."

Maybe he said it before and maybe she pretended not to hear. But this time he felt her ready to accept the true meaning of the confession. He was hers and needed her to know he'll be close no matter what her decision was. Damn, he didn't expect her to make other decision than the one already made.

He was in a one sided love but he truly needed her to comprehend the love he had. It wasn't the love of a friend ready to make her laugh. And not the love of a senshi ready to die for her. He loved her deeply, close to foolishness and danger; like a man.

The echo of the words mixed with the miniature storm of exhaled air in between their lips. In the small space, she could feel the words forming from the movement of his mouth, from the lines his lips drew on hers.

"I know. And I'm scared."

The reply bewildered him. One, because he didn't expect it and two, because she was still there connected to him. But more than anything, he knew she understood completely how he felt by the way that quiet breathing sounded mature and sad.

He started to smile, his inside to heavy and big to be confined and collapsed into her arms.

###

_I can hear her voice in my dream. Now I know instantly who SHE is and I know that she speaks to ME. My hand touches her skin. It's not her hand I'm caressing. The soft path of skin on her back quivers under my touch. She giggles and my heart shivers at the sound._

_I don't want to open my eyes. I have her here and that's enough for me. I don't really care how I got here._

" _Seiya?"_

_I smile even more. The way she says my name makes me believe I was destined to have it. I'm delaying the response because I know somehow she'll say my name again and it will sound entreating. I love that about her._

" _Seiya?"_

_There it is._

" _Yes Odango." I expect a silly question or a sweet request. I'll do anything she asks except open my eyes._

" _Why do you call me that?"_

_I never saw that one coming. I frown. That surely ruined my smile. I ponder on her statement. Is she kidding? Did she forget? Or…This horrible thought hits me in the back of my head and I have to open my eyes._

_I take in the surroundings. It's morning, somewhere. A slender body bathes in the morning light. She stands on her stomach._

_I see my hand on her back. I recognize the silver band I wear for a ring on my middle finger. She has four pink lines on her skin. I must have made them. I feel bad about it._

_I try to awake and she follows, disturbed from the morning languor. My head dislikes the movement and I have to rest it in my palms. She hugs my back and plays with my ear ring. I can feel her skin._

" _You kept calling me that all night. Are you hungry or craving for dumplings?"_

_Another hit in the back of my head. Her voice starts to sound different and the dread creeps in. I turn and meet a questioning pair of green eyes._

_I must look like a crazy man because she moves a little bit to the far end of the bed. I hold my head again. Try to remember. Try to remember. And I do. Little drops of sweat fall and touch my bare skin._

_I'm ME. But she is not HER. I know this woman for two years now. A beautiful petit redhead with green eyes. Nothing like HER. Nothing like my Odango._

_But I lost HER this time. I remember I felt disoriented and lost the count of years. I usually know where SHE is and how old but not this time. And Yume was there. So I changed the road thinking I lost my direction forever. It was a struggle to get my will to live again. It still is some days. But today was the first time in two years that I could feel her near me again._

" _I…said Odango?"_

" _Are you alright? You're pale. Yes, you said it about two or three times. I'll make you something to eat, even dumplings if you crave them so much."_

" _No…no, I'm fine."_

" _I love you too Seiya."_

_I look straight into her eyes. No matter how much I try I can't see her as my love and I can't imagine I told her I loved her. I didn't in two years and she accepts that. So why…_

" _This morning you were so sweet."_

" _This morning?"_

" _Yes. Don't be shy. You kissed my cheek and told me that you love me and that you'll carry me away."_

_I stumble in my rush to get to the door. I can't think about anything beside the pain in my heart. Those words; I know them from so long ago. SHE cried when I told them to HER. Why today again and why with Yume?_

_I start to consider losing my minds. Maybe she is Odango. I saw her looking slightly different before. No! Yume is not Odango. I always felt her light before. She's my light. Damn!_

_Find the way out. Find it. Walk. Don't stop. Don't run. Act normal. Watch where you're going and slow down Seiya! I can't do this right now._

_I feel HER absence like absence of air. Why is today so damn hard? Why does my heart skip every other beat? Slow down. Breathe. I'm immortal but I need air. So breathe. I also need her. More than air._

_Busy streets in the morning make me tired. Slow down. Where am I going? Slow…Ah!_

" _Oh, I'm so sorry. It's my fault."_

_I'm calmed and defeated by this voice. She holds her hand for me to help me away from the wall I collided with because of her. I can't take that hand. I'm afraid I'll never let her go. .Me this time._

" _I'm sorry. Come on, we're both in a hurry and that obviously is a mistake. I'll buy the tea if you join me."_

_Those eyes I missed. And the light she has… If I can only skip this part and go to the one where I can kiss her or even touch her hand. Her hand! I realize she still holds it for me to take so I do._

_She feels it too. From the moment I touch her she feels me. She's confused but says nothing. Like so many times before she lets it go by like a strange feeling. But I know that somehow she knows me and remembers me._

" _Odango…"_

_She smiles my smile. I guess I'm still the only one that can call her that without a brawl. I try to push her buttons for old time's sake._

" _You don't recognize me. I guess I'm not as famous as I thought."_

" _You're funny. Thanks for not being upset. So how about that tea?"_

_I follow her with a smile and take in her smell. I can't remember the last time I felt happiness like this._

_She begins to tell me an insignificant but delightful story about the weather. I'll probably tell her a joke. She'll probably react in a way I never expect and remind me why I'm so in love with her._

_I thank her in silence for finding me. It seems almost unreal. Something in her is connected to me after all. It's the first time I lose her and she found me instead. It's not my imagination. And it's not the destiny everyone talked to me about._

_Until now I thought that being there before the others made her mine because I had the time. And now she comes into my life again by her own unconscious desire. And she makes me the happiest man alive._

_Sitting in the coffee shop I remember I never looked back to the place I left without an explanation this morning. And I don't care._

_When the reason of your existence that you thought you lost bumps into you at a street corner after so many gods forsaken years…would you look back?_


	6. Truly ashen

"Seiya!" Usagi screamed cursing the tears that made it hard for her to see him. They fell all over; even his hand was covered with them.

She did the best she could with the blankets and started to count the seconds and then the minutes and then the hours. Without realizing, she caressed her bottom lip with one hand and his palm with the other. She wasn't as scared now. Even she was tired after what happened. So his calm unconsciousness only made her look after him and paciently wait for him to wake up.

Inside Seiyas' mind there was no pain. After the first dream, Seiya saw princess Kakyuu. She appeared to him and the mesmerizing beauty she radiated warmed him.

_"My dear Seiya…your happiness shines all the way to also you pain."_

_"Princess…."_

_"You are a mere man now Seiya. Not so different than the others on Earth."_

_"I guess this is what I wished for…"_

_"But you have not wished for all that has been given to you…"_

_"Nani?"_

_"You are a man Seiya Kou, but you were born a senshi. And senshis are eternal, born and reborn from spirits, forever on mission when duty calls. Memories are taken every time they reborn and given back little by little and when needed. Because memories are painful and no one can live with the pain or remembering, none of the senshi can have all the memories at once."_

_"What does that mean Princess?"_

_" Fighter…No! Seiya…you will never be a senshi again. Demo…you will never die and never reborn and never forget what was. And that will surely drive you insane little by little. This is not a punishment. But not even one senshi freely gave up its crystal before and I didn't know this will happen. I'm sorry._

_Listen to me my dear Seiya. You may or may not be able to gain the Moon Princess's love. But in the end, Silver Millenium will come, and she will reborn as queen. And she will forget any love other than the one destined for her. But you will be there still, close to her, remembering everything the times gave you._

_I come to you, my Fighter, to give one more chance. I know you can't forget her…but come back. We will do anything to ease your pain in this lifetime. And then…when you will reborn…I'll be able to erase this pain and make you forget. Just come back…"_

_"…Princess…" Seiya's soul hurt in the dream._

_"I already know how it is to be in a one-sided love. I live for her only and the love that makes her shine. It may not be her love for me…but as long as she breathes and I can see her shine…I chose to be here. Just a lifetime away would seem an eternity."_

_"Is this your choice…your final choice?"_

_"It is…Princess."_

_"Then so be it, my immortal fallen star."_

The moment he chose his destiny with his heart, his body collapsed. No longer breathing or moving, Seiya burned only as a man. The fever rose, but he had no reaction to Usagi screams and tears.

"SEIYA! Wake up. Say something. Onegai…SEIYA!"

Usagi was really scared. He recovered every time before. But now, he lays unconscious in her arms.

At 5 pm, she no longer has what it takes to wait. He is lost, between the limp body and the restless soul.

At 5.01 she decides to break her promise.

At 5.30 the room is full. The Moon princess, in her white gown is on the floor with a burning man in her arms. Pluto, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune are beyond words. She seems calm now, the moon sign on her forehead stopped glowing when the outer senshi appeared in front of her. She cradles Seiya back and front, like a mother with her baby. She looks helpless.

"Princess..." the four senshi remains bewildered.

Saturn and Neptune jumped to her side to try and take her out of her revelry. Uranus is horrified. She knows Usagi disappeared yesterday and to find her like this…with Seiya…what was going on?

Pluto stands tall, a small flicker in her eyes. Sadness…confusion…knowledge…

###

_I don't know the time exactly. It's strange to be the protector of time and be surprised by a flash. I take in the surroundings. Neptune and Uranus are near. I can feel their aura seconds before I see them. Their faces become clear. They are angry for some reason._

" _We watched her for over two years now from afar. The inner senshi will be late so we should wake her before she…You realize this can't happen again. We were lucky the first time."_

" _No Uranus! We can't force her awakening. Luna must find her and give her the memories of being a sailor senshi."_

" _If we wait any longer she'll fall in …"_

" _This is not her destiny. It was a mistake the first time. The prince will find her and they will be together. This …interference must be dealt with Pluto. You of all should know better when it comes to him."_

_The moment Neptune says HIM it all comes back to me._

_I first saw him many years ago. He wandered the streets of a far away capital. He walked slow and looked haunted. I couldn't feel his star seed and that's why he escaped my eyes after a corner._

_For a time I thought I dreamt it. He couldn't possibly be here on Earth so many lifetimes after the battle with Galaxia. But he looked just the same. Well, except for the haunted look on his face. I saw it on him on another time. When we asked him not to ever see Princes again and he agreed. Of course, he broke that promise a day later. He was dangerous._

" _Yes. About him…we have to do something."_

_Soon the plan was in place. We had to do ugly things that Serenity-hime would hate us for. But she never could understand that the world does depend on her future with the prince of Earth._

_Because the Earth is the only planet with life left in the solar system. And she is the only one able to use the force of Earth as a Lunar Queen in love and light up the rest of the worlds so that we had life and love everywhere._

_It might be easier to tell her the story, so that she can see the dangers of going astray. But it's my duty and my burden not to tell her. She has to become queen of Earth with all her heart and on her own will and love her King more than anything because she chooses to._

_They are destined to be together, because life must come back to our solar system through their love, stronger in every lifetime._

_And Seiyas' presence here is a danger we must take care of just as we did before._

_It was a lifetime ago when we were too late. Something we missed and they met._

_I was there. I felt a change in our princes and I went to check on her. He beat me to it._

_I saw them crash into each other on a street corner. How silly. She gave him her hand to help him. He recognized her from the beginning. And what scared me was that in his eyes I saw love still._

_The moment he touched her hand she light up. Even across the street and I could feel her shine and warmth. Something inside her was resonating to him. And he knew it because the look on his face changed into something patient and understanding. They drank a tee together that day and in the time it took us to find Luna and speed up the awakening, they were together._

_Uranus went mad seeing them. It only took a couple of months. I had to use my power to stop Uranus from killing him the day Seiya confessed he loved her. He couldn't know we were close. We kept an eye on them all the time. And that day I tried to convince Uranus it wasn't all lost, because our princess didn't answer him. We still had time. Or so we thought._

_Some days later, it was me who saw them. And it was me who witnessed her telling him she loves him too. And me again asking my fellow senshis to retreat and let them be. I don't know why I asked them to do that. Some things are hidden ever from the senshi of time._

_This happened the past lifetime. It can't happen again. We decided to talk to him and see if he remembers us as well. We had to know our… enemy and his intentions. And then, we have to take him out of her … lives._

###

Pluto was taken aback by the sudden flash of memory. It was a future memory and that was very confusing, because it was not the future she saw up until today.

"Serenity-hime…answer us!"

With a stern face, Usagi turns to Saturn.

"Heal him!

"Princess…"

"Heal him NOW!"

Saturn is confused by her tone; cold and desperate. Saturn turns to look at Pluto. And when Pluto bows her head, Saturn knows what it is to be done.

"Get Princess out of here."

"NO!"

"Come on koneko, come with me."

Usagi hasn't got the strength to reply. So Uranus takes her into her arms and leaves the room.

In the living room, they transform back to their civilian form. Usagi hugs her legs and continues to move back and forth.

"Princes! What happened here? Please, calm yourself."

"I…he came back…burning…and then…until tonight…"

"You're not making any sense princes."

Haruka, still petrified of her princess appearance took her in a calming embrace. Patting her back, the wind senshi spoke soothing words. Usagi slowly started to react.

"Thank you for coming. I didn't know who to call and I didn't know if you left after Galaxia…"

"We heard you. Now…tell us what happened."

"I'm so sorry. I never wanted to disappear."

"No one is accusing you. But you have to tell us what is going on so we can help him."

In tears, Usagi told them the story from yesterday, when she saw him collapse. For both their sakes, she left out a few details.

"Saturn will try her best. Now …relax and tell us what else we can do. Are we the only ones you announced?"

"Hai."

"Do you want us to tell the others…"

"NO! Gome ne…not yet…please!"

"Fine. But…"

"Usagi-chan. Come with me. He's awake and asking…well…screaming for you."

Usagi rushed away to his room with Hotaru, leaving Haruka to speak to Michiru and Setsuna.

"Odango…"

She threw herself in his arms and sighted relieved.

"You're awake!"

"But in pain"

"Still?"

"Yes, your elbow is on my ribs"

He tried not to laugh as she jumped sky high away from him.

"You should have just put the elbow somewhere else, I didn't mind the rest."

She blushed furiously. Hotaru was there _…"Stupid Seiya, stupid Usagi…what can possibly be in Hotaru mind right now?"_

Hotaru smiled with serene acceptance.

"Seiya-kun, do you feel better?"

He never took his eyes of Usagi as he responded.

"Hai, domo arigatou Hotaru-chan."  
"It wasn't that difficult."

"He almost died. Only you could have done this Hotaru-chan." Usagi said and hugged the little girl.

"Actually Usagi-chan…a couple of flu medicine would have done the job…"

"Flu…medicine…". Usagi repeated in disbelief.

"Flu as in wet nose, fever, body ache and all that stuff I never had while on Earth?"

"Yes Seiya. And huge stress and fatigue." Hotar smiled at the two amazed people.

Slowly but steady Seiya started to laugh. A good, hard, human laugh. Usagi on the other hand…wasn't so happy. She put on her diplomatic face and turned her back to Seiya.

"Hotaru…thank you very much for coming. Please wait for me in the living room; I'm sure the others want to talk. I'll be there in a minute."

"No need to thank me Serenity-hime. Have a good recovery Seiya-kun."

"Arigatou…"

The door was closed behind Hotaru for some time now. But Usagi still had her back to Seiya. In her mind she believed she had been lied too. In her heart, she felt betrayed.

"Well, that was silly of you…to break you promise for …a case of flu. I must react different to it, since I never had it and…"

"YOU… LIAR! How could you! You…"

"Odango…" her reaction made him panic.

"You lied and made me feel helpless and scared and …how could you fake this! Do you have any idea what troubles I'm going to face? BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"Odango! What are you saying … I never faked anything! You think…I did this to keep you here? Look at me! LOOK AT ME!"

"No. I'll be leaving after I talk to them. I hope I can still save something with the people I LOVE. Get well and send my best wishes to the others and Princess Kakyuu. Go home…Seiya-kun…Sailor StarFighter…"

He never got the chance to catch her. She went like a dream, in a whisper. He hit the door and didn't have the strength to open it. He could hear her outside, muffled sounds of an angel. A very disappointed angel. One that hated him. Hated …

_"It that what you think…is that what my confession made you believe? That I can …deceive you? Odango…"_

"Ah!" He felt fine after Saturn healed him and the splintering headache took him by surprise. Down by the door, alone, Seiya fell into revelry.

###

_I'm back stepping all of my moves trying to figure it out. Maybe I did something to give away my existence. I have no escape this time. I was able to elude them for some time now, but this time I'm stuck. I can't take her away with me yet._

_The autumn wind plays with her. I smile. Even if the situation is grim and I'm trapped, she makes me smile. And I want to protect her more than anything._

_They sit likes statues in the distance watching us. Only when the sunset slips in one of them moves. Gracefully and impending also. It's Pluto; I'm sure about it. When she's close enough to see her eyes I get up from the bench. I know I have no chance against her with my powers gone but I'll try nonetheless if it comes to that._

" _You hide well."_

" _I don't hide at all."_

" _From us you do."_

" _Not even."_

" _I'm curious to know how you can disguise the light of your star seed. We can't track you."_

" _It's a long story."_

" _You don't have the time to tell it to anyone. You'll be gone tonight. Away from Earth."_

" _That's another long story."_

" _I don't want to fight you. I still respect what you did for our princes back in the days of Galaxia. But I don't think I have that much more gratitude left after what you did."_

" _I'm surprised too. You shouldn't remember. None of the girls remember me. Convenient I must say. Finally a little luck for me."_

" _I didn't give them the memories. They wouldn't know what to do and may stand in our way."_

" _So you have a plan."_

" _Yes. But before we try that I'll try to offer you a way out. Leave now and never return. Don't search for her."_

" _Unlike you, who need time for rebirth and remember…I don't. And I do search for her in every lifetime; she's the only thing I search for. Sometimes I find her alone. Other times…she's with him and I leave, patiently waiting for the next life. If I find her alone, I don't let go. Because I love her and I live to protect her. You should say Thanks."_

" _What?"_

_I can see I scored a point. I'm not sure it was a good idea to reveal myself but they have to know I have a clear advantage. The calm Pluto is getting furious. It's pretty infuriating not to know the whole story._

" _How can that be? You're a senshi just like us."_

" _I used to be. Look. I know you. You don't know what I am. But know this; I'm here for her and I'll never leave. If I wouldn't found her she would have found me. Somehow, we meet in every life. I'm not your enemy."_

" _You're the enemy of our future."_

" _No. I told you I let her choose. Unlike you."_

" _You…"_

_My temper will be the end of me. It's not a smart move to get her mad. I can't handle a fight. Not with her here._

" _Hey! I don't know where the future leads her, but for now I can claim a part in her life."_

" _No, you cannot. Not the way you want too. I'll make you disappear before you meet her in this life."_

" _Oh? You're a little late."_

_With the corner of my eye I can see the questions on her face. But I'm concentrating now on the small lump of pink clothes playing in the sandbox. The time senshi sees her for the first time and her shock makes me smile._

" _Princes…"_

" _She found me this time." I replay in my head our meeting. I remember how she just came to me on the street and took my hand. The impact of emotions was so powerful it hurt. I thought about it for a second before deciding to stay close to her and wait for her to grow up. She is 6._

_She was lost that day and I helped her find her mother. I'm like a baby sitter for her now. It was strange to think of her as my love, but soon I got used to concentrating on the protection feelings I had for her._

" _So you see Setsuna-san. You can't make me leave without hurting her. She's safe with me. Can't you just trust me? Like before?"_

" _We…"_

_I was curious of the answer. But she was cut of by the running child._

" _Se…iya!" she said my name and jumped at the same time from an impossible distance into my arms. I saw Pluto lift her arms as to catch her if I would miss. But I didn't. It was a game we played often. She smelled like wind and I was worried she was cold. So I cradled her and took another look at the time senshi._

" _What next?"_

_She contemplated the image of us and I could see through her eyes. This child loves me._

" _We'll meet again."_

" _I'll be here."_

" _Yes…maybe._

###

Seiya woke up and lifted himself from the ground with the dream still fresh in his mind. It was maybe more than a dream…but it was a fight for sure.


	7. Meandering rhapsody

"I can't believe he did this…I don't know how I can be such an idiot. I never should have stayed" Usagi thinks as she resumes her place on the couch, ready to confront the outer senshi.

"Mina…arigatou."

"Is he all right?" Uranus asks before anything.

"Yes…he must be. I know how this looks…"

"It looks like you care. And we already knew that. So don't worry so much. It's not like I'm going to kill him for trapping you in a room for 24 hours…"

Usagi made a horror face contemplating the scene of Haruka versus Seiya.

"He he…I…wasn't thinking you would…"

"We want to know the whole story behind him being here, that's all. We were allies. And allies help each other. Ne, koneko?"

"Haruka…" she felt gratitude for the attitude.

"What now? We will take you home if you want."

"Thank you again Michiru-san. But no, I guess I'll walk home. It's safe now."

"Yes, thanks to you Princess. I'll let you talk to Pluto."

Michiru hugged the little tired girl and headed for the door, following Hotaru. Setsuna asked them time to talk to Usagi after her flash-forward into the future. She had to understand and maybe fix things.

After Michiru's words, the room sounded like wind. From the fan in the ceiling.

 _"Michiru smiled her secret smile again. I wonder what Haruka is doing"_ , Usagi wondered as Haruka headed for THAT room. " _I hope Haruka was serious when she said she will not kill him. He's a liar but…"_

"Princess…I must tell you…Fighter is no longer."

"What!"

Those words, in that silence, made Usagi stumble on the coffee table. Her heart started racing again as she rubbed her wounded leg.

"What do you mean, he's right there. Safe and sound…I hope." She ended the sentence looking toward the quiet room with her hand on her broach.

"I feel no trace of a senshi in Seiya-kun. That is why we couldn't see where you were until you became Serenity. Near him, your light is divided. Like it hits a mirror and goes back between just you and him."

Usagi's blue eyes became bigger. " _Does he know? Was he really that sick because he's not a senshi anymore?"_

"I had no intention to do that."

"No…I think it has to do with him. Did he say anything more to you…?"

"NO! I mean…no, he was feeling very sick…or so I thought."

"You must speak to him and find out everything. It is very important."

"Setsuna-chan…do you…do you see something different in the future?"

_"Why do I ask this? It's been two days since the battle with Galaxia and she didn't say a word. I must know about Cristal Tokyo and Silver Millennium and Chibi-usa…It's a normal question to ask…Right?"_

Pluto decided in a second she should keep quiet about the things she saw. But just the fact that Usagi was asking this question convinced her she must reach the gates of time as soon as possible.

"The future is the same, calm again. And you must prepare Princess. Your destiny is close to fulfilling."

"How close?" Usagi asked, more scared than curious.

"You know I can't say that. You have grown so much with all these battles. You will be ready, we believe in you. For now, live your life and be happy, close to the ones you love."

"Hai!" _"I will, if they ever forgive me going *puff* for a day. I have to explain to them. Haruka and the others didn't take it all that bad. Pfiu!...But Mamo-chan…And what is going on with you Seiya. You said you stayed for me but now I find out you have no powers…are these more lies? Oh…my head. I don't have the power to talk to you now. This hurts so much…I just want to go home. Get away from here."_

Her long golden hair stood in dismay. Her eyes were hot and concentrated to the point of shooting rays. Touching the broach she almost lost, the deep feeling of loss took her down a steep road to pain.

Setsuna kept her composed posture, but her eyes, looking at the destiny of the princess in front of her, waver.

 _"So much sadness. But as long_ …" her thoughts comfort her. " _She is so important to us all. I must speak to the others soon. And after that I'll leave back to my post,"_ Pluto decided and took a last long look to the door. It was maybe for the best that Haruka wasn't aware of the change. She will find about her premonition later.

Usagi realized Haruka is with Seiya for a while now. After how Haruka reacted earlier…she couldn't predict what was going on inside that room.

As soon as Setsuna left, she tried to go back to him, to see at least if he was ok. Maybe he wasn't in a critical state, but she felt him slip into nothingness when she held him, before de Outer senshi came. Yes, she said harsh words, but she was angry, so angry and scared of everything.

 _"I won't say I'm sorry either. And besides, I need my communicator._ " She walked like a ghost from the front door, through the living room, by the couch and stopped in front of the room where she spent the last 24 hours.

_"I'm not eavesdropping, just that I don't want to come in and see Haruka over Seiya with her sword. Imagine my position as a witness against my friend. And the headlines: superstar Seiya Kou, from The three lights, butchered with a sword…Aaaa, no, no, get that image out of your head Usagi"_

Beyond the black wooden door, his voice was clear and as beautiful when screaming as when he was singing.

" _Good, just arguing, not killing each other"_ she breathed relieved.

But then, the words became clearer.

" **She accuses me of lying. I did lie. I did. And you caught me. Stop looking at me like that. Hit me for lying to her. I told her a lot of things today. None was even close to the truth. I'm using her, because I'm helpless."**

 **At 6.10 pm** she commanded herself not to listen anymore. _"He knows that he's no longer a senshi and he needs me to…It's not love, it's…Maybe he knows I'm Serenity and I have the Ginzuishou and he thinks my powers will help him. He could have asked...But lie...like this..."_

She gently touched his bedroom door and felt cold. In the brink of tears, she turned on her heals and run away. **It was 6.11.**

_"Home…I want to go home"_

Inside, at 5.50 pm, he was but a shell, she was out his bedroom door and trying to hate.

At 5.51 he was still lost to her, knuckles turned white, eyelids trying to keep the fire inside. The covers of the bed stood lying on the floor next to him and he could smell her there. Her sweet troubled sleep in his arms..." _In my arms..."_

5.52 and the person he expected to protect Usagi was towering him. He could feel Haruka's presence slowly wiping off Usagi's last remaining scent. Only then he raised his head to confront the wind senshi.

What he saw wasn't what he was prepared for. Not a single sign of fury or hate. Just...

"What's with the pity? Take that mask off or I'll obliterate it for you."

Haruka didn't move, or change her look. She stood there, a foot away from him, watching how he clenched his fists.

"Say something! Or better yet, hit me. Yes, I'm all healed now...no more stupid flu. So hit me. I'll respond; I know you don't like to hit a man unless he fights back. But please...hit me!"

"What did you give up?" Haruka asked with warm eyes.

Shock...Their eyes met in one second and in the other Seiya was holding his head in both his hands.

"So? Answer me! What's her worth to you?"

Haruka never changed the tone. Warm and ...understanding. She closed the gap between them and stood next to Seiya on the floor, their back resting on the beds edge.

With one side of his face showing, Seiya raised his lips in a defenseless smile.

"Everything. Odango is everything."

"Did you tell her that before the battle? Was that why she acted so strange?"

"I told her a few things…but that odango head is dense, I'll give her that. Maybe it was for the best she didn't understand. Now I blow it and say it all, give up everything else and then make her hate me. This plan of getting her away from me could have come from the old you. It's flawless."

He then burst into a hysterical laughter. Haruka never moved. Slowly, his laugh deserted him. Like all fake smiles, it took a place on the floor, to be stepped on and forgot **at 6.10 pm.**

" **She accuses me of lying. I did lie. I did. And you caught me. Stop looking at me like that! Hit me for lying to her! I told her a lot of things today. None was even close to the truth. I'm using her, because I'm helpless."**

This was what Usagi heard from behind the door. Just that she misunderstood the meaning.

"I gave up my world, my powers and the right to forget. So she could be here, for a day and look at me with pity. I'm that stupid! I settle for pity as long as I can see her eyes looking at ME. Not him or her friend, just me."

Seiya couldn't be stopped. And didn't care who was next to him. He had to get it of his system. What he didn't know was that in that exact moment, behind the door, the woman he loved was hearing some of those next words, completely out of context.

"That's…how I feel when I'm near her. Not Figher, not a 17 years old boy in this body. Just utterly, helplessly in love. And here I am, telling this to the one best suited to blow me out the face of the Earth. I must be mad, because I don't regret it. Not even for a second."

His tirade ended draining him. Usagi was long gone from outside the door, believing she heard the whole truth. In fact, she misunderstood everything.

"There's still time. To regret it. It's only today and **6.11 pm**."

"Yeah...a lot of time for me."

"So you gave up your life and your pride. Sounds like you."

"Are you going to hit me now?"

"No..."

"I thought so."

The two stared at the ceiling. One pair of eyes serene, the other thoughtful.

"Why the change? I was sure you're gonna kill me." Seiya confessed.

"I understand how you fight and how you think. You have no chance in this battle, but you still fight; you have to. Just like with Galaxia. I knew in the end that I can trust you with her life; because you would have protected her with the risk of yours."

"And I undestand how YOU fight…"

"Considering you thought I was going to kill you today...I don't think so."

"I know you are divided. The out and the in of a world where she is the center. And she must be protected from everything that comes..."

"...from afar, from within her or the others, from the past and the future." Haruka ended Seiya's words.

"And you think that it's not necessary for her to agree with you or to feel responsible for you."

"As long as she and the future we protect are safe. Yes, that would be part of who we are. But you still have a lot to learn. It's not like I'm going to tell you everything. I still have to maintain advantage, just in case I'll have to kick your butt", Haruka scolded, winking.

"Just in case…"

The two of them smiled a little, contemplating the events that would lead to an ass-kicking. Seiya blushed. Haruka nearly lost her smile. In the remote room, somewhere on Earth, a man and a …well, we can say two men, weren't enemies.

"You can still be my enemy!"

Ups, I've spoken too early. Haruka doesn't seem mad, or threatening. This is just something that has to be said.

"I'm my own enemy now…I've hurt her. And if you continue to refuse the fight…I'll have to think of someone else."

"Don't be stupid…well…I guess you can't help it, but stupid actions don't fit with a fighter…"

"I'm not Fighter. Just Seiya. And you sound like Yaten."

Images of the brothers he had flooded his mind. Laughs and fights and their eyes as he made the choice.

"I said A fighter, not you Fighter, hardheaded whiner. What do you plan to do from now on?"

"…"

"Oh come on. We're bounding here, ne?" Haruka seemed amused with the choice of words.

Seiya didn't respond with amusement. He hardened his jaw and closed his eyes.

"What would you do if I told you I'm here to take her away?"

"Let's not talk impossible things."

"Oh, not even the fury of imagining me doing it?"

"No, because you won't."

"I'm …"

"You just told me you couldn't do it."

"I did?"

"Yes Seiya you can't stand the thought that she's sad. You're pouring your soul out to a stranger. AND… you cry."

"Hey! First of all, I'm a way cooler man than you will ever be. And: I NEVER CRY!"

"Bet you do."

"You don't have to make me eager for a fight, I already am."

„ _I like this kid. And I pity him…"_

"You know it's nothing you can do from now on that won't affect her."

"You can say I'm addicted to her light. Addicted persons can be dangerous."

"We all are addicted to her light. And if you will ever be considered as a threat…you know what to expect. Anyway, this was your only day with her. I don't care about your choice. She asked us not to tell the others. As long as you don't come near her…we won't."

"I understand the strategy now: no fight, break me with words. How can you say I can't see her?"

"It's just that…I know love. You may say you want to be close as a friend. And I may believe you're sincere. But not long after it starts, the sight of her with Mamoru will drive you mad. I guess you remember our first encounter…in Michiru's changing room."

"You know…about that…"

"Don't worry; I'll kill you for that only if it happens again."

"Deal. I'll have to find out how this immortality works. Maybe I can find some advantages to it."

"Immortal…so you'll be an old, powerless man in the end. And I'll stop worry…"

"No. I'll be a cool GUY forever. More for you to worry."

"…"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot".

"What is her…destiny?"


	8. Erratic lullaby

The way home was hard. Confused in the dim light Usagi did all she could: put a step after another on a well known road. She felt empty. The never empty streets of Tokyo are empty and cold.

At 5.00 pm yesterday her heart started to race. For a new chance to say "thank you" and "forgive me".

At 5.01 her heart stopped from fear when he collapsed.

The other night her head was spinning after he touched her lips. She never had the chance to tilt her head this time. And there were no tears escaping. Just breaths and heartbeats. He scared her with his passion and yet his care for her. His hands never pulled her but still she never backed away. With her eyes wide open, against a cold wall, all she could think was decisions. But all she could feel was pure, defenseless love, radiating in him.

"I can't believe he faked it. It's not possible for him to lie to the Moon princess in matters of the heart. Is it? Oh…Minako would come in handy…Minako-chan, Rei-chan, Mako-chan, Ami-chan...What will I say to you? I don't know what to say to myself. I can't hate him even if he lied about the sickness or he exaggerated in the words he said…He's… my friend. And he was there for me all that time when…"

A yellow car with loud music erased her line of thoughts. Or better yet, changed it. "But why am I so angry at him? And so disappointed…and why won't my heart stop racing?"

The gentle wind swept across her face and the neglected strands of hair wiped her in the rhythm of the empty town.

Her steps took her home eventually.

"Mama…I'm home! I'll be in my room sleeping!"

"Usagi…where have you been? I've been so worried."

"Ano…Trust me oka-san, it's a long story. But I'm ok and that's important. I'm a big girl now. I'll be upstairs."

_"They have no idea what happened in the last days. I wish I could do that to myself sometimes. Erase the memory."_

The bed looked very tempting. But in the moment she stood over the covers, she felt it cold and deserted. She cried, trying to ignore it. When it became too hard, she picked up the phone and dialed a long memorized number.

"Usako…Where are you?"

His beautiful blue eyes melted in the violent sunset sky. He's been like that since she was gone. The first night, he went through the city until he was exhausted. When he couldn't do it like Tuxedo kamen, he grabbed his motorbike and pushed on. Now his eyes wore dark bags and his hair stood in dismay. The trembling hand barely had the courage to pick up the phone when it called. Catching the phone with the other hand when it slipped, he breathed his soul when he said "Usako".

"Come. My house. Please forgive me."

He never heard the sorry part. The window remained open behind him.

_"I'm coming…"_

It took all her strength to decide to call. And all her courage to call HIM. Trembling with the phone in her hand she continued to say sorry. To her and to him and to …him.

###

_I creep inside the apartment with my own key. It fits. Once the door is open the light inside blinds me. I take the time to adjust to its intensity so I only hear him step into the room. My heart picks up the pace and I forget everything I wanted to say._

" _Odango…"_

_I wonder if he'll still call me that after. I look at him. His hair is wet and dripping. I understand why I had a crush on him ever since I was 14. He never seems to age._

_Up until these days I hopped he'll give me a sign that he likes me too. I never told him I liked him that way. My dream is that the boy confesses to the girl. I waited._

_Today, I came here to tell him the most important thing. By the look in his blue eyes, I can tell he knows it. From time to time he has a look that makes me feel so very young. Even now, when I'm 18, with his forever young face, he still looks ages older in his eyes._

" _Is everything alright?"_

_I know it's just a question but the answer is hard. I should say "Yes" but I feel like he'll be mad somehow. He has to know._

" _I … yes, everything is alright. Maybe more than alright. I hope you'll be happy for me. You know our talk about the prince I was waiting for?"_

_He gives up trying to dry his hair and let's himself fall on the couch._

" _I remember."_

" _Well…don't laugh but for a while I really thought …well…that you are the one."_

_His eyes shoot up so fast their intensity sends me a step back. They tremble and there's no blue in them, it's all black. I don't know if he's angry with me because I ruined our friendship with this confession or it's something else._

" _You …what?"_

" _You must have noticed. I've been in love with you from the beginning. I hoped you would love me too, and you'll want to be more than a friend."_

" _Odango…"_

" _It's alright now. I was so lucky to have you as a friend." I barely have the power to look at him. This is so embarrassing. I wish I could read his reaction._

_He seems smited by my words. And then, out of nowhere he smiles the kind of smile I wished he would give me and comes almost running to get me in his arms. If I would still be in love with him, this would be Paradise._

" _I love you so much."_

_I stumble out my last breath. Can't close my eyes to hold the tears. Can't move!_

" _I waited for you to say this words for so long…"_

_I recover from the shock and remember why I'm here for. It's not for confessing my love to him. It's to tell him, my best **friend** , that I found my love. Mamoru. Someone I bumped into two weeks ago and whom I feel like I knew for ages. _

" _Seiya…"_

_He slowly let's go of me, aware that I'm not responding to the hug. One look at me and he knows. He caresses my cheek with a dead cold hand, smiles an old man smile and looks an old mans' look._

_I know somehow I'm not going to see him for a long time. He retreats to his couch; puts his head on his hands and the light makes him look almost translucent. I even believe for a second he will disappear in front of my eyes. But then he spoke - "You found him." – And my heart wasn't complete anymore._

###

The sheets were wet by the time she got up, remembering to undo the lock on the window. She thought of the dream and smiled a little thinking that her Mamo-chan will use the window to come into her room at night.

Two days, two boys, two things her parents would kill her for. In the new moon light she looks like the queen she will be. Only that all the new sorrow made her sober and focused on something nobody else saw.

Turning away from the horizon, she looked at the reflection in the window. Examining, criticizing and detesting. "I'll be a queen, I must be strong, I have them all back…and I haven't changed a bit. I'm a selfish…"

"Usako."

The dream she had left trails of tears on her and she could see it. Next to her tear strained face, the face of a prince, looking adoringly, was calling her.

She doesn't turn to him. Just her hand goes to catch his. And he follows, intertwining his fingers with her cold ones. Breathing in her scent, he kisses the back of her neck giving her shivers.

"I'm sorry Mamo-chan!"

"You don't have anything to…"

"Do you know where I've been?"

The question scared him somehow. The way she put it, more to herself, blaming, accusing…scared him. But he hugged her back and whispered into her ear.

"You came back. I never did."

Her big blue eyes flickered. He was looking at her reflection right in the eyes. She turned, slowly brushing his body. When her eyes met his, she was back to that calculated side of her he knew so little about.

"I was with Seiya…Fighter. All this time."

The ceiling looked more appealing to Seiya than anything else. He lingered with the questions between curiosity and the feeling he's going to suffer. A lot.

"You don't know the story? I guess neither of us had the time to tell you." Haruka told him, realizing as she said the words that Seiya had no idea about Usagis' true form.

"So there's a story…"

"Yes you baka, it isn't a freaky cult thing the fact that we protect her like this. And it isn't because she is Sailor Moon."

"I figured that much. But I …hoped the destiny thing is just something …stupid."

"Look Seiya, it's almost 10 pm. I have to go home. We understand each other, but it's too soon to move in together."

Haruka laughed at the man's look. He was almost panicked to remain alone and with all the questions.

"Oh man, you are weaker by the minute. Ok. Let's get a coffee. I'll give you the short version."

"We need coffee for the SHORT version?"

"I will need a coffee, yes. You…probably a stronger something."

"There's a nice coffee shop down stairs."

"Oh no. It's more complicated than this. I'm not supposed to say anything and …if I think about it, I was the last to think will break the rule. We'll stay here. Get your sorry ass and make coffee."

"Ok, ok. But the only reason I let you boss me around…"

"I know, I know…just...listen and shut up. It's not an interview so I don't take questions. Listen and …understand."

At the kitchen counter, on the high stools, Seiya stood motionless in front of a coup of hot tea with his head down, like in a boring class. Haruka took a sip from the cup and started to speak, looking away.

"She was a princess. A thousand years ago. The night her mother gave a ball in the honor of her engagement, evil came to the Moon. They were all killed. The princess and the prince of Earth, along with all the senshi were sent into the future, to reborn and live happy. The queen did this with the help of a crystal. But she died doing it. She was Serenity's mother. Serenity is Usagi. And the prince she loved a thousand years ago and was reborn to love again is Endymion…Mamoru."

Seiya squeezed his eyes and his teeth but said nothing. "Hold on, this is just the beginning", Haruka mentally warned him, hearing the reaction.

"We were born here, every one of us with one task: find and protect the princess and the future. The little klutz never knew she was her; until one day when she saw Mamoru die. Just like she did when you were unconscious, she became the strongest form of the being she is. From that moment on they were together. And he loves her more than anything, he proved it many times. They…"

"Tell me about HER!" Seiya said with an annoyed tone. He corrected it fast when he saw Haruka stare at him. "Please, tell me more about her."

"She…well, we started to remember the past. And then…her daughter came to the past because the future was in danger…"

"Her daughter! Came to the past? Are you making fun of me?"

"You can believe in resurrection and immortality and you think I invent a future daughter for Usagi?"

Seiya sat up and started to look for glasses. Just to be going something.

"We had a lot of enemies before you came here. We died a few times and she did it every time. She saved us. And still, she has no trust in herself…Seeing her future daughter made her a little more confident. If she had Chibiusa…maybe things can't go so bad with her as a queen.

So Chibiusa told us a few things about the future and still comes to visit now and then. Usagi and Mamoru love her a lot, and we love her too. So that is how I know Usagi is a good and loved queen, and she already has her prince, for thousands of years into the past and future. And she is an angel. So don't mistake her care and gratitude for…"

Haruka stopped when she heard something crack. She lifted her eyes to see a bleeding Seiya near the sink. He was not looking at his cut. The glass that used to be was red with a man's blood. Boiling blood. Seiya was looking at Haruka straight in the eyes.

Haruka believed she ended her mission of breaking Seiya's hopes by turning his own love for Usagi against him.

But Seiya only pretended to be broken. His dreams told him a different story. And he trusted them now, because it was easier than to believe she will never love him. He was beyond convincing. He needed her the way he dreamt her.

"I'm not confusing her attitude with anything. You have no idea what…" Seiya started to say, but then remembered Usagis' worries. He won't tell anyone about what happened. It was her decision. And by the way Haruka acted, Usagi decided against telling the whole story. So he calmed himself, cleaned the wound and escorted Haruka to the door.

"I'm tired. We'll talk more tomorrow. Maybe I'll even get your permission to go and apologize.

"Maybe we'll have a meeting at Reys' temple."

"Ya, maybe that. Thanks!"

Haruka left the building and met Michiru at the front door.

"I thought you left."

"I thought you'll be happy to see I'm back."

"I am, of course."

"I'm happy you didn't kill him."

"He doesn't deserve that."

"Maybe you'll change your mind after you speak to Pluto."

"What?"

"The sea is restless Ruka. I'm afraid we missed something. Something important."


	9. Jaded onlooker

In a calm night wind, in a stormy room, two lovers were breaking.

"I was with Seiya…He never left. I saw him collapse in the street and helped him to his house."

"It's a good thing Usako. You helped a friend."

Mamoru's words were more for his comfort. He felt in her, aside from the incredible power, a great indecision. Her perfect blue eyes had shadows and her tiny body wouldn't stop trembling, even in his arms. So when he said it was a good thing, it was more to his own comfort. So that he can avoid a little longer the moment when…

"He loves me."

His eyes studied her face, his warm and tired hand explored her tear strained neck.

"I know."

It was her turn to shoot a look. Full of questions and sadness, Usagi then became composed again.

"Of course you did, that baka made it clear for everyone."

"Except you?"

She knew she opened the door to this question. _"This is what I wanted right? To tell him everything. But I love him so much, how can I make him suffer?"_ She started to shiver uncontrollably in his warm arms. And his scent was transforming in and out with the one of a memory. She couldn't take it anymore. She tosses her head and goes deeper into his arms through his dark blue shirt. And his red, full bloom roses smell took care of her, like promised so many lives ago. She quivered and began to fall to the ground.

_"His arms are here, like in the good days, he is here with me. My prince. My Mamo-chan."_

###

_I love the smell of cherry blossoms in the spring. I feel safe and warm with my sun so close. He walks a slow pace so I can keep up. He smells even better. I press my cheek to his shirt and take a deep breath. Yes, he definitely smells better than the spring._

" _Are you tired?"_

_His voice is even better. Smooth as the flowers around us. I look up and I can barely see him because of the bright sun. He's tall and dark haired. Like a prince._

" _We are almost there."_

_I don't know where he leads me, but with his arm guiding me I feel I could go on forever. The way he barely touches my back is mesmerizing. But I soon realize he seems a little uncomfortable. He supports my weight with his arm, but his warm body is alienated and wary._

_I try to look at his face and smile to encourage him. I want him close. The sun still obscures my view. If you ask me, nothing should be more blinding than him. I feel my cheeks redden because of my thoughts and my eyes tearful because of the engulfing light._

" _Hang on. Please don't cry. We're here."_

_He's even a little funny with all that unnecessary worry in his tone. I want to tell him I'm not crying but when I look up again I still can't look into his eyes._

_Down his marble cheek I see something catching the light of the sun. The seconds linger until I understand it's a tear. He follows the rhythm of my trembling heart with his own quiver._

" _She's here. Call of the search."_

_I'm startled by the sound of his voice this time. It's so much different than before. I don't like it and I leave his face to look at the person he's talking to. The wind pick up its pace and whisks all the parks' flower petals._

_In the most beautiful light, immovable like a painting, stands the most heartbreaking beautiful man. His extended hand calls me home and his blue eyes promise me comfort. I know inside I love him more than anything._

_I can't restrain my hand from reaching. But when it touches him, I remember the other warm, trembling hand left behind. I can't turn my head because not even a second passes before the reaching hand becomes a fierce embrace. I remember the heat of this body and the protective sweetness of him._

_His still lips on my forehead begin to move and I can guess the words forming are not for me. So I really fight his loving embrace to try and see who I left behind._

_My heart forgets how to beat in rhythm as the words come out. The sun lets me see his strained face for a moment as the wind plays with his dark hair. I wish he would look at me, just once. Instead, he turns around and stays there like a shadow._

" _Arigatou. For bringing her back to me," says the loving man holding me close. As he sends his gratitude, my savior clenches his fists and just walks away quiet._

###

Weak and babbling Mamorus' name, Usagi was almost asleep by the time he carried her to the bed.

After he put her in and tucked her he just stood on the floor, two feet away from her mesmerizing face.

_"I'm sorry for leaving you Usako. I can't imagine how something else seemed more important than you. I loved your innocence and now I'm the one that forced it out of you. The greatest battle of all, and I left you alo…But you weren't alone, were you? What happened here?"_

He mentally talked to her, remembering the goodbye on the roof and that man senshi who told him to take care of Usagi. Her troubled sleep continued to call to him so he smiled, defeated by her presence and moved himself onto the bed, close to her.

"Mamo-chan…Your scent ... Never leave again."

"Usako.."

Spoken inside the mind, her words got to him in waves of overwhelming love and light. Her shine was too much for him to bear. He involuntary took her closer, their bodies closer than ever, almost one. Startled by his own desire, Mamoru smiled a loving smile in her hair and made sure his arms cannot be taken away from her by anyone.

"No matter what, I love you more than anything Usako"

At 2 am, two lovers share a bed and light engulfs the room. And the prince is dreaming.

###

_I hope she doesn't catch a cold. I hope she's safe. Run! Get to her first! She calls out to me and only me. This is my calling; to find her. I see a small shape and feel her shine. I'm relieved for the moment. She's alive._

_I come close to her to try and pick her up. I wish she'd stop saying what she says but she's hallucinating. I burry my face in her hair and say soothing words. Slowly, she comes to her senses._

_I want to carry her in my arms but she mumbles something and I give up. After a couple of steps she snuggles into my chest and breaths deeply. I use my hand to keep my heart together. I love her much more than I thought._

_In my mind I make up a few scenarios. Escape plans. Even if it's not supposed to be like this, she gets hurt in every one of them. I give up. At least I have this. I have my Odango-atama safe._

_We walk slowly so I can have more time. I'm just afraid she doesn't have that time so I ask if she's fine. Her sweet mumbles leave me out of breath. And the way she looks up at my sends shivers up my spine._

_It's to early when I see our destination up front. I move her a little away from me and stop when I'm close enough. I have to remind myself this was my decision, for her sake. No matter how much this hurts, she'll be loved and cared for; I know it._

_She responds to him even like this, in shock. She reaches for his hand and the look in his eyes reflects the one I had many times before._

_It takes all my power to see her in his arms and to keep quiet. I should say it's my right to have her. But it's not. It's her choice. And I have to go. Go! Leave!_

_I'm already with my back to them when I hear him._

" _Arigatou. For bringing her back to me."_

" _Back". I should hate him even only for this word. But I don't. I walk away thinking she's safe with him. After all, she kept saying his name when I found her. The name burns my ears and I pick up the pace so that the wind can be louder. But it isn't._

_Everything is so complicated and I was so unprepared for THIS life. They made me understand some things, but it's beyond understanding. I fight with the need to be close and the need to be far. I can still hear his name in her voice when I found her and his face when she was in his arms._

" _Seiya..." I walk away from him, his name and …my beloved Usako._

###

At 2.01, another love warms with its breath the cold window.

"Odango…"

Standing outside her bedroom, Seiya feels pain and jealousy and …treason? He left his house immediately after Haruka. He understood the plan the Outers had. To break him using his love for Usagi and the presupposition he will not do anything to hurt her. Basically…true. But he still had a chance to give her choice to be free from destiny and maybe…only maybe she will say yes.

He stood on the concrete balcony, his back to the wall, contemplating the words he could say to her. Words for her to forgive him and words to believe him and then to make her realize she loved him.

"I know you feel something Odango. I saw it in your eyes last night and I could taste it on you. And definitely it isn't only pity or your good soul. _Yes, maybe, but look at her now you stupid. She stayed with you because you were sick and now she sleeps in his arms. He is her rest._ Oh shut up stupid voice."

Seiya chased away the little voice but put his temple to the glass door so he could peek inside. And waves of guilt came over him. Mamoru does love her. He couldn't pretend not to see it in his hold on her, and his deeply troubled expression.

He saw her clearly, in the light of a spectacular moon. And he was bewildered by her beauty. He never saw her like this before. Their connection is, with or without abiding the laws in culture, friendship or alliances…something above understanding.

He's never been a Peeping Tom like she accused him that day. But now he could see the advantages of watching her, even if she was with Mamoru. Yes, it's painful beyond words, but her image will be imprinted in his mind like never before.

Her long slim body curving to fit in the man's arms. Her breath even and deep, like taking inside her every part of him. Her golden hair on his face and her skin glowing with royal light.

He could imagine himself there in his place, taking in her warmth. And in his mind, that wouldn't be so wrong. He knows he would love her for millennia too. Now he can. But that man who he believed hurt her was there, always there, loving every part of every identity she had.

Haruka never exaggerated. If that man left, it was a mistake. But if he never replied, it wasn't because he betrayed her. It was because he died fighting for her and the planet. Seiya couldn't take it anymore.

He realized the communicator he brought to Usagi has wet. The hand holding it was sweaty, full of nail marks and bloody. The image of the blood on his hand triggered the headache and with it…

###

_Fear. Deep, excruciating pain and fear. I'm searching with my eyes because my body is so very tired. It's in vain, because I can't feel her._

_Images of the others play in my mind. They came to tell her the truth and force her to awake. She refused to listen to the strangers and ran. I'm afraid she did remember. I'm afraid I lost her for good._

_He was with them. He's there now searching for her. It kills me that he can actually be the only one who can find her. And maybe he'll choose not to…I shake away the thought. I concentrate to look deeper into the distance. The light makes it hard. Maybe I'm imagining things but I think I see her._

_They close the distance so slow that my feet are restless and I can barely stop myself from running to meet them half way. It is her. A red hot poker hits my heart as I see her so close to him. Maybe he won't let go. I wouldn't…I think._

_I reach out to her and she follows my hand. A serene wave of joy calms my every worry. She's with me. I encircle her body, maybe too possessively. She smiles on my chest. I kiss her forehead and I'm utterly grateful. I must say something to Mamoru. But it's even more impossible when I imagine myself in his place. I settle with the obvious._

" _Arigatou. For bringing her back to me."_

_It sounds as bad as it feels. I would punch myself if I were him. But he's already ready to leave. I wonder where he gets his strength from._

_I find some comfort in the thought that he will be with her in another life. Comfort and pain also. For now, he doesn't need to know that. For now, she chose me._

###

Seiya wakes up grateful nobody found him while he was deep in revelry. He looks at his hand again.

"The glass…damn it. I've had enough "fun" here; guess it's time to go."

He sat up and looked at the couple one more time. The window was cold under his caressing fingers. And her face was so far in so many ways. Just when he was about to jump over the rail, he caught a movement with the corner of an eye and with senshi reflexes, he lifted himself up onto the roof.

Inside the room, Mamoru was restless and confused. Before he could think about the _dream_ he also had, he felt a calling.

He suddenly had the feeling he had to go…somewhere. He gently lifted Usagi and kissed her forehead.

"I'll be back as soon as possible. Rest." And with that, he left, jumping high from building to building, too concentrated on his destination to notice the shadowy figure above him.

"Mamo-chan…please don't go now," Usagi whispered in her sleep, troubled without him.

Seiya had the first vision of the man Mamoru was. Not just a human, simple man, meant to be king, but a warrior already. And in the cold morning air, he just could not understand how he could leave her. First in his dream and then this. So, deciding in a very personal way that she can't be alone right now, Seiya crept inside her room.

"Selfish and wrong," he thought. But her small shape called to him and he just couldn't stand it anymore.

Stepping over a toy on the floor, he smiled. "This is her. Innocent and sweet."

The light began to pour into the room and illuminate her face. And she was troubled, little wrinkles on her forehead. He stood next to her bed, hiding in the small darkness still existent in the room. Resuming his "sit and bang your head into the wall" position, he calmed her with his stare.

"I need to save you. I need it for myself. It's not right to live life thinking about the past and the future. It's here and now. It will be forever NOW for me."

The morning colors filed the room. In his mind, this picture should stay like this, frozen but warm in the same time.

"I want you next to me, for as long as I can. I have to believe that my mind isn't going crazy. All these … images I get in my head are not the figment of my imagination. I'm sure now. And I have to get some answers."


	10. Crooked destiny

Pluto was sure of her decision. After talking to Neptune and Saturn, she decided to make two more visits before she would return to the Gates of time.

She only hoped that her call was strong enough and the prince understood.

The discussion with the outer senshi was tense. But she was grateful that Uranus was late for it. Neptune and Saturn were much more reasonable. She explained them her premonition and they were as baffled as she was. They understood that she had to go back to the Gates of time and investigate.

The plan was for Neptune, Saturn and Uranus to keep an eye on Seiya Kou for now. From what she could understand, Seiya Kou was not a senshi anymore because she couldn't feel any star seed. But she did saw him in the future, in at least two lifetimes.

Her best assumption was that he became immortal. But she didn't have anything more than this assumption. So she had to return to her post. Of course, once there, she won't be able to return or receive anyone.

That's why, before she would leave, she had to speak to the prince. All the senshi agreed it was a good idea. He had to be close to Usagi and protect her, because they didn't know Seiyas' intentions in this lifetime. Any unplanned move could change the ultimate future of Cristal Tokyo.

By now, history was writing itself with every day. Something changed it and Pluto believed a part of the change was Seiyas' choice to stay on Earth. Only that…it wasn't enough. So, another major event had to happen. Maybe they will be able to prevent it.

Mamoru didn't stop to look back at Usagis' house. He felt the wave of pain and power next to Usagi's balcony on his way out, but thought that she was the cause. And he kept going, in pain himself, toward the strange calling in his mind. In his Tuxedo form, he prepared himself for anything. Something this powerful had to be…

"Sailor Pluto. You called for me…"

"My prince. There are important matters to be discussed."

He wasn't stupid. His mind made the connections in a fraction of a second. It was about Seiya and about his princess. And about his dream.

Sweat crept down his beautiful features. For the thousand times, he felt like he was going to lose the woman he adores.

Pluto was sure she did the right thing. Maybe Uranus promised Usagi they will say nothing about the night before, but the change Pluto saw was potentially devastating for all of them. The prince must know about the immortal man in love with the princess.

6 am.

A sharp pain went through Pluto brain even before she started to speak. She lost balance and fell.

"Pluto!" Mamoru caught her and looked into her frightened stare. She was pale and was staring at him with horror and despair. This was the other event that changed the future.

"Prince Endymion, Serenity-hime…the future…," was all the words she could utter before experiencing the pain of some ones travel through the Gates of time.

Because, inside her room, Usagi screamed her heart out.

The 6 am light made her voice almost tangible.

Seiya jumped from her side and almost crashed into the cold wall. When his eyes found her again, she was there but gone also. Instead of the small koneko figure, was a surreal…creature? And he couldn't decide if all that shine came from her or from the sunrise.

"H..Hello…I was just…I…leaving, I mean, returning this and then I …"

"It's so good to see you again …Seiya-kun. You look…mmm…the same. Yes, exactly the same."

Her sweet tone relaxed him. But her presence was overwhelming and soon he felt the need to get down on one knee. The way her eyes look beyond him makes him nervous, but she giggled just now…did she?

"Who…where is Oda…Usagi-chan?"

"…"

 _"There she goes again with the giggling. She's sweet. Hell! What' wrong with me. This person did something to Odango and I'm thinking about how perfectly close to an angel she is, just like…Wait a second!"_ Recoiling from the scare and surprise, Seiya remembered the talk he had with Haruka. This was the future form of Usagi. The queen.

"Serenity-hime!"

"Yes Seiya-kun. Finally. I've tried for ages to make you call me by my name. And now, when you say it…I kinda miss Odango."

Her surreal giggling made his heart tingle. And the way she looked at him made him wonder if, somehow, in the future _…"No way. She is sweet and warm, but this isn't the way she would react if I was her….How stupid of me. If she was my…, then the future where she is a queen doesn't exist."_

"In the future I hardly hear you say that nickname. Only with Small Lady sometimes. And I truly hope you tell her only good things about me."

"Small…Lady? In the future? " _What is she talking about? I'll be with her, in the future?"_

"And now, my daughters' birthday is coming and the celebrations for the decade of peace in the new Cristal Tokyo. And, because you are so important to her, I thought I could come back here and thank you for being such a good friend and protector. I'm not supposed to come and I bet Pluto will give me a hard time about it, but, since you will leave for your planet soon…"

"Leave?…"

"Yes…the fight with Chaos is over. Mercurys' calculation said it's over. Oh, I hope I'm in the right time and place."

_"Everything is so strange. What is she talking about? If she is the future Usagi, she should remember the last days. I guess my days here are numbered. Well, thank you for the insight."_

Seeing this queen doing calculation on her fingers was funny and it reminded him of her alright, but the news she brings are omen of a dark future for him. And the thought that today is the last day he will see her makes him tremble. But then again, if he should listen to this creature, in the future, somehow, he will be there, near her.

"Yes, you are in the right place and time." He said to her, without more details. _"If you don't remember anything more, I won't be the one to enlighten you."_

"Watashi ureshii desu! Luckyy. I will never doubt Mercury again. She sent me to the right place. Demo...I never expected the right place to be my old room..."

"Ano...Like I said, I'm here to return this communicator and then..."

"I don't remember you coming to see me. The last thing I remember is the rooftop and you going…"

"Well _…-I'm in trouble now-…_ I just came in a hurry and you are asleep, you see."

"Seiya-kun, sneaking into a girl room while she is asleep, you should be punished."

His face was now even redder than the sunrise. But the vibe around her said "tease", not "punishment". In a second, the ghostly figure was so close he could inhale her.

_"O..Odango…"_

"Seiya, in behalf of my daughter and myself, I want to thank you for everything. And I know that maybe I'm not doing the right thing, demo…I wanted you to know we will meet each other in the future, so leave with peace in your heart. But when the time comes to be with us I have a big favor to ask."

"Sereni…" _What does this future hold for me? How can I be at peace?_ He thought about asking her, but obviously she was in a terrible hurry for an answer.

"Ask me anything," he decided in less than a second, sure about the fact he'll do anything if it's important to her.

"Don't ever leave me."

He remained baffled and pale. The events of the last two days crept inside his eyelids and replayed so fast it made him wince. He was an easy prey for the headache.

###

_The inside of this was pure white and glowing. The crystal walls left the sunlight in and flowers replaced the air with perfume. I'm in a hurry. I have to tell her._

_I keep seeing images of her at every corner, running away from me like a shadow. I shouldn't do this but this might be my last chance. Uranus will try to kill me, that's for sure. She can go ahead. If this fails, I'll even want her to try._

_I see her in a big, dreamlike room. In the middle of this gigantic surrounding, she seems vulnerable and small and it reminds me of her in other lives. My determination returns with a kick. She must know._

_I walk slowly toward her and she's oblivious to my presence. She forgot how to feel my presence from the moment she was born in this life and she was meant to become Queen. It bothers me more than I let it show. She can feel her senshis, but not me. Never me._

_I decided I want to give her a choice away from her destiny, like I did before. She said yes sometimes. She might say yes again._

_I reach my hand to touch her. Only now she realizes she's not alone. But she is beautiful, even more so now. Maybe I'm imagining things because of my plan._

_I hear myself say her name. I sound like a scratched record. I shouldn't have stopped singing. I tell her I'm here to set her free, even if the others are never going to let be stay free after this._

_And I see her speechless mouth pulling into a smile. I hope again. For just a second, because her words take it away as fast as her smile gave it to me._

" _But I am free. And now, I'm complete."_

_I have no idea why, but the words scare me just as much as her calm features. She IS a ghost after all. She must be, because she seems to look right through me._

" _No…you're not. Listen to me! I'm here to remind you. Of me!"_

_I don't know what made her snap; my words or Endymions' footsteps. But she turned away from me and ran to him with her arms defensively placed. I'm confused. She takes his arm and they walk away._

_And maybe I was imagining that too, but I saw her eyes look deeply into mine. They were clouded with tears._

###

Seiya doesn't have the time to recover from his premonition. In front of him, Queen Serenity says the words that will mark his future.

"Don't ever leave us. No matter what. Promise me."

"I promise," he answers, but then, remembering the dream, he adds. "Only when you'll ask me too."

"Good. I have to go now. I hope I didn't cause the apocalypse in the future."

With her backing away, giggling, the morning felt cold and sad. And the wall he was backing into was like a refuge from all this new information that puzzled him even more.

"I'll see you …Seiya."

And the queen was gone. The restless small figure of present Usagi was back on her bed and his heart back in his stomach.

" _What now? I really messed up somewhere, didn't I?"_


	11. Raw porcelain memento

Seiya left Usagi's room before she woke up. He left the communicator and went aimlessly on random lines everyone calls streets. The air was thin but warm and the sun smelled like Usagi. Everything did, even confusion. And he had a lot of that.

He just witnessed an apparition. The queen of Cristal Tokyo, Serenity, stood in Usagi's room and thanked him for taking care of her daughter. Even before he did any of that, even before he met the small one. His mind was too weak to figure this out. He needed help to solve the event and to realize what he's supposed to do.

On the other side of the city, Pluto was slowly regaining her strength.

"Pluto, wake up! Wake up!"

"Prince. I am so sorry. I couldn't protect the time barriers. There is something of grave importance happening in the future."

"It's Serenity."

"It is. But I sense it is much more to this. I came here to tell you to beware of the starlight. He chose to stay on Earth and became a man. And he did it for..."

"I know why he did it Pluto. I come from Usagi. She told me parts of it. But not this part."

"I don't think she knows. Just now, my prince, I had a vision. His decision changed the future."

###

_Today the whole galaxy rejoices. The queen gave birth to a new star. The brightest so far and the hope for others to be born and remake this barren galaxy the most beautiful place in the universe._

_I can see the lights of celebration even from here, from my prison. On this sad planet from the limits of the solar system, I watch over the Gates of time. No one came to me for so long I even forgot how to speak._

_But at least the Crystal mirror of fate is calm now. And the Greater Destiny is set on the move with no disturbances._

_I think of peace to early. On the Mirror, a small ripple, like the one o leaf makes on water, catches my eye._

_I use the glaive to open the Mirror. She shows me the past and the future. And they are both disturbing._

_The young man is bruised and weak. But still, he managed to leave Earth. He's driven by such desire that he almost shines again like a star. He's headed to Saturn._

_I call upon other scenes in the Crystal Mirror of Fate. It's a battle. And not quite. Saturn is trying not to hurt the man. And he's trying with all his might to get hurt._

_His attacks are weak and hopeless, but he keeps going over and over. On his face, the determination to fight is surpassed only by the pleading thought to be killed._

_I don't have the time to see the end of the battle because someone approaches me. The little steps are enchanting, after so much time in silence. After a second of gratitude that someone broke the law and came to visit, I panic._

_It is the law: no one is allowed to come to the Gates of time on Pluto._

_I take a defensive position. The distant shadow in the long hallway has a deformed shape. I try to remember if I saw an enemy in Crystal Mirror. I didn't._

_And as my head spins with questions, the deformed shape becomes a little senshi form with a man in her arms._

" _Saturn."_

" _I had to bring him here. I'm sorry. I know the law, but I don't know what to do, because I don't want to kill him."_

_In her small arms, the man that was with us since the beginning. Seiya Kou. The man that I watched leaving Earth to find his death._

" _He's immortal. You won't kill him."_

" _We barely know the powers of my planet. I don't want to cause the queen this kind of pain. Not when she's so happy."_

" _Why did you come here?"_

" _You think I should have taken him to Earth? All the other planets are deserted now. Everyone is with the queen and her baby."_

" _I can't grant him access here."_

" _You have to decide …something. You have an understanding with him. If he truly wants to die, only you can grant him his wish and send him to limbo."_

" _I don't know if I can make that decision alone."_

" _He will try again. What he did."_

" _I know. Fine, leave him here and go on your way."_

" _I'll send your best wishes to the queen. I'm going to Earth."_

" _Wait. Take this and give it to the Small Lady. My present to her."_

_Pluto reached into the Mirror of Fate and took out a small, delicate object._

" _It's beautiful. The little one will love it."_

_Pluto didn't tell Saturn that what she gave to Chibiusa was in fact the only Time Key that will ever exist. The person who had it could travel in time and to the Gates of Time. But only if she knew the right words. And the words, for now, will be kept a secret._

_Seiya remained in the great halls outside the Gates of time for who knows how long. Time was different for the Time senshi._

_She stayed long hours trying to decide his fate, but the Mirror didn't show her anything._

_It was like that since Cristal Tokyo was born. Pluto sealed the Mirror so that no one could see into the past. This kingdom will be one of the future._

_But when she changed that, she couldn't see Seiya anymore if he wasn't with another senshi. Something both weird and incontrollable._

_But from that day, she was sure the future will be as planned. Now, everyone will remember only the Silver Millennium, the great empire, 20th century-the moment they came together again and Cristal Tokyo-the completion of their destiny._

_Only the important things._

_One day, Pluto heard loud knocks on the gates. He was there, looking better._

" _So, can I come in?"_

" _You may not."_

" _So you are still afraid of me. Who would have thought, after so many lives? Long time no see, by the way. You didn't change. I'm sure I didn't either."_

_His tone annoyed her. She remembered the times he tricked them and took Usagi away before they could awaken the others. She was aware he had no powers, but the determination and love he always had were strong enough to make him a threat._

" _I'm ready. For my end, for the weapon you have against an immortal."_

" _I'm not."_

" _I bet I can make you ready."_

" _It's not a good time. The queen is…"_

" _Shut up. I know. That's why I'm here."_

" _I'm not heartless. You did nothing wrong. You don't deserve it. The future is set. You're not a threat anymore. I'm not using the weapon."_

" _I bet I can change your mind. I can go back to Earth and tell a story to Serenity."_

" _You won't! Even if you will, she will never believe you. Only Saturn, Neptune, Uranus and I know the past. For the others, is lost forever. The Mirror of Fate will show no one you had a past with her."_

" _So you took precautions. You're even worst than I thought. You still treat her like a child and she's your queen. You don't deserve her."_

" _Quiet. It was the best thing to do. You are now only a protector, like us. You have your memories, be satisfied."_

" _YOU…"_

_He tried to strike with all the force he had. He failed, of course. Pluto only moved an inch and he was across the room. But he kept going. Another blow, another defensive hit from Pluto._

_She was trying too hard not to hurt him to see where he landed after the blow. He was close to the Mirror of Fate._

_She only had the time to say NO and his memories stared back at him from inside the Mirror. And he touched it. The image of HIS Odango, the times he had her near, the times she loved HIM. He felt blessed and mesmerized._

" _You touched the Mirror. The Mirror that no one ever touched but the senshi of time. What have you done?"_

###

Cold sweat made way onto his forehead, but his heart told him to trust his princess.

Pluto lingered with her prophecy.

"His stay won't change anything. I trust our love. And after he sees her happy now, with me, he will have to leave, or build a life of his own. We are meant to be together, Usako and me. She loves me."

"Yes, prince Endymion, she is your queen and you are the king in Cristal Tokyo."

"Then what is the great change?"

"The Starlight is there too. And there are things he can still change."

"How can that be?"

"He chose to be a man, without powers, but his princess made him immortal. He will remember every life and he will be near Serenity-hime in every one of them."

"She never tells him to leave…"

"The history is changing with every moment now. I have to get back to the Gates of Time. Because of what happened I can't come back. Not I and not anyone from the future. I will keep the gates closed so that the Circle of time can heal. Somehow."

"And if we need help?"

"Your lives will be peaceful now. Chaos will not prevail again. Have faith."

Pluto left in a trail of light. In the familiar park, Mamoru sits absentminded on the bench he knows so well. His blue eyes reflect the serene day ahead, another beautiful one on Earth. Anyone passing will say he's a nice young man waiting for someone. But his troubled mind can be seen on his hands. His every finger is buried in the bench's' wood.

Rei used all her fiery force to wake up Usagi.

"Sleeping head, it's a great day. Come on, you have some explanation to give us."

"Leave me alone Rei. I had a very bad dream."

"Us too. You disappeared for almost 2 days and we couldn't find you."

"You too? I had the exactly same dream."

Rei’s face dropped.

"It was real you baka! Now take a shower. The girls are waiting for us."

"Haruka and Michiru too?"

"No. We haven't seen them since after the battle."

Usagi thanked the heavens the bathroom was near. Rei couldn't have seen her tears. Once inside the small space, she released them all. It was real. Seiya who never left, and the time she spent in his room, and the kiss…She touched her lips. "They don't feel different." Then she touched her heart. "But this does."

She let the hot water flow but she didn't step into the shower. She just stood in front of the mirror until it was covered with steam and she couldn't see her face anymore.

"I slept in another man's room. I kissed him. I refused to call my friends. I chose not to call my love Mamo-chan. I let Seiya lie to me. I didn't tell him to go away. I asked Haruka, Michiru, Setsuna and Hotaru to lie for me. What else?..."

With every "sin", she traces a line on the mirror. They add up and with them all the other tears. Today, in the distant future, her daughter Chibiusa is celebrating her birthday.

"Happy birthday Chibiusa. If you are still there."

She's afraid her actions disturbed the future.

"But Setsuna said everything is ok. All I have to do is figure a way to tell the girls, it's not like I can use my powers to make them forget about these days…can I? No..no. Pff. Again with the headache. I just hope Mamo-chan understood. O, Mamo-chan. He was here last night. Reeiii!"

"What! What happened? Why are you still dressed? You're slow."

"Did you …I was alone when you came here?"

"What is that suppose to mean? Of course you were."

"O. Ok then."

"Hey Usagi, what do you mean. Wait a second."

"I have to take my shower. See you in a bit. _He left. Why?"_

In another part of the city, Seiya reconsiders his decision to visit the Outers house.

"This is really crazy. I'm going from crazy to extremely suicidal crazy in hours. I wonder if this is the kind of life earth people life every day."

He stands there and realizes Haruka is the last person willing to help him and the first able to …not kill, but make him go through a lot of physical pain. But also, she can shed light into this crazy matter.

"Haruka, are we expecting someone?"

"No. I'll get it."

Haruka opens the door and finds Seiya standing there looking troubled.

Michiru had the time to tell the story Pluto told them to Haruka. Of course, Haruka already knew Seiya is immortal. But he didn't expect him to follow Usagi over so many lives. For Haruka, this was going to be a complicated situation.

"Seiya! I said we were bounding but I don't intend to get steady with you. Ever."

"Funny. Funny is good. I need help."

"And what in the heavens name gave you the idea I'll ever help you?"

"You know Usagi. Now and in the future."

"So?"

"I kinda got the opportunity to meet her future self today."

"Are you drunk?"

"I hoped so myself, but no. I saw Queen Serenity."

"…Wait in the café over there. I'll come down in a minute."

The door slammed into his face. But he didn't have any bruises yet and that was encouraging.

"Michiru, do you know where Pluto is? I need to talk to her face to face. About Seiya."

"No, she left last night. Maybe Hotaru knows. Hotaru!"

"Yes?"

"Did Setsuna tell you where she is going?"

"No. But this morning I got the feeling she went back to the Gates of time."

"You heard that Haruka. She's back to her post. What is it about him? You need help?"

"I need you to trust me. I think I know what changed the future. Pluto said it was his choice but something other than that too. I'm about to find out everything. I don't know the details yet, but we'll talk later."

"I have to go to a meeting with the girls at the temple later. I'll see you then?"

"Maybe. I'll call you."

"Be careful Haruka."

"You haven't said that to me in a while…I love it when you worry. Even if you know perfectly well I can handle anything."

"Oh, that I know."

With Michiru's smile on her mind, Haruka went to see Seiya.

Inside the café people mind their business. Haruka can't help to think that if it wasn't for them, all these people would be dead. In the corner, emitting a faint wave of emotion was Seiya. Haruka's first instinct was to crack a tea cup into his hard head. But then again, she can do that later.

"I'm here. Be brief."

"After you left my apartment last night I went to see Odango."

"I'll kill you."

"Try. Anyway, I stood there a while, and after Mamoru left I got into her room …"

"Stop talking if you value you life."

"I went in to leave her communicator. She forgot it at my place. She was asleep. I didn't wake her. But then in her place appeared this beautiful creature. I realized she was queen Serenity from what you told me about the future.

She started to say I was the way she remembers me and that she is here to thank me in behalf of her daughter and her. And she told me we will meet in the future, but then the last thing she remembers about me is me leaving with my princess after the fight with Galaxia. And that's all."

"You're lucky this is so strange, because I was ready to test your immortality."

"What do you think happened?"

"I tried to find Pluto but she left. She might have told us something useful. But come to think of it, maybe this is exactly why she left."

"What do you mean? Where did she go?"

"Back to her duty of keeping the Gates of time protected. And she left because it seems the future changed."

"You're telling me this wasn't the way the future was? I thought at some point you all lied telling me I'm not a part of her future."

"No, we didn't lie. You weren't."

"So, now what?"

"I need to think. I can't think in here. How are you with bikes?"

"I'm a superstar…"

"You were…some say."

"Anyway…I have a lot of skills. Why?"

"Try to keep up with me while I think. Come on, let's take the bikes. You're sure that you are sober?"

Seiya mumbled a few words but followed Haruka. His head was about to explode. He hated not knowing everything. The only reason he decided to tell Haruka was because he hopped he'll make her tell the truth.

He hopped that the truth was he was in Usagi's future all along. That it was HIS destiny to come and stay on Earth. Now, with Haruka just as confused as he was, he was glad he "let out" the detail about the "dreams" he keeps having.

Seiya hated not being in control. And that's exactly where he was now.


	12. Serendipity frontier

Usagi took her time in the shower. After annoying Rei with her snail style, they walked together to Rei's temple.

"While you were in the shower I called Michiru and the outers and they will come to the meeting. Well, not so much a meeting. Just, I guess we have to talk about something else than battles. So…Usagi-chan, you're pretty weird. What happened to you these days? We couldn't reach you. I told the girls you are tired from all that's been happening, but I know there's more."

"You saw that in the fire?"

"No, but I'm your friend."

Usagi took a few steps in silence and then stopped. The thought about telling someone was compelling, but Rei, to hear about Seiya, not so much. It was obvious that at some point she will have to tell the others that Seiya remained on Earth alone. But she still hadn't figured out the best way to tell the news without lying. And Seiya didn't help with that.

"I will tell you about these days Rei, I promise. But not now. Trust me."

"Fine, but the others will ask questions too."

The fact that Haruka and the outers knew everything and that they will be at the meeting today wasn't calming. She needed to say something today. After all, it shouldn't be so complicated. She saw Seiya on the street the other day, he collapsed, she helped him and then came back home. Simple, right? It only leaves the problem of the billion details that somehow everybody can see in her eyes.

"I wonder where Seiya is right now."

"We're here."

"Usagi-chan!"

"Usagi!"

After breaking the speed limit multiple times, Haruka and Seiya stopped at the lighthouse. It was one of Haruka's favorite places.

"Any thoughts Haruka?"

"Yea. You're slow."

"And you're a girl."

"No, I mean on the bike. And me being a girl is just a supplementary insult to you. Now, about this story of yours, I'll try to contact Pluto. We have some kind of a distress signal and I'll be able to contact her. Wait here."

Haruka transformed into Uranus and looked like frozen on the cliff. Not knowing how long the wait is going to be, Seiya found a bench and sat down to rest. He didn't remember the last time he sat down and felt rested.

The Earth is beautiful, that's true. The air and the sound of the sea made him forget for a second that in two days he went though all stages of madness.

"Relaxing, isn't it?"

Seiya jumped like the senshi he once was, forgetting that now he was just a man. And that made his jump a little painful. But scarier was the sight. Two paces away from the bench was Tuxedo Kamen. Mamoru.

"Mamoru-san!" . _"Ok, what now?"_ His mind was racing. But all the sleep deprivation left a mark and he just couldn't think straight.

"Seiya-kun, hello! Relax. I followed you here to talk, not fight."

"So Usagi told you about the last few days."

"Yes. Parts of them. Pluto filled in the blanks. I hope you can complete the puzzle."

"I have a puzzle of my own."

"I'll start, if you agree. Then maybe I can help with yours."

"I agree."

"The only thing I know about you is that you helped Usagi when I was…when I couldn't. You are in love with her and we said goodbye to the four of you a few days ago.

Last night, Usagi called me and made the "Seiya stayed for me" part clear. I know you were sick and she was with you. And I know that somehow you are now part of our future."

"You know?"

"Yes, that is what Pluto told me. Please, tell me a little bit more about your time here, so I can understand why she would choose to change our future for you."

A small sense of pride overtook Seiya. In front of this man, that felt a little bit wrong, but what the hell.

"We came here, my brothers and I, to find our princes. That was the mission. But I met Oda…Usagi, and I found out she was Sailor Moon. I wanted for us to help each other but the others didn't think it was a good idea.

But anyway, I believed in her and in her light. After we found our princes, the battle with Galaxia started. And one by one, the senshi fell. My brothers and I protected Sailor Moon, but she did a great job and saved us all with her love. That's it."

"Great summary, but completely useless. I asked about your time here to try and understand why you choose to stay and why Usagi somehow changed the future and now you're in it."

"I…"

"I can understand love. But you were a woman senshi."

"I'm a man!"

Seiya's flammable character made his appearance. Mamoru, mature and diplomatic, understood the mistake. He had no intention to insult the light. All he wanted was to understand. Clear things don't scare him. Doubt and uncertainty does.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. And I know about your choice to be a man and the curse to be immortal and without powers."

"Then you know about as much as I do. I came here with Haruka hopping she can help me understand this better."

"And THIS is…"

"You know the part about me choosing to be a man. Yes, I stayed here for Usagi. I always was independent in heart and after all I felt here on Earth, I couldn't leave. But I had no idea that this decision changed the future.

Queen Serenity "visited" me this morning to thank me for something I didn't do or I imagine doing. She said something about your daughter and then left. And I'm here waiting for Haruka to come back from the Gates of Time or something like that."

Seiya told the story conveniently omitting that he saw Serenity while in Usagis' room, and he had constant "dreams" about her that looked very much like the future.

Mamoru listened to everything and took a long pause. Seiya's muscles started to twitch.

"I know about the visit too. I told you, I'm trying to understand why she would do that. For you."

Seiya lost his words, maybe for the best.

"Oh. And that reminds me. Haruka won't be able to contact Pluto. She told me she will keep the Gates of time sealed from now on. It's her duty; I doubt she'll let Uranus in. Hm. It's somewhat strange this all situation."

"It is."

The girls finally made it to Reis' temple.

"I understand you're a sleepy head, but not even you can sleep for 2 days Usagi"

"Ami…don't tell me I missed a cram session cause I'll go back to sleep."

"Well…"

"No, no…you didn't. We were just worried. And we have all the malls waiting and the sun is shining and everything. We missed you."

"Arigatou Minako-chan."

"Speaking about malls…let's make this a little bit less of a meeting a more of a shopping spree."

"As soon as Michiru, Setsuna, Haruka and Hotaru get here."

"They are late. And I'm hungry."

"I have some snacks Minako."

"Makoto, you are a goddess."

The girls seemed to forget that Usagi was missing for some time and just came together to laugh and enjoy the sun. Even Usagi forgot for a few moments. A knot in the stomach reminded her not that she was hungry, but that Haruka and the outers will arrive in minutes. And she hasn't seen them since last night, in Seiyas' apartment.

After a few tries, Haruka gave up. It wasn't her style, but she could feel Mamorus' light close and she hoped he can clear this story. And to be honest, she feared the two of them together.

"Prince."

"Haruka. I was about to come and get you. Pluto told me this morning she will seal herself behind the Gates of time. It's no use trying to contact her. And I think I can answer some questions."

"So you know."

"Yes, as much as Seiya told me. The part that I know is that starting with his decision to stay, and my …Queens' Serenity decision to come to the past, the future changed. Not dramatically, from what Pluto told me, but changed in a way she didn't predict."

Seiyas' mind started to wander. This man had the answers, but those answers didn't seem to bother him so much. So maybe those weren't the answers Seiya was hoping for.

"What happens in the future Prince?"

"Pluto saw only the change. But the development of the things from now on will be hidden from us, because no one will be able to travel throw the Gates of Time."

"Not even Small Lady?"

"No. I regret that the most. And more so because the change in the future is tied to her also."

"How is that?"

"You see Seiya, in Cristal Tokyo, you are my daughters' friend and protector."

"What? That was what she…"

"Yes. That is why this morning Serenity came to thank you. And by doing it, she put in motion the new future. Well, her choice to travel to the past and you choice to stay on Earth combined, actually."

"Your daughters' protector…"

"So I suppose I should thank you too. Even if you haven't done anything yet."

His mind was swirling. Seiya felt as if his future was one of pain. He couldn't imagine being there for all the moments Usagi and Mamoru would have. And not in a million years he could see himself near their daughter. His heart hurt. More so because of the prince in front of him, who was saying Thank you?

"I have to go."

"That went nice."

"Haruka, it's strange for me too. I think I have an idea about what he's feeling."

"No Prince, I don't think you do. I don't know what he told you, but this news surely weren't good news. To be immortal and near the person you love more than anything and then end up as the guardian of her daughter with another man, that's cruel even by my standards.

And Prince…he does love her. He fought for her and her life with his every breath. He is stupid but he won't do anything to hurt her."

"Somehow, I know. I can feel it. He has a strange energy. But he's not a senshi anymore.'

"The energy you feel is from his memories I think."

"From the memories?"

"We all have a special aura after we remember. He was cursed with immortality and he will life near us forever, without being able to forget."

"That must be so hard. I know we had to forget so many things in order to live. For him it will be hell."

"Yes, it will."

"I wonder why Usagi accepts him close all this time. I'm sure she has no intention in causing him pain."

"She doesn't know. She knows he has no more senshi powers, but she doesn't know he's immortal. She must think that eventually he will…I don't know, leave. "

"He should tell her. She's clueless again, about …everything. I'm heading for the temple. I hope she'll be there."

"Prince? Don't say anything about…"

"I won't. It's his choice, even if it affects OUR future. We'll talk later Uranus."

"Yes Prince."

After Mamoru left, Haruka grabbed the bike and caught Seiya on the road. With a pro maneuver she made him stop.

"What? Are you insane? You could have…"

"What? Kill you?"

"Stop smirking. I can't die, but you can."

"Relax. I just wanted to know how you are now that you know how you fit in Usagis' future."

"So we ARE pals. Thanks but no thanks. I said enough. And that stupid future it's not for me. I can't understand it and I won't live by it. That's your way, not mine."

"And what is your way?"

"For now, north. After that, it's none of your business."

"Don't provoke me. Usagi doesn't know the entire story. And if you want her close, IF she ever forgives you…"

"Don't you dare say something to her! It's my choice."

"It's strange how much you and the prince are alike. He could be a better friend for you than me."

"Did you say something?"

"I was thinking out loud. But about Usagi, you should tell her. She has the right to know. And I'm responsible for her."

"If you say something to her…"

"No threats. Be careful what you say."

"Oh but I'll say it. If you dare say something before I have the chance, I'll make you regret it."

"Stop talking alien!"

"I'm done. But remember this Haruka. That story about the future…it's far away. And I am here now, near her."

"You just signed your death warrant," Haruka replied, out of her minds.

"I wish,' Seiya retorted, prepared for the attack. It was like in his dream; the outers will try to stop him. But he will fight. And at some point, Usagi will be by his side.

"Mamo-chan! I knew you will come. I had a feeling. We're connected again."

"Yes, we are. Come here. I hope I didn't scare you by leaving this morning."

"Just a little. Why did you go? You heard Rei?"

"No. I left much earlier. I needed some time."

"So you were upset."

"Oh, no Usako. It's not that. I felt someone calling and I met Pluto."

Usagi felt panic. Seeing him on the steps of the temple made her calm. He was calm. Even happy. She loves the way he moves. And having him close made her forget about this morning, when she woke up without him. But now, she feared Pluto and her predictions.

"And…what did she say?"

"Nothing bad, I promise. From what she could see, the future is calm. But she had to go to the Gates of Time."

"Why?"

"There are changes in the future Cristal Tokyo. Not bad changes. Just that from now on nobody will be able to pass the time barrier."

"And Chibiusa?'

"We will see her in the future. She is happy. I am too. Are you happy Odango?"

"I…yes Mamo-chan, I'm happy. Very happy."

He took her in his arms and started to think about why he couldn't tell her the story from beginning to end. Was Seiyas' right to tell the story?

"Come on Mamo-chan. The girls are waiting for us. And maybe by now Haruka and the outers are there too. We will be all together." _Except Seiya. He won't be there._

"Go ahead. I'll go take my car and I'll see you there. At the coffee shop? Or do you want me to take you there and then go get my car?"

"Oh no, it's a beautiful day. I'll walk. And probably you'll get there faster."

He loved her giggle. Everything seemed ok now. There were a few problems to solve, but nothing impossible. Usagi was his queen and all the gaps in the story will fill themselves in the end.

Usagi took small steps. She was happy. Inside her heart, having Seiya here was a joyful feeling. But all the reasons for him staying were head-twisting hard.

"Usagi-chan!"

"Michiru? Hotaru?"

"Jump up. I assume you're going to the café. We'll take you."

"Mmm. I told Mamo-chan I'll go in a walk there. He offered to drive me too."

"Come on, come with us. We don't want you to get lost."

"Ok."

Across the street from the coffee shop, after Michiru parked the car, she had to talk.

"How are you Princess?"

"Me? Fine. You? Haruka? I hope she doesn't have any bruises; I assume Seiya is alive too."

"He is. And will be for a very long time. Did you see him?"

"Not after last night."

"Good."

"Good? What's wrong? I was thinking to look for him and apologies for the scene o caused. I found out he's not a senshi anymore. And that could explain the sickness. But then again…"

"Yes?"

"Did Haruka told you what they talked about last night, inside his room? I know it's terribly rude to ask…"

"They talked about…many things. You know many of them."

"Like how he lied to me?"

"What?"

"I heard it through the door. He said he confesses and that he lied to me. Is that true?"

"No. That was not the context. He didn't fake it."

"Then…what did he lie about?"

Usagi was looking at her hands. Playing with her fingers seemed easier than asking Michiru with so much hope what Seiya lied about. And maybe Michiru will say that Seiya lied when he said he stayed for her.

"He lied…" Inside Michirus' mind the battle started. It was their mission from Pluto to keep Seiya away, but Haruka wasn't back yet and she couldn't decide on her own what to say.

Maybe Seiya deserved to be made a liar in front of Usagi. But then again, maybe she didn't deserve it. Or that will make things easier for both of them?"

"Usagi-chan, he lied about his future here."

"I don't understand."

"He will stay near you forever. Pluto told us that he's a part of your future now."

"What?"

She almost lost the sense in her feet. Her ears were ringing the name Chibiusa and questions above questions haunted her.

"Stay calm. It's not what you…think right now."

"Not…what…I…think?"

"No. If it were, he would be dead. In the future, he is the protector and friend of Small Lady."

Her big eyes become bigger by the second. That's not a bad future, she thinks. That's the question to all her fears. She can have him near, but not …like that. She is happy. Truly happy now.

"Michiru, I'm so happy! But how is that possible? And why now? Oh. We can all be together and wait for this beautiful future as allies and friends and I have to go talk to him and tell him all about it and…"

"You caused the change somehow yesterday and he did it by choosing to stay. But it's not that simple for him."

"What?"

"He knows everything; you don't have to tell him. Even now he tries to understand. And it's more complicated. He gave up more than his powers for this future."

"Hotaru…what are you saying?"

"He…"

"Michiru-san, Hotaru-chan, Usako. Why don't we go in? Now," the tone in Mamorus' voice was one of a king.

"Yes prince. I'm sorry Usagi-chan."

"Michiru, Hotaru, wait. Tell me!"

"Usako. Come on. Everybody is waiting. Please, it's rude to stay out here."

She had the feeling she was missing something big. But Mamoru was right. It was rude to keep everybody waiting. So she ran inside, leaving Mamoru and the two outer senshis to have one more word exchange.

"Don't."


	13. Pyrrhic victory

Haruka hit so fast, Seiya had no time to react. His slower instincts annoyed him. But he had to make his point clear. No one but him could tell the story to Usagi. He had the chance to make her see she chose him too. At least, she chose to make him stay near her. The thought gave him strength. In his hand, Harukas' arm seemed small enough. So he twisted it and sent the senshi flying into a near wall.

"I should be the one to tell her. You know that."

"I know what Pluto told us. You should stay away. The future is still very unpredictable. You…even more so. And it's my concern what you say to my princessss about you."

"I'll tell her the truth. If she lets me. I don't even know why you're so worried. Maybe she won't agree to see me."

The grip on Haukas' arms became tighter after the words. Seiya had stopped his attack, but kept Haruka with the back against the wall. The wind senshi wasn't interested in fighting back because the wind was telling her something.

Sure enough, the wind didn't mislead her. Behind Seiya, like an apparition, translucent and tall, stood Pluto, the senshi Haruka never thought she will see again.

"Release her."

Seiya jumped defensively back at the sound of the voice. He remembered it from his dream and he knew it meant trouble. He was face to face with a powerful senshi, the very one who, in his dreams, seems to fight his chances with Usagi.

"You. I thought you left. To find a way to stop me, I presume."

"I had to see you before returning to the Gates of time. We need to talk."

"See me…see Mamoru-kun and maybe Usagi too. Right?"

"Yes, I saw the prince. He had to know."

"Mhm, but I know more."

"I do too."

The confident and somewhat sad reply puzzled Seiya. When he said he knew something more, he was talking about his "dreams". Thinking that someone else, the Senshi of time, knew about it too made them even more real than he hopped.

But also, he realized he lost the advantage. If Pluto knew, it was bad. But she'll be gone soon and she didn't speak to no one else but the prince. From what he understood, the part about him being near Usagi in every lifetime was left out by Pluto and the prince was clueless.

But if Haruka witnessed this conversation, he'll meet his greatest enemy. That wasn't a good idea for too many reasons.

Reacting like she read his thoughts, Pluto turned to Haruka.

"Uranus, please meet the others. They are having a reunion lunch and Usagi-chan seems to be rather nervous about your absence. Please, let her feel at ease and tell her the reasons I had for leaving. She must be very worried about that too.

"Fine. But if there's more to him, you must tell us. Let us know, so we can …protect her."

"Of course," Pluto reassured and Haruka was gone in a flash, glaring at the man slightly feeling unease next to the Time senshi.

"I know you saw me. In her future. And I know it's more than the protection I give to her daughter in this kingdom they await for. I'm intrigued that you said nothing to the others. Not even to your prince. You have some nerve. As a soldier myself, I would have never hidden anything from my liege."

"It's for …"

"…their own protection. I know that excuse. Actually, it's fear. You find out something and you run to the Gates of time, trying to stop anything outside your master plan."

"I can't interfere with destiny. I can only watch. My Queen left me instructions when she used the crystal to save us all millennia ago. It's my burden…"

"…and your advantage. No matter. I still wonder what you saw. I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

Pluto was getting tired of him. She began to understand with each minute that he'll be a great threat. And her plan seemed even more important to succeed.

"I saw you and our princess. In another life. Together."

"And in love. You forgot to say in love."

"Yes. She seemed to love you."

"So you know the future is not the one you hoped for."

"I only know our princess made other decisions between this life and the one where she's crowned Queen. But THAT future is not that different. She'll choose our prince. She'll light the galaxy with life, giving life to Small Lady."

"Yes. So far, maybe nothing changed in THAT future. But started changing in every other future and I saw it from the moment I tried to leave. I know she'll be with me by her own choice. And I know you lie to her. And I know that's wrong and she doesn't deserve it."

His anger rose and made him look like the fighter he once was. He felt nauseated by all these lies the senshi were telling her. But also, he now knew Pluto was aware of the future he saw in his dreams. It was real, but it was a struggle.

"So you don't leave for good. I saw you in one of my…premonitions."

"Rarely, in the most serious cases. I saw you too in one of my premonition."

"So now we're at war."

"We don't have to be. I pray you'll understand what I'm about to tell you."

"Threats?"

"No. Like I said a plea. If you love her, you must do this. For both of you."

Back at the coffee shop, Haruka made her way inside. From across the room, she felt Usagis' aura above all others. The princess was restless.

"I'm sorry I'm late. I had so business to take care of."

"I hope your business is still breathing Haruka," Michiru replied in very low voice and Haruka glanced at her.

Usagi seemed to think the same thing from the look in her eyes. So Haruka regretted even the small excuse she gave and started to blend in the conversation.

They were talking about Galaxia, about the way home of so many star seeds. Wondering if they made it there, where ever "there" was, and if now the galaxy was full of life again. And Usagis' thoughts drifted to him again. Wondering if he will go back home now, how he'll fell, how she'll fell, what was the whole story. And above all, why was everybody still treating her like a child.

Under the table, she squeezed her fists and stared at her full plate.

Mamoru slowly put a hand over hers and caressed her cold skin. He closed the gap between them and whispered into her ear.

"He's fine. I'll tell you everything. I promise."

His words meant he knew EVERYTHING. But the fact he was going to tell her made her feel a wave of love and comfort. Still, she felt a little strange about not telling the girls Seiya was still here. She had to talk to him eventually. And maybe it all made sense, she hoped. Her dreams shattered the moment she looked up at Haruka. She was tense and somehow accusing.

"Pluto left us. She returned to the Gates of time, to her post, and she will remain there. But she did let us a final premonition. We'll have no more enemies," Haruka said and looked straight to Usagi as she rephrased – "…dark enemies from now on. She advises us to live happy and enjoy life. I must add you all did a wonderful job."

Haruka told the words in a completely neutral tone, except for the emphasis on the "enemy" part. Usagi was more and more confused. She hopped Haruka and the others will understand Seiya. Especially after the battle. But she missed something and she needed to know what.

"Why don't we meet tomorrow at Rei's temple? I bet we are all still tired. This kind of battle leaves a mark."

"You haven't even eaten you dessert," Minako noticed.

"Not so hungry. But I am sleepy," she said, thinking it wasn't a lie. She would sleep for hours, even days now.

"Ok then. Can you come tomorrow too, Haruka, Michiru, Hotaru-chan?" Rei asked with curiosity. She saw the others for the first time now since they died. And they said so little. She felt something was of, but put it on the truth of Usagi's words "They were tired", all of them.

"Maybe. We'll see you then."

"Haruka…can I talk to you?"

Remembering Pluto's message, Haruka agreed. She was having a hard time keeping an objective view on things. It was hard to think that her princess was the one to blame for this new crisis.

"Maybe I should stay too."

"Oh, Mamo-chan. I didn't mean you should leave. I'm sorry for…"

"Stop saying sorry. I love you. I'm here for you. And it's not that bad, you'll see."

"Haruka, it this true?"

"Yes. Pluto said not to worry, the future is safe. You won't be able to see Chibiusa from now on, but other than that…"

"Michiru said…"

"Seiya Kou is the new element in the future."

"I know that too. Michiru told me. But she also said he gave up something to be with…us."

"Usako, maybe it will be better if he told you himself."

"I don't know if he'll talk to me."

"He thinks the same thing about you. Can't you see? You were the one preaching about trust. He didn't lie to you back then. You should talk to him. But after that…"

"Haruka!" Mamoru stopped Haruka before she could say the words. He had the feeling that between the outer senshi and Seiya it was war. He didn't like it.

Of course, he doesn't know the whole story. And Haruka only knows that Seiya will be close to Usagi in every lifetime, not that he succeeds in making her love him.

Wind was louder than their voices. Pluto and Seiya seemed to both wait for something. Maybe a signal to make them attack, maybe a shadow to make them disappear.

"You have to know the story before you commit to chase her and try to change her destiny."

"More stories? Haruka told me one. I'm not impressed."

"You're a fool. Not even they know her true destiny. The Greater Destiny set in motion by the dark forces attack, back in Silver Millennium, when her mother was the queen of the Moon."

"You're full of surprises. I wonder what Haruka would say about you keeping them blind."

"Would you just listen…please? This is not about lies and interference. I suffer the most, but this is MY fate. And I do try to protect them. All of them and the entire solar system."

The pain on her face was real. For the first time, Seiya saw her vulnerable and almost unsure of herself. She squeezed her hand around her glaive as to get power and started pleading with her old, all-knowing look.

"You're going to smother another part of me and her. Go ahead," Seiya said, waiting for new obstacles.

"Like I said, this is not about you, or her, or us. It's about an inexplicable number of lives all across our solar system. Usagi has a destiny set in stone, because only she can give live to our planets again."

The words struck leaving him breathless. He lived with the thought others made the choices for her, for a future they considered better. But she was responsible for the Solar system, not only her life.

"What? That can't be true."

"In Silver Millennium, when she was born, Serenity was the brightest soul in our solar system. She was the light we awaited. When our enemies attacked, they destroyed our planets before they got to the Moon. My queen gave her life to keep them and Earth alive. And she gave me my mission. To look after them, and make sure the Rebirth will happen.

"Rebirth?"

"The day the dark forces attacked, Princess Serenity was supposed to choose a destiny and receive the Silver Crystal. Instead, she chased her love. Endimyon was her choice and she followed him into death. The queen saved them both and put in their love the power to rebuild the empty solar system, destroyed by evil. Today, all the planets are barren: Mars, Mercury, Pluto…all of them.

My queen died seeing the future when her daughter and the prince of Earth will become hope for us. Crystal Tokyo, the future we all await, doesn't mean a better life for us. It means life on our planets again."

"Such heavy wings on her…"

"Yes. It's the burden of a true ruler."

"Why don't you tell her? She'll do anything to help. Even …"

"Yes, she would do anything. Even leave you forever. But you see, the condition is for her to become queen with all her love for the king of Earth. Earth is the only planet with life. The only one still alive. And she must choose this love not bound by a destiny or hope. She must choose him with all her heart."

"So why did you tell her it was her destiny to be with him in the first place. You should have kept your mouths closed. Even I can see they love each other. She would have made it without feeling so strongly bound by this stupid idea of destiny."

"I had to make sure."

"You don't have much faith, do you?"

"I crave to see my planet and the others full of life again. It's not easy to be the only one left on a planet. I am Sailor Pluto, but I am the protector of an empty rock of a planet. The same is with the others. Only she can give us live back."

"And only if she's with him."

"Yes. He's the spirit of the Earth, a planet full of life. His power is the greatest. He is life. And she is love. Only together they will fulfill the prophecy and restore life in the Solar System. That is why we protect them and this planet with all our might."

"After all, she has no choice. I have no hope. So why do I see this images of us in the future?"

"You came from outside our solar system. Nobody saw you, no one could have known. She's confused. And we can't allow that when we are so close."

"I don't want to kill life on your planets even before it's born. But I…I…"

"You love her."

"I love her. I'm not a prince or anything but, I thought I was enough. If I saw the things I saw…you know I can't give up. Because you told me in the end she'll be his Queen. But I still hope for the time in between."

"I can't let you divide her love like you divide her image. When she went missing a few days ago, we couldn't see her until she transformed, because you divide her light. If you keep up, we will have to stop you."

"You can't interfere, remember?"

"But I can do something. I'm here to offer you that something. We all made sacrifices. You will have to do one too. For her. For us."

Seiya thought about giving up. His arms felt warmth and his heart reacted to a memory of her beside him.

"I can't give her up."

"You won't have to."

"What?"

"You can have your lives with her, if she chooses you. But with one condition."

"I feel like I'm selling my soul to the …"

"It's a sacrifice, not a punishment."

"And what do I have to do."

"You have to let me seal her memories in the Mirror of Fate. When she'll sleep and wake up to become queen of Crystal Tokyo, she has to know nothing about you. Ot her, not any of the them."

"Forget about me? Completely?"

"No, she will still remember this life. But she'll believe you left after the battle with Galaxia."

"She already believes that."

"What?"

"When she came to me, from the future, to thank me, she didn't remember the moment. I didn't tell her."

"Then you say Yes to my request."

"I do? I make a deal to live near her when she chooses me and then, even if I remember everything, always, she'll forget?"

"They will all forget."

"Not me."

"I'm sorry."

"How can you be sure I won't tell her?"

"I do have faith, even if you see none. And, if you decide to tell her someday, I'll send you to the limbo. You are immortal, but the limbo is a state of dream, deeper than anything. You'll never return."

"So you do have a weapon against me."

"Not one I'm willing to use."

"For now. But if it's there a chance she'll remember…"

"She won't remember. Even if you tell her. Even if we all tell her. The only way she could remember is to touch the Mirror of Fate after you touched it. And none of you will ever be near the Mirror. It's sealed in my domain, at the gates of time. No one ever saw it. No one can come near it."

"Never say never."

"So tell me immortal, what do you decide?"

"I told you I'm not giving her up. And the future you talk about is far away. So I agree. Try to seal her memories when it comes to it. Until then…"

"This doesn't mean we'll let you interfere. Just that, as in my dream, sometimes she'll find you before us."

"She will."

"Then it is set."

"Listen, why did you have to ask me? Why didn't you just do it?"

"You may think I'm cruel, but I care for her and the others deeply. It breaks my heart every day to stand in front of that Mirror and see the past and the future. I won't hurt her or any other by changing destinies."

"It looks to me that you kind of do. That much power…"

"I know…Someday, I'll be released from my duty. It's the day I live for. My queen trusted me with this burden, so I'll carry it the best as I can."

"I have to talk to her."

"Yes. She's waiting for you."

Usagi _was_ waiting for him. After talking to Haruka and Mamoru, things didn't get a lot clearer. She already knew Seiya wasn't a senshi anymore. The news that he'll be near her and Chibiusa brought even more confusion. And the talk about him lying ….another headache.

She was sitting in front of his door, with a small fist in the air, as to knock. She's been sitting like this for minutes and still she made no sound. Behind that door, was the man she realized she had feelings for. And after realizing that, she found out the future changed. It was terrifying.

The trembling wasn't a side effect of the indecision; it was real, accompanied by heart beatings and unsteady feet. To look in his eyes again…

"Odango…"

Her heart stopped altogether and the hand fell to her side and she didn't have the power to stop so she faced him.

He just passed around her, opened the door, and waited for her to step inside.

In the twilight, their shadows reached for each other on the walls.

Towering the small figure, Seiya felt years have passed since he saw her. She had dark circles under her eyes and she was biting her bottom lip. Unable to start a conversation, maybe the most important yet, he reached a hand to her lips and stopped her from ruining them.

The touch exploded in thousands of feelings and warmed the room. And the too familiar headache took him by surprise.

###

_I'm touching her cheek and the feeling of it makes me wonder if I'm allowed now, after what she told me._

_She looks at me with those wonderful eyes and her words keep me from falling._

" _They came for me today, yes…but I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving you Seiya."_

_They found her. And she ran to me. She hugs me so tight I breathe only her perfume. My fingers run on her skin, desperate to hold her to her word. She won't leave me. She can't now. She's so close to me anyone could mistake us for one, not two people._

" _Why didn't you tell me?"_

_My mouth burns searching for excuses. Can any word send her away? What did they told her?_

_She kisses my neck and my answer becomes clear. All this time I thought she'll see me as the second choice if she found out about him. But now, she knows and she's kissing my neck, waiting for me to answer a question, not an accusation._

" _I didn't tell you because I know my love is enough to keep you shining. But I was wrong. They did the same and I told them they were wrong. I should have told you everything."_

" _Do you trust me Seiya?"_

" _I love you so much."_

" _But do you trust my love?"_

" _I…"_

" _How can you live with me and not know?"_

_She pushes her body deeper on my skin and I curse my hesitation. I trust her love. For him, or for me, her love is the strongest force I know. She moves her head as to say no and the motion warm my chest. I catch her face and make her look at me._

_She looks just like she did when she came to me before the last concert. Only that she's in my arms and when she's here, I swear she'll never have sadness in her eyes._

" _I'll carry you off right after your transformation,"I try to make a bad joke._

" _You won't have too. Even as Serenity, I'll choose you."_

" _Those wings will be so heavy on you. I've seen them before. Your destiny will be clearer and your heart will search for him, not me. I've seen it before…I've seen it…"_

_She reaches my lips faster than words can say. I feel desperation. Because even if I did everything just like before, they found us and forced her to awake. And I thought I'll be ready to let her follow her destiny, as I promised._

" _But I'm not. I can't give up. You're a part of me."_

_I continue the lines in my head out loud. Her lips stop on mine and she clutches my shirt in her little fists._

" _Stop it! Can't you see I'm trying to tell you I love you more?"_

_Her scream reached my inner battle and stopped it. I could only see her and her light and the trembling figure was transforming in my arms. She never let go, even when her white princess gown appeared and the moon sign on her forehead shined brightly._

_I put my palms over her fists and in her transformation she relaxed and intertwined her fingers with mine. When she was Princess Serenity, she smiled the sweetest smile, commanded my forehead to lay on hers and kissed my lips again._

" _Princess," was all I could say, trapped by her beauty and royal aura. I loved her for being Usagi, not a princess, and this was more than I ever hoped for. It made me whole._

" _My destiny is in my mind Seiya. And it will fulfill. But my love is in my heart. And you have it all."_

###

He felt her before opening his eyes. He lingered, with eyes closed, taking in her scent and feeling her warm back. She was in his arms, snuggled in his chest, her hands circling him, but he was awake. And then he realized the dream, the premonition he had, was coming true now, in this moment. Her glow reached the inside of his eyelids and he knew that in his arms was a princess, not Usagi.

"You have it all. You have it…" she was breathing hard and fast and was babbling the same words like in his dream.

"You saw it too," he realized, bewildered. She moved her head deeper into his shirt and motioned a yes.

"I'm scared," she whispered, still not letting go. "I know in my heart this was part of our future. I saw you before in a dream. But this was different. I felt it."

"I'm …" he hugged her harder and let his caresses tell the words. If he could only stop time, reinvent its passing, break the future. This moment, with her glowing in the twilight, was all he waited for from the moment his star came alive. Will she leave after this? In minute or a second? His answer came as if she read his mind. Sweet, scared and loving.

"Seiya…I _don't want_ to leave!… What does this make me?"

He paused so much not because he didn't know what to say, but because she made him, with her words, the happiest man alive. He forgot about the others, about her fate and the pact he made. He even forgot about the future. And the word, the answer she waited for, was clear to him, so he breathed in her hair.

"Free!…My…Odango, it makes you free."


	14. Meandering erratic paths

It's night outside and her disappearing seems something normal now. They haven't said a word after the scene earlier.

She sat on the couch, he sat on the floor. She was back in her usually Usagi self, wandering if the others felt her transformation. He was conflicted, divided between the happiness of having her said she loved him and the pain for her pain. Their hands were still intertwined, lazily forgotten between them.

Darkness seemed to have no effect on them, each looking toward some invisible thing in the room.

"I'm not a senshi anymore. I can't protect you that way."

His voice, angelic as it was, startled her and she squeezed his hand a little harder.

"But I will be next to you forever if you want me too, because I gave up my powers, but I'm immortal now. I can follow you and the others in every life you'll live from now to Crystal Tokyo."

The words flew across the room and back until she answered.

"I don't know what to do."

"I know. But you'll figure it out. I'll be here no matter what."

"You can't wait for me. It's not fair."

"You can say it's my destiny."

"Is it? Or is it a selfish thing I did to you?"

"Do you see me fighting back?"

"Seiya…"

"There are things I regret, even now, before it started. But having you near is not one of them. In the future, in Crystal Tokyo, I'll be near you and your daughter. You told me yourself. You came back to see me and you told me never to leave you."

"What?"

She tried to get up from where she was sitting but he stopped her. Everything seemed natural and gentle; they could understand each other even in the dark. All the lives they will have together were cramped inside their bodies and they knew each other now, even before they happened.

"Your destiny is undisturbed. You will be queen of Earth, you will love Mamoru-san forever, Chibiusa will be born and you will forget about me."

"Never. I'll never forget you."

"I am cool and handsome and a superstar...and immortal. But I'm not unforgettable. This is how things work. You'll fall asleep and resurrect and all your memories will be buried in the past. Along with your memory of me and my love. Only that…I'll be there every time to make you remember how to love me."

"And Mamo…"

"I will never come between you and him. If you'll find him, I'll wait for my next chance."

"It sounds cruel and you don't deserve this. I can't even imagine the pain."

"But can you imagine the love and the happiness?"

"I…"

"You felt it too. It makes you forget about everything else. So, if you gave this destiny to me…I thank you."

He slowly put his head in her lap and said the last words in a whisper. The tone, the words, the intimacy, they all make his body react in the strangest ways. Electricity on his spine, numbness on his legs, fire in his stomach. As a senshi, he never experienced so much. With her, it was overwhelming.

Across town, Mamoru's eyes searched the dark. He knew she was with him, out there somewhere. And all he could do was to wait for her to come back to him. And he didn't doubt it. He trusted that man. He wasn't a child and he didn't want her to suffer. So he won't take her away. And because the choice was hers, she will come back to him.

"To me. I missed so much of you growing up Usako…I'm so sorry."

"Daddy."

Out of nowhere, in the quiet room, a small body collapsed into his arms. The reaction was of pure shock. His memory replayed the moment Pluto told him she won't come back again. But his heart has happy now. His daughter was there.

"Chibiusa…"

Cradling her with joy, he realized she was strangling him with her weak arms.

"Chibiusa, I'm here, let go, slowly. What happened?"

The reasons only now became important. Because the little girls was crying hard.

"I love you daddy."

"I love you too. Calm down. What happened?"

"I'm…I'm…"

Hundred of scenarios ran throw his head but he decided he had to hear her before believing something. With pure fear, he asked.

"What happened to you?"

Chibiusa lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at him dumb folded. She forgot everything the moment she saw him. The happiness in her was overwhelming and she forgot that maybe he would react like this.

"I'm very happy to see you again."

"I'm here. Now calm down and tell me what happened. A new enemy? Changes?"

He asked the words dreading the answers. It had to be connected to everything that happened lately. Two days of changes, after the greatest battle. He felt like he couldn't take it anymore.

"Please, tell me. Pluto told me you won't be able to travel back to the past. How…"

"I need you there, in the future. Mommy needs you."

The desperation in her voice broke his heart. Instinctively he brought her closer to him as to protect her from anything.

"But I am there. Do you need help? We can all help. Like before."

"No! I need you! We need you. Daddy, you have to come with me to Crystal Tokyo."

The urgency in her tone made it sound like a calamity.

Seiya felt old. He stood by her, in the same position, for hours. His cheek was hot and so was her hand. She needed quiet and he gave it to her. Only when the time for her to leave came, he couldn't do it.

"Stay."

"Seiya…"

Her trembling eyes disarmed him and the reality kicked back. She had to leave. This wasn't his time or his right. He was waiting for her. He even let her come to him without questioning why. Mamoru was a good man.

"I know, I'm sorry. I can always dream…"

He started helping her with her coat and every move was slow and caring.

"You didn't ask what now," he said, waiting for her to ask, because in his mind, he already had an answer for her.

This idea crept inside him after she accepted the future and started a battle with herself. He couldn't do this to her. So his plan seemed obvious.

"I'll tell you anyway. I'll be your friend. Only the outers know the whole story. For the rest of them, it will be easy to accept me. And I promise to behave and wait and be happy for you. With you. No matter what you choose."

"Is this what friends do?"

Puzzled for a moment, Seiya tried to figure out what she meant. He said the words with all his heart and he meant them. So he couldn't understand her tone, which made his every word seem impossible to keep as a promise.

But then, concentrating more on reality, he saw what she meant. Their hands were restless on one another, caressing, holding, and possessively touching. The heat was overwhelming even for the big room and even after he realized what he was doing, he didn't stop. He poured his love in his grasp and she was demanding more.

Her hand had nail marks, and on his, the old cut marks reopened and were bleeding. A storm rose from their breaths and he hugged her one last time. He felt so truly like a man, brutally conscious he had the woman he wanted in his arms. He fought the instinct and kissed her hand, releasing her. Only that she didn't move. Her eyes were lost and she started to mumble.

"Chibiusa…"

She ran so fast Seiya remained numb folded. One moment he had her, all of her, and them she disappeared, thinking about the future. The little light in the hallway crept inside the apartment throw the open door. He stood there trying to understand if this was something she decided, feared or saw.

Usagi reached Mamoru's door faster than she believed. Maybe wings gave her speed, or maybe pure fear. She pushed the door open and stumbled inside and past Mamoru without knowledge of him. All she saw was the little lump under the blanket, on the couth.

She lunged for the body and tossed the blanket aside, to see her splitting image, only smaller. Blue eyes and golden hair, a little girl she still recognized as hers.

"Chibiusa…"

The moment she woke up, Chibiusa changed her appearance. Tears started to fall again, reddening her eyes and her hair washed away the gold with diluted red, transforming her into the old child they knew.

Holding her close, Usagi stared at a blank point in space, still unaware of Mamoru. And he was doing the same, back in the corner of the room. The air collapsed on them with fear and sadness.

When she turned to look at the man she loved, shackled by guilt of the night with Seiya, all Usagi could see was the door opened. Just like she left his door, on the other part of the city, and with the same desperation still lingering in the empty space.

"Chibiusa…I'm sorry."

She apologizes for something she feels guilty, not something she knows. And when her daughter meets her eyes with red ones, Usagi knows the news is not about something she did.

"Momma… _I_ am sorry. I couldn't save them. It's my fault, my birthday gift, my fault."

The confession of her daughter brought no relief. Maybe she wasn't guilty, but something terrible happened and she could feel it. It felt like the sun, a complete star, split in two and half died.

Petrified and almost deaf, neither Usagi nor Chibiusa saw Haruka standing in the doorway. It only took a second for the wind senshi to make up her mind and a story about why all this was happening. And then she knew her way.

"That bastard Seiya, I hope he's ready to test his immortality!"

Mamoru was on his way to meet Uranus, unaware that the one he searched was behind him. Only when transformed into Tuxedo Kamen, he could see the senshi's light putting distance between them.

So he followed, fast, the closest link he had with Pluto and her revelations. The pain of what Chibiusa told him was fresh and maybe it will never leave him. To him, this life was a string of misfortunes and traps, never allowing them to be together. And now, his future collapsed, because nobody could predict it anymore, not even Pluto.

The thought of leaving her was unbearable. She won't understand but still she'll agree, because that was who she was: good to the core. And today, maybe he resented her for that. Because now, in the present, after he came back, he hopped to have her as Mamoru and love her as Mamoru, not as the King he will be. They deserved a life of uncomplicated love. But destiny kept them from having just that: a life for themselves.

So he went, unable to talk to her, unable to look at her, because he knew from the moment she walked in that she wasn't his Odango Atama anymore. Chibiusa will tell her everything, just like she told him, and she'll see that his decision was the only one to be made.

That was why he needed Haruka. Somehow, Pluto had to be there and together they had to overcome this pain, this desperation, this overwhelming destiny they had.

Haruka reached her destination escaping death. Her car raged across the streets as beautifully as Michiru's moves. And she flew over the stairs like they were flat earth. She didn't had the time or need to knock. The door was still opened and Seiya was on the ground, with his back to the wall and his head in his hands. Haruka remembered he looked just the same two days ago. But this time she had no understanding or mercy or anything good for him. Today, Seiya Kou was her mortal enemy.

"Get up, intruder."

Undisturbed, Seiya didn't even lifted his eyes.

"You're in _my_ house. Rethink your insult."

"Get up or I'll strike you the way you are. At least behave like a man and not a coward bastard, even if you are one."

Seiya rose so fast he felt a little dizzy. But this was too much. No one will insult him this way. Inside him ran fighter blood and he really needed a fight.

"I'm sick of you. All of you outers. You say you have a mission and you protect her, but all you do is dictate every move for her to make. I know she cares about you, but give me a reason and I'll take you down. I'll save her the pain…"

"Pain? Did you see what you did to her? How she looks right now? I know she was here."

"You really think you know everything."

"I know you hurt her."

"You do?"

"I know you changed the future?"

"That too…"

"I know you forced her to…"

Seiya wasn't going to let Haruka finish the sentence. He didn't force her to do anything. He was the only one who didn't force her into anything. He wasn't going to take that insult. The hell with his safety, the hell with everything.

"Forced her…you're the one to talk! Do you know what _you_ did? How she fears her choices. Because of you? You think you know everything. Tell me this! Do you know what she told today? She wants to stay with me! With me?"

Haruka lost her balance and the attack position. She gave up, in midair, because he told the truth. The mixture of hope, love and fury in Seiya's eyes told her he was telling the truth. And before she could start to analyze what he said, a sound made her turn to the door. The man there was the image of loss, yet he looked more like a king than ever before. He heard everything.

"Then you have to make her happy," he said and moved in to close the door behind him.

Chibiusa calmed down eventually and started her story. How can you explain, you, an eight year old child, that you came to take your father into the future and he can't come back in this lifetime or any other? How do you tell your future mother she'll be alone?

"Usagi…momma, I have to take papa back with me. I have to…I have to…"

Mamoru stood with his back to the door, looking tired. The other two were waiting and what he just heard gave him hope, not anger.

He had a choice to make and it was hard only because she won't understand. He did. He knew it was no other way. At least, what seemed interference in their destiny was actually help.

Seiya wasn't meant to take her away from her destiny or change her future. He was meant to love her and give her comfort. He was tested in a battle and after it and he gave up everything for her. She chose him to be close and he lived for her. Seiya was Usagi's present.

This was their destiny all along. He was being prepared for this from his birth. He learned to loose and receive, he was raised as a king, not a man, and all the challenges he passed made sense now.

Pluto had no idea. It wasn't in her power to give him this awakening. He waited all his life to receive this revelation. He was King Endymion of Earth, not Mamoru Chiba. His queen needed him in the future now and he longed for her.

The moment he received his destiny with all his heart, Mamoru transformed into King Endymion. A perfect incarnation of the spirit planet Earth had. He had the power of life above all, the beauty of the sky and the calm of the seas. And the future he will change came to him. The things he saw hurt and he couldn't believe they almost destroyed their path.

"Pluto, reveal yourself," he commanded, and the senshi appeared as he did.

"My King! How can this be? I saw the future. I don't understand."

"It is not for you to understand. You were only given the power to watch over the Gates of time and yet you did so much more. You should have trusted us more, because we know the way to each other ever since the moment we parted on the Moon. Serenity is my love and I'm not complete without her. I shouldn't have been born here, now, Pluto. I was to wait for her in the future as Endymion."

"King Endymion…"

"I know you saw the changes too. Many lifetimes where Seiya Kou is there and I have to give her up, or the other way around and even Crystal Tokyo, full of changes and cruel to some. Is this what you thought is right?"

"I…I…"

"This is my planet and I am her guardian. I don't need time to learn to live and love. But she does, because all she knew was the Moon. Her destiny was to be born here and learn to love my planet. Fight for it and protect it. My star seed would have helped her learn and remember who she was so that she'll be prepared for the day when we promised to find each other again and fulfill our love in Crystal Tokyo. My queen and I will give life to the solar system with our love."

"I thought…"

"It was a hard burden for you to carry Pluto. And a great power. Not one single being should carry it, no matter how strong. I can release you from your duty. With only one final task: seal the Gates of time and let life flow it's natural course. She will find me. I waited for her even before she was born on the Moon. Let her live and the future will return to what we know. For all of us, close the Gates and let us live with free will. "

"Yes my King."

Haruka and Seiya witnessed the scene and lost all their words. Destiny was being rewritten, the way it should have been from the beginning. This man, this king, this spirit of the beautiful Earth knew his way. If it would have been like he said from the beginning, no one would have suffered. Especially not her.

"Seiya…you have been a good friend. You don't know this and you will never know, because you won't live the future I saw. Your choice to stay on Earth was foreseen. But because I am here, it only brings conflict and pain. And the future is cruel for you, even with my daughter's love. My departure will heal time. The things will be as destined and you will live free of any promise. I give you your life back. Immortality is not natural on Earth and it brings only suffering. You deserve happiness, just like she does."

Seiya couldn't take his yes away. This man was surreal and kind to him. He refused his powers and chose to be immortal just to have a chance with her and now this man was telling him not that he'll be punished, but he'll be complete.

"What are you talking about? Leave? Leave her again? Are you all insane? And how can you undo something my princess did? You're all mad!"

"I have to leave. You may think I leave her, but in fact, I go to join her. And _I can_ give you your powers back, because, as I said, my planet's power is that of life. You deserve it. In a future I'm grateful you won't live, you gave much more to me."

"So I'm a senshi again. Just like that."

"If you chose."

"You are all insane? You can't play with lives and time and people like that."

"I know. I put an end to it today."

"It's too late!"

"Not for you."

Endymion approached the conflicted star and reached his right hand. His left hand was on the beautiful sword that completed his armor. He waited in mid air for Seiya to take his hand. Patient and serene, like a true ruler.

Dumb folded and unaware what to do with his anger, Seiya met the King's hand almost unconsciously. And that triggered it.

###

_It's crowded and loud. I hate it. I try to make my way and still smile, because it seems it's so important._

" _Could you let us pass?" I try to tell them but they don't listen. "GO away!"_

_I don't care about protocol or any other nonsense. I have to breathe so I walk away from there. It works for a while but then…then I feel her and I forget how to do it. I know her. My inside screams that I know her and her light. It felt like she reached and touched me, even if she walks happily next to another boy. My instinct takes over and tells me to take her hand and never let her go. I'm terrified that I can lose control like this and I can't get my eyes of her until she disappears into the crowd._

_The next day, I find myself thinking about her. And silence mostly. I take a break from this busy life we chose. I hear a noise. Someone just had to disturb me._

" _From that point, there's no admittance!" I say and hope they'll go away._

" _I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Well, I…I wanted to see Alice …from close-up," she starts mumbling, rushing the words together in a childish voice. If it's childish, why don't I want her to stop?_

_I get up and see her. It doesn't take me much to know. If I would be the kind of person to believe in destiny…well…here I am, next to the first woman that got my attention in this mission. I remember the airport and the feeling she gave me._

" _You are the one from…I guess you don't remember."_

" _Well, did I meet you somewhere?"_

_She's sweet and innocent, like her light. Even if she didn't remember me from the other day, she should have remembered me from tv or magazines or…It's a great opportunity to play._

" _I guess I'm not as popular as I thought," I act offended and she gets into my trap._

" _Oh! I got it. It's a new way of approaching girls," she says and she gets me by surprise. The words come flowing without my will._

" _No, not really. But if this was a line, I wouldn't try it on any girl. It would be a one shoot."_

_She makes me laugh for the first time since my planet…I walk away because her power is too great and I can't afford to get unfocused. I have a mission._

" _Funny girl. See you, Odango!"_

_Maybe it was rude, in this culture, but the word flew out of my mouth. It sounds familiar, like she feels._

_We have to go to school here and have a normal life. I walk down the street thinking. And destiny bumps into me. I know I said I'm not a believer, but there she is again. She falls down after she touches me. I barely felt anything hit me. She's light like a feather and…I feel dizzy. The place where she hit me burns and I see images of her I can't possibly see. They flash before my eyes and when they're done I can see her eyes. I think I see recognition. But is it because of the meeting in the park…or she saw it too?"_

###

Seiya takes his hand away from the King's.

"What trick is this?"

"It's not a trick. It's the way you two should have meet. The changes go on and on. It was the plan to meet her when she needed help with Galaxia. And to fall in love and fight together and win. In the end, your destiny was to be loved by her, as Usagi. After Galaxia, no other enemy will bother us. She has time to be Usagi and learn.

"You…can't…say this. You can't come near me now and say that after all I did and saw and felt…I battled destiny just to find out she was meant to be with me?"

"I'm so…"

"If you say sorry one more time I swear…"

"The things you saw into the future may or may not stay the same. The only difference is that I won't be there. I'll wait in 30th century. Just…take care of her.

"Just like that? You can't be serious. Do you expect her to chose me now? And are you planning to leave her? Again?"

Seiya only felt the punch. It came out of nowhere. Haruka was mad angry and had tears in her eyes.

"Shut up and mind your tone. I don't care who you are, I'm not gonna forgive you if you say something stupid."

"Haruka. Can't you see this is madness? Do YOU expect her to accept this? Another thing you make her face and give her no choice. Nice."

"I have to fix time. I have no choice."

"Seiya, now, we are all guilty for what we done to interfere. You should be happy. You get what you wanted."

The punch back was as hard as the one received. Through his teeth, his words hissed bitterly.

"I wanted a fair chance with her. NOT THE STUPID DESTINY!"

The anger was above anything he sensed before and in the heat, the King's warm hand and light made the change in him. Power floated in like the purest air, filling his every pore. His heart stopped racing and he gave in, because the power he received was overwhelming.

"I release you from your destiny as an immortal. You gave your life for me, I return it to you."


	15. Collide and entwine

Holding her daughter in a cradle, Usagi sobs quietly.

"You understand don't you?"

"I do. But how can I agree?"

"For them and all of us."

"Is there something in this life I can decide for myself? Do I ever deserve something … for me?"

"Of course you do, you baka. It's all for you. He did it all for you. We have to fix it. And you will be happy. I promise."

Chibiusa made her promise holding Usagis' face in between her little hands. Looking in each other eyes, together they had the power to fill the space with love and peace. The moon signs started to shine brightly and they left the room like shadows, still embraced.

Endimyon was waiting for them. In front of him, Seiya just received the ultimate gift of life.

"Will I be able to transform into a senshi?"

"It was your choice not to. But don't worry. You won't have to protect her from mystical enemies anymore."

"Tell me…how can I be with her now? And for how long?"

"Don't test my determination. Leaving her here is the hardest thing I had to do. I try very hard not to think she'll be with you. Just try and keep these questions away from me. All I need to know is that you'll let her chose, no matter what."

"I think I'll be better at it than all of you."

The argument went no further. Princess Serenity appeared with Small Lady and they both stood in Endymion's arms.

"I'm so very sorry."

"If it's all true, I'm the one to be sorry. Remember when you left for America? I was determined to see you off with a smile. I don't think I'll be better at it this time."

"You don't have to hide your tears. It's why I love you so. You're beautiful. I'll wait for you."

"You always do."

She smiled one last smile and cried one last tear and then collapsed, transforming back into Usagi.

Seiya was there to catch her, as was the King.

"I'm not wrong about you. You will be there for her."

Endymion kissed her and almost lost his composure. But the hand of his daughter gave him strength and he took her into his arms, preparing to leave.

"Pluto, I leave my last command. You know what to do. Seal the Gates and leave the Mirror inside. No one has the power to look upon it and leave without interfering. Protect her, help her learn and live happy too. All of you. The future will wait for you."

With his last words, all the senshi were transported to the room, oblivious and yet ready, in their uniforms, to give Endymion and Chibiusa power to go back into the future. One that they will never know about, until the day will come for them to live it.

"Protector of time, mother Earth, allow us to make amend and fix the circle. Let us travel to bring life and guide us to the love waiting on the other side."

Chibiusa said the words and when the Gates of time opened, she threw her key to Seiya.

"Ano…soshite ai shite imasu …Seiya!( and I love you Seiya) Thank you very very much. I will never forget you."

The little one's smile reminded him of hers. And then the key transformed into a star seed and found its way into his heart, bringing memories it stored of a future that will not come to be.

Shrouded in a pale light, Seiya and Usagi in his arms fell both into a dream meant to give answers and comfort.

###

" _Where are we?" Usagi asked, waking up slowly to look into blue eyes. "Was it all real?"_

" _I'm sorry," Seiya answered her, frighten to admit that maybe she regretted ever knowing him._

" _Why do you cry?"_

_He didn't notice it until she said it._

" _I never cry. I'm super cool," he tried to fool her._

" _Don't stop if you feel like crying. It makes things easier. I know. I'm a crybaby and that's how I can handle everything."_

" _You won't have to cry, you know, if you give me a chance. I'll make you laugh."_

" _You always did a great job with that. That and annoying me."_

" _I'll try not to," he smiled thinking about the times he teased her. "I think those days are behind us."_

" _Mm, no. you teasing me is…normal. I need normal again or I don't think I'll be able to…"_

" _You don't have to forget. I don't ask you too."_

" _No, my daughter, you don't have to forget."_

_They both herd the voice but only Usagi recognized it._

" _Momma!"_

_Seiya helped her up and they stood in front of the most pure spirit ever to be born. The ancient Queen of the Moon, Usagi's mother, changed as little as the Moon itself. Beautiful and wise, she looked at them with sadness._

" _I weep for you my daughter. Things didn't have to happen like this. But forgive Pluto, she thought she protects you. I had so little time to make things clear before I …I was happy that my crystal took you all to safety._

_But I had to tell you so much more. I send you to Earth because you choose Earth and its protector, Endymion. Seeing you both together gave me hope. I couldn't bring life into the solar system. But you two will. There is time until the next prophecy of a great kingdom in the 30th century will bring you two together._

_The reason why I sent you to Earth was for you to learn about it and about being human. To love and hope and even cry. Times changed and will change. Neo Queen Serenity must be ready with all her heart._

_I gave you time so you could live peacefully. I saw little of the enemies you faced and I am sorry for this. But you did well, I am proud of you and your guardians."_

_Usagi started to race toward her mother's arms and Seiya felt like he was witnessing something sacred. He backed away slowly, until she noticed him._

" _Fighter? I brought you here also, into these dream. Never forget your promise to be with her. She chose you, not destiny. That was why no one saw you coming and becoming part of her life. Don't be sad or frightened."_

" _I'm not frightened…"_

" _Oh, so much of a fighter you still are. Your princess and your friends are on their way back as we speak."_

" _What? How?"_

" _We feel our stars being born and reborn. She felt you star seed. I have a mission for you. Maybe the most important one. And I know you will try. Love her with all the love I felt in you and be patient. The twists and turns of time wounded her and she must heal. But someday…" The queen looked down on her tearful daughter and caressed her cheek with motherly love._

" _You may not believe this now, but you do love him. Release yourself from the pain and guilt and love again."_

" _But then…after…"_

" _How can you believe love will destroy the future or a heart? You are so confused. Let him teach you. The burden of so many lives and memories is too much for anyone to bear. Trust your heart. Take one life at a time."_

" _And if I…"_

_The queen must have read her mind, because she instantly looked for Seiya's eyes. And he felt it too. Usagi's choice. He felt it and understood._

" _You can decide your life. I'm confident it will take you to a wonderful future. I have to go. You're getting weak."_

" _I'll take her," Seiya rushed to them and supported Usagi. The mother Queen touched his cheek and smiled the same mesmerizing smile her daughter had._

" _Time should have been kinder to all of you. But I cannot let myself believe I could have control it, because it's not how things should be and so much power corrupts. I am sorry, but I have faith also."_

_She ever so slightly bowed her head and Seiya followed in respect. And she was gone. Close to his chest, Usagi was quiet now but he kept repeating a soothing lullaby he learned as a child, in an unknown language._

###

And then they were back in his apartment, populated now with all the inner and outer senshis.

"I thought you were never going to wake up. What happened?"

"We woke up to reality," Seiya answered and his words hold more than one meaning. The eyes that were made to dream now see only her. And he knows it's not the end, because he can see her smile in his heart.

Usagi looks the other way, or maybe nowhere. She can see something the others don't and the image seems to captivate her because she follows that image away from Seiya and the others in the room. He remains quiet, braces his head and tries to regain focus. He does, because after her weightless footsteps, he hears another.

"Leave her alone. She needs time."

Rei stops dead, confused and somewhat angry at the stars tone. He lifts his eyes to hers and the look in them convinces Rei he knows better and she agrees.

"She's been through a lot. I wonder if she has any hope left, or if I can…give her any hope," he wonders more to himself. Around him, more confused looks.

"Maybe you're to blame in the first place," Michiru says before Haruka's hand catches hers and she stops. Haruka mimics a No and takes Michiru to explain everything that just happened.

"I wish…I wish I was to blame. So she could stop blaming herself."

"Could someone tell us what happened? Someone brought us here and the first thing we see is Mamoru-san disappearing with Chibiusa. What happened? And since when are you back? Are the others with you?"

With every question his head pounded harder. The answers he imagined gave him headaches because he could remember everything. Just a few days ago he decided to stay and since then they were trapped into a carousel ride.

Only he knows what happened. Where to begin? Haruka was gone, so she couldn't help to fill in the blanks, the hard parts, and Pluto was just out the door looking for Usagi. It was up to him. They all deserved an explanation, because he kept them blind since he came back. It seemed normal to begin with the reason he stayed and why he was alone so he just said it, against all etiquette, rules and embarrassment.

"I'm in love with Usagi Tsukino from the moment…"

Puzzled faces, intrigued senshis and compassion followed his words of the story. Some could not believe, some feared the future and others suffered for them. He left out the things Usagi should say by herself and kept on with the story, undisturbed, for most part of the evening, waiting, as he concentrated on speaking, waiting for her to come out of the room she chose as sanctuary.

He didn't want a miracle, for her to jump into his arms or say she doesn't want to leave, like before. He needed her to look into his eyes.

But sitting in the room where it all started, where she took care of a sick Seiya, Usagi closed her eyes. Her first thought, never to open them again. Her second thought came after the talk with Pluto.

Pluto followed her and waited patiently for Usagi's rage. When it didn't come, Pluto asked for forgiveness.

"I have nothing to forgive you for. If I was a better person and princess, you would have trusted me and this twisted faith wouldn't have happened."

"Princess…"

"And don't call me that. I'm Usagi. Without him I'm Usagi."

"I'll go and seal the Gates of Time. I need your permission, even if the King ordered it."

"He knows better."

"Please, make a decision."

That sentence meant a lot more than it appeared.

"I made a decision. I made a lot of them. Someone always proves me it's the wrong one. I decided to let him go to America. I decided to get close to S…the star lights no matter what. I decided to have him in my future…look, look what happened."

"I'm to blame, not Seiya Kou. He…"

"He waits for me even now. Out there. And I don't know if I can face him."

"Prin…Usagi-chan, I lied to you. When you called us, because he was sick, and you asked if a saw something different into the future…I saw him. I saw you, loving him. In so many lifetimes, I saw him follow you and protect you and love you. I know he saw it too, and I know he showed it to you. His determination made him our enemy."

"Your enemy?"

"I warned the outers about my premonitions and we were close to start a war. But he agreed to sacrifice everything for you. We made a pact. He was to agree for you to forget everything about him when in Cristal Tokyo."

"Forget…him?"

"Even if he remembered, he agreed to never say anything to you, so you could be happy with …the King."

"That is cruel. Everything is distorted and wrong. When and who decided to play like this with our fate? How can love be pain?"

"I beg forgiveness. I'll leave right now if you command me."

"I don't command you. I beg you to take care of what Mamo-chan… _sobs_ …wanted."

"Time will heal. So will the future."

"I know. And Pluto, about the future…The things, the dreams I had, of us…"

"Consequences of your choices. They may or may not happen."

"If I chose them not to…will he see it? Will Seiya forget?"

"I…I do not know Usagi-chan."

"Go. I hope we'll see each other again," Usagi concluded and remained on the edge of the bed, lost in thoughts.

Pluto left to her duty, only to renounce it, freed by the King and his Queen to be. She agreed this kind of power corrupted and she felt free. Free to raise her glaive and strike.

In the living room, the story left the girls sad. In front of their eyes, this happened. And at some times, they helped. They gave her no choice, no chance to prove she'll lead them to the right future. They guided her steps like you do to a child and she was so much more. This kind of fate was hard to bear and she did it without complaining.

"What will you do now?"

Seiya thought he knew the answer. But his instinct told him the right decision was to give her time. They had time, didn't they?

"I'll do what I did from the beginning. I'll wait for her. Take care of her for me. I'm expecting guests and I have to meet them. But I'll b back as soon as… "

"Seiya-kun…go! We'll never leave her side," Rei promised and he smiled a meek smile.

Seiya left his heart in that apartment, to look after her. And his star seed took him to his friends. Thy felt his shine the moment they entered the solar system and knew exactly where he was. The reunion was a happy one.

"I thought we'll never see you again and then Princess felt your star seed shine brightly like it used to Fighter."

"Not Fighter. I'm still human."

"But how…"

"Long story. I told it once tonight, I don't think I can bear to tell it yet again."

"But…"

"We understand," her sweet voice accepted his wish with the happiness of having him free again from the burden of immortality.

"At least you have to feed us and let us rest," Yaten pointed out bluntly, but only to stay true to his character. Inside, he was truly happy.

"Oh! Of course," he hurried to reply, remembering in a second the longing of going back to the apartment was because of her presence there.

From the door he lost her trace. The inside was empty and cold except for the silhouette near the window.

"She left," he answered his own question.

"She did, Rei took her home."

"Did she…"

"Seiya-kun…did you really gave up everything for her?"

The blonde senshi looked him straight in the eyes, like trying to understand something she couldn't believe she'll miss. She was the senshi of love. Sailor Venus. And she felt blind.

"I did."

"I saw you look at her and defend her and making her laugh. But I was blind. It's so clear now I can't believe I missed it."

"She was supposed to get it and she didn't so…"

"No but she did. Can't you see? I do see it now. She changed after you…offered her a choice, on the roof, that day."

"She was missing him."

"Yes, but she also was conflicted about you. And now…"

"Now she suffers because he left. It's still him."

"She does suffer but, she loves you Seiya. That is why she told me to deliver this message."

"A message?"

"This is it."

In a scribbled messy writing, there she was, talking to him without looking into his eyes.

_Seiya_

_Remember the beginning of this night, and my hand and my words. I don't want to leave. But you were right. If things must heal, then I guess freedom is the way. I know how hard it was for me to carry this destiny so I won't make you suffer the same life over another life. I saw what you saw ant it was love. But I had love and I have lost it. And I can't do that to you. I'll make things right. I'll let you chose. Now, that Maker, Healer and your Princess are here, I hope it will be easier._

_My choice is to be free. I'm so brave as to take this decision because of you. You gave me the power. And even if it seems selfish, I know you'll understand. You always seem to do._

_I don't know what I did to deserve you._

_Usagi_

Reading the last line made him angry. Over his shoulder, Yaten was trying to decipher the note. Seiya turned to him so fast the light had to take a step back so he wouldn't feel the fire in Seiyas' eyes.

"What is she going to do?"

"Set us free from destiny."


	16. Evanescent and spellbound

"Do you think he'll understand?" she asks in a little scared voice.

"That you said goodbye in a note? Do you? Do you feel this is the right thing to do?" Rei answers the only answer she can.

"I think it is…right, for all of us," Usagi thinks about how much more this was about. She had to keep silent about the note and her decision.

"Still, you have to see him…"

"I know, the letter was a coward thing to do, but I couldn't wait for him. Now the others are here, maybe it will be easier for him."

"Easier for him to leave?"

"Leave…"

"Do you want him to leave?"

"NO!"

"Usagi…do you love him enough to ask him to stay?"

Seiya sat down after Minako left and told the story again. All he felt in the present and all he knew about the future. Telling it so many times made it even more real and complicated. Nobody could give him a solution, because all he had to do now was wait. He was back in that moment where he stayed on Earth for her and, without any hope of having her the way he wanted, he still told her his feelings.

"Now, she truly is the one deciding her …destiny."

"What about you?"

"Fighter, you can always come back with us. We can help."

His princess spoke for the first time. She was giving him a place to call home and a choice for his own destiny. He wasn't a sailor soldier anymore, but he could live and die and be reborn without any memories of the past.

"I can't leave her, no matter what her choice is."

"So you'll be like a puppy following her everywhere? You can't defend her like Fighter, you can't keep reminding her of what she lost."

"Maybe she'll accept me."

"Then what was that note?"

"A decision."

"One she didn't care enough to tell you herself."

"Shut up! She just lost the man she loved. She needs time. I understand."

"Fighter…do you love her enough to leave and give her time?"

"What now Haruka?"

"Now, it's just us. I can't imagine what she feels now. I can't imagine you leaving me not even for the future me."

"She still has people who love her and people to love."

"Seiya Kou…we fought him every step of the way."

"We can't fight destiny after all."

"I think is more like we can't fight something we don't understand."

"I'll never leave you."

"I'm here forever Michiru."

"Do you love me enough to live with me even if we are not fighting?"

"This was so hard for her. Time must heal now, the changes …we …"

"Ami-chan, the outers are to blame."

"No Mako-chan, no one is to blame. We all fight for the same things. Somehow, the future we hoped for will come. Maybe this was a test."

"Usagi is not good with tests Minako-chan."

"She is strong, more than we give her credit."

"What happens now?"

"We live, we fall in love…"

"We study…"

"Ami-chan!"

"Do we have enough love to stay with her even if we were given freedom for our own dreams?"

It rains and this night is black. I can barely see the city lights. My room doesn't seem my own anymore. It lost something, just like me. His music is still comforting, even in the blackness of a rainy night. The rhythmic sound of my broken cassette player makes my broken heart beat straight. I was prepared, after Rei left, for a storm. Endless tears and thoughts about Mamo-chan. But I think about Seiya more. I wonder if he sleeps or if he's sleepy like me. And if he makes choices and if he counts raindrops.

It rains and this night is black without her. I can barely hear the rain in my room. I trapped her smell in this room. I don't want to open the window, even if it meant seeing the light of hope. I barely touch the cords of my broken guitar and it still makes the noise that resonates with my broken heart. I was prepared to make a decision after I talked to my friends. But I can't think about _my_ choices. I think about her more. I wonder if she cries and it makes me mad. I wonder if her room is warm and if she'll change her choice.

Sleep creeps inside Usagi's room. Tangled in cold sheets, she falls…

###

_A small figure stands in front of a steam covered mirror. The shower was warm and she would describe it "like his arms". She needs to go to work, the children in her class are waiting for a test today, but she decided against it this morning, remembering how bad she was at tests._

_She reaches a hand and wipes the mirror so she can see herself. The big blue eyes are the same, only that now they shine. Some hardened features, some wrinkles, swollen lips, and the hair in dismay. And yet, aging is wonderful sometimes._

_She pulls strings of hair and starts to give form to her braided style that is not new anymore. She loves it, because it shows her age and he can't call her Odango Atama any longer. She writes her old nickname on the mirror with a trembling finger. Her skin covers in goose bumps._

_It's not the memory, it's the air rushed into the room. The door was opened. He came in. He kisses her shoulder and her neck and follows with his hand the line of some braided strings of hair._

" _Morning …Odango," he greats her while whipping her writing of the window._

" _You loved that nickname. How did you know…You never called me that since…"_

" _Shhh! I loved it, yes. But I love you more."_

_She opens her eyes and looks at them together, as reflected by the steamy mirror. He rested his head on her shoulder, sleepy and beautiful like a dream. He cut his hair a while ago, against her wishes. He said that if she cut hers, he'll grow up too. His short bristle hair looked good, even in the morning. She just couldn't play with it when she woke up before him in some mornings._

_His bear skin touched her back and made her feel like staying home._

" _I'll be late."_

_He opened his eyes and the blue love in them washed her worries away. He smiled his cocky smile and she surrendered._

" _Just stay a little longer. I'll get you there on time. And safe."_

" _I know. Being late won't hurt me. I love you …Seiya!"_

" _Do you know how much I waited for you to say that?"_

" _Since last night?"_

_He looked in her eyes and she understood. She pressed her lips to his and he rushed out his answer before he ran out of air._

" _I love you forever."_

###

Midnight creeps inside Usagi's room. Tangled in hot sheets, she wakes up from the dream. Only that it wasn't a dream. It was a future and a choice. And if she had one, he might have it too. And it will give him hope. And he has to know her choice.

The goose bumps still remodel her skin as she rushes out into the night, to see him. One corner, then another, light from a shop, and then a lonely car in the midnight dreary.

She pushes on, breathing hard. One more corner.

Sleep creeps inside Seiya's room. Barefoot, next to the cold window, he falls…

###

_The hall vibrates along with his voice. They hear but they can't understand the words. He sings his heart out to her and it's not enough. He can feel her near but the warmth of the crown is not her warmth and he rushes the lyrics so he can get off stage. They call him back, but all he ever listens is her. The bike is ready and as the sun sets, he knows where to find her._

_The concrete building is celebrating her presence with light. He walks slowly by the windows and stops at every one, to see her from a different angle and he finds her lovely from every one of them._

_He sees her friends, celebrating with her, happy like little children. And she glows._

_One hand rushes through his short hair and the other reaches for the door. The moment she sees him time stops for them. The little wrinkle next to her mouth grows as she smiles wider. One look to the others, as to say sorry for leaving them, and she leaps into his arms._

_Weightless and sweet, she accepts his arm and he takes her away breathing in her new perfume._

" _They will mind."_

" _They came a long way for us."_

" _Yes, but I missed you more."_

" _How was the concert? It felt good."_

" _If you heard me, then it was great."_

" _So, are you kidnapping me?"_

" _I promised you I will, a long time ago."_

" _It's not kidnapping if I agree," she whispered into his ear and kissed his ear ring and he shivered._

" _How upset will they be if I take you away for this?"_

" _Haruka might be very upset. She was excited about her role. And we are a little to old for games."_

" _Me, old? I'm a hot superstar. Not immortal anymore, but still. But to be honest, you're …thousands of years old. And still, I can't take my eyes away from you."_

" _Seiya…"_

" _Yes?"_

" _I love you. You don't have to take me away to make me stay only with you."_

" _I want to take you away because I want to be with you alone. They can have you later."_

_He met her eyes and she knew what he meant. It was not about the "later" when the restaurant will close, or when the night will come, or the next morning. It was a different kind of "later", one where he won't follow her, into the distant future._

" _If you want me to take you back to them, I will."_

" _Shhh! Don't let me go. Keep me."_

" _Now and forever in my mind. I love you."_

###

Midnight creeps inside Seiya's room and with it, light. Not from the dream he had, a possible future, but because he sees a little wet shape moving on the street below. And his running begins.

Usagi reached his building breathless and wet to the bone. He met her halfway, still barefoot and wrapping quickly his coat around her.

"I would have come to you."

"Iiii…haddd….toooo…comeeee…" said a shivering Usagi, between chattering teeth.

"Let's go upstairs. Everybody is sleeping anyway."

"Oooo…kkkk"

Up the stairs, through the door, into the bathroom.

"Here, put this on you. I'll be waiting with a hot tea."

"Arigatou Seiya."

He stopped dead in his way out the door. The same words kept him from leaving Earth days ago. Days…it felt like years or even lives.

He eventually closed the door behind him and stood there, realizing that cold was all around him, except for the place she was in. Next to her, the air was warmer and brightened the night.

Usagi dried herself and took a towel to Seiya.

"Here, you must be cold too."

"I don't think I'll catch another cold so soon."

"Mmm."

"So, why did you have to do this? I understood things from your note. You need time and you already made up your mind."

"I did, but …"

"I don't blame you. But I am curious about what you want to do, because I won't let you get hurt."

"I…"

"I still love you more than anything. I don't care about destiny, I just …"

"I know you don't care. That's why I can do this. I know I will give you more peace than pain."

"You do this for me? I don't want it."

"You don't know what I want to do."

"It makes you sad and I don't want it."

"I do it for …me too."

"Oh! …"

"I'm going to use my crystal to fall asleep after this life and wait for Crystal Tokyo. I don't want to live another life…"

"Without him. I understand. Even if destiny tells you I'm here to love you, I'm still not good enough."

"NO! It's not that. I don't want to live another life with YOU because I don't want to love you and I don't want you to love me and then…"

Her words broke him down. Mad and blind, he didn't wait another word, even if she seemed to say something else. He moved pass her, got some shoes and left, leaving Usagi to wonder why doesn't he understand.

The commotion woke up the guests. The fireball princes slowly bowed to the other princess in the room and then she followed Seiya into the night. Yaten and Taiki didn't had the time to ask what happened, because Usagi did the same.

Run, make it clear for him, and don't let him suffer. The more she thought about her words, she understood why he ran. It was because she started to explain her choice with words that cause misunderstandings.

Corners pass one after another and she couldn't keep up. Running wasn't her sport of choice. From wet to dry and wet again…she was feeling dizzy and she fell. Far from her, Seiya slowed down. The moment he stopped, his princess stood there, like a beautiful night spirit.

"Is this what human beings do? They run? Come back with us, home."

"I…"

It was either the rain, or Usagi falling somewhere behind him, or the destiny he fought so much, but something didn't let him say yes to his princess. And he fell into revelry again.

###

" _I would have loved you forever...Usagi."_

" _I know. Usagi would have loved you forever too maybe. I…"_

_She has grown up, I can see it clearly. I lose in her, with every minute, the Usagi I adored. She smiles into my palm and I remember all the mornings when she did the same. Her hair transforms and I see the day when she came to me without her odangos. She turns away and takes two steps and I can swear she'll turn around to smile at me, like when she left for work._

_She does and my heart jumps. Have I told her I love you enough times?_

_I see the way her back arches and I feel it under my hand and I can see the pale of her neck and I feel it on my lips. This shouldn't be this easy for me to do. I know she uses her powers to comfort me._

" _Stop using your Crystal to bring me comfort."_

" _I…"_

" _You'll need all its power to do this and live."_

_She stops and I wish she didn't because my entire being is imploding. Everything hurts and age has nothing to do with it. It's her leaving, her choice._

_She leaves me after she loved me. It may be normal for other human beings to live together for decades and then say goodbye as the end comes near, but we were different. We had the choice to be reborn and together again. And yet, she leaves me and she leaves all of them._

_And I don't blame her. Instead, I help her. I stand by her even now, because the others will come to stop her. And I won't let them. I won't let them keep my love alive. It sounds strange, but it feels right. I already had more than I hoped for when I stayed here so many years ago. I had her love._

" _Are you ready?" I ask as if I ask her if she's ready for work._

" _Can I say no?"_

" _No love, you can't say NO, because I'll take you away and make you promise another life to me. Don't worry. You will find love ones when you wake up."_

" _Will I find you?"_

" _Maybe I'll visit."_

" _So you'll go home…to your planet, as we talked…"_

" _Yes, it's about time for the greatest Starlight to return and give lessons."_

" _Teach them to be kind and faithful. I love those most about you."_

" _Yeah, I guess I can't teach them to grow good looks. I bet that was one of your favorite too."_

_She smiles my smile and I give in. I have to kiss her lips while still warm and hold her as I did an entire life. It was a good life, after all._

_I feel her coming close and strengthening her grip on me and my joke earlier about kidnapping her is dangerously close to reality. I could take her away. Beg her, for the first time in my life, to listen to me, to do something for me. And she would, eventually, because her future is far away and I'm here and I hold her._

" _I feel the others. I have to do this now. I'm sorry you have to…"_

" _I offered. Go. I'll explain to them and give you time."_

_She moves so slowly that if I try I can take her hand. I have to tighten my grip on the little memory she left me so I won't try to catch her. I can feel her stopping. Why did you? I can't turn around. We had our goodbye, I can't do this again. She prepares the words._

" _You were the best friend I could have had," she says finally and I have to put my hands behind my head so nobody can see them trembling._

" _And you were exactly the shine I followed all my life," I say to her again, like I said it before._

_The sound of footsteps rushes loudly even for her and not away from me. Before I can turn around, she's embracing me, transformed into her Princess form. She kisses my back and runs away into the shelter she summoned. And in an instant, I can't feel her shine anymore. No one will ever find her in this shelter, a little crystal space inside another dimension. Not even them._

_I see them materializing in front of me and I can see Haruka trying to get to me first. I wonder what they think. Do they think I could hurt her? After they saw us loving each other?_

_I knew she'll be the hardest one to calm down. Her and Rei. They both prepare their attacks. I stand still, gripping the memory she left for me, waiting for them to come closer, to see._

_The first attack hits, but its force is almost gone. I don't move and that puzzles them. Just a few more steps…and …now._

_The music stops them and calms my heart. It's her miracle, this star-shaped locket. She gave it to me last night. I don't know its story, but I can feel her in it so I'll keep it close forever. One solid memory of a life I could only have dreamt._

_They stand still for the entire time I tell them the story of her choice._

_They can live and be reborn and so on until the future they wait for will come. She didn't bind them to her choice. She set them all free._

###

Seiya looked behind as we woke up. The storm passed along with his dream. His princess was waiting. But so was his life.

"I still have a reason to be here. This is my home."


	17. Smitten with dreams of falling

"Don't worry, I'm here. I'm sorry I left. You should stay dry," his voice woke her up and a sharp pain went throw her knee. "You're pretty clumsy you know?"

"And you run too fast. It stopped raining," she noticed they were dry.

"Hours ago."

"I ran to catch you and explain and then I fell and…"

"And I found you. You know how it goes: if you haven't found me, I would have found you."

"I didn't mean what I said. It's not like that."

"I know. We are connected somehow. I can still see a future…for us," he said and watched her blush. "You saw it too!"

"But I have to tell you what I chose for my future."

"You'll use your crystal to put yourself in a sleeping state till 30th century."

She watched him say the words like it wasn't news, like he wasn't mad. He said it like he understood.

"I know because I'll be the one standing next to you when you'll do it," he explained, as she grew tears into her eyes. "Don't cry. You won't cry then, why do it now. In my …vision…of the future, it seemed I understood. So even if you chose this because of him or because of you…I'll understand."

She begins to violently move her head in denial.

"It's not only because of Mamo-chan and it's not only for me."

"You said you don't want to love…"

"Seiya…I don't want to leave you. Can you imagine how hard it is to live life after life bound to the same person and then fulfill your destiny with another, that you love since forever?"

He froze. He never thought about it like that and once she said it, it made sense for her to bring things to a normal path, with one life, one love. She wasn't taking lives and chances away from him; she was giving him this live.

"But now…will you stay with me Tsukino Usagi?"

"I _am_ kind of cold…and it's warm here…"

Wrapping the blanket even tighter, Seiya is satisfied with her answer. The room where he stood ill and tried to keep her is now the room where she feels warm.

And nothing else matters when Seiya reaches his hand to cover hers and she stays there, with her little nose buried deep in the shirt he gave her. Sometimes, when you fall, you fly.

Only one sees this choice. Their shine travels to the Gates of Time and Pluto sees them in the Mirror. Ready to destroy it, and set everyone free, including herself, she ponders on the power she felt intoxicated with all this time because of it.

"We thought we make the future and protect it from enemies, but we filled it with pain and suffering instead."

The water like reflections on the surface of the Mirror stopped her from sealing it right then and there. Getting closer, she saw the wire unfolding over the future. And the temptation was too great. Letting her weapon aside, she said the words that made her the protector of time and the Mirror begins to show her why all of this happened.

She saw the future, from the moment Serenity came to thank Seiya up until Chibiusa traveled back and took her father with her.

The threads of time connect strange events. You never know what a change can bring. As the story unfolded, the present was mirrored in a sick future, one waiting for decisions to be made and for the fabric of time to heal.

In Usagi's life, this is the first time she sleeps to wake up free. Seiya smiles in content watching her sleep. Yes, she'll need time to heal, but then again, he has time. Just as much as everyone else. And tomorrow his new mission starts, to make Usagi realize how much their chance matters. He wished once to have met her sooner. Now he wishes to make everyday count.

"Pluto, you're back!"

"I watched Small Lady take Endymion back safely. And then I destroyed the Mirror of Fate. The gates of time are closed and my future self did the same. We are all free. Blind, but free."

"I wonder what happened in the future that made things so complicated."

Pluto said nothing about the images she saw in the Mirror of Fate. The present was all that mattered now.

"Will she be alright Pluto?"

"My only power now is to hope Uranus. Just like you. For now, she's safe with Seiya-kun."

"Really? I wish you could see the future one more time. For his sake, I hope he doesn't take advantage of her frail state."

"Ne Uranus, old habits die hard. But you know you can trust him."

"…Yes, I know."

"What now Michiru."

"I still have a concert planned in two weeks. Everybody forgot about the fight with Galaxia so I think we're back to …living."

"Doesn't sound bad."

"Not at all."

"I still think I should check on koneko-chan in the morning," Haruka insisted bringing a little chuckle on Michiru and Setsuna's lips.

"We'll visit them. Now…don't you want a warm cup of coffee…"


	18. Mesmerizing nevermore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This second part explains what happens in the future after the past changes and how times, future and present, are intertwined to make a destiny.

" __ **If you need to leave the world you live in**  
Lay your head down and stay a while  
Though you may not remember dreaming  
Something waits for you to breathe again"

_**Evanescence - Imaginary** _

 

Soft giggles reach her ears and she wants to go see. With all the commotion around, in the palace, she can still find her way listening to the sound. And then she reaches her mother's chamber. Peeking inside, she sees her smiling a warm smile and trying to hide a sweet crimson cheek.

 

"Mama…What have you done?"

Her scolding voice echoes in the beautiful palace of Cristal Tokyo.

The intrusion of this voice scared the queen, like in the distant past, when Shingo, her once little brother, just walked into her room without knocking.

"Chibiusa, what about Pluto's manner lessons. I knew it, you are just like me."

"Hey, I'm not like you…I mean, I was curious, but the door was open and I could hear your giggles from the other side of the palace."

"Oh…really?"

"And why are you blushing? Tell me, what have you done Mama?"

"Well, why don't you try not to be a curious cat? I have Luna for that."

"It's my birthday and I want to know."

"I suspect… you suspect…hihi…that it has something to do with your birthday, but I'm the queen and I don't have to tell you anything. But yes, it's a surprise for you."

Serenity can see the joy in her daughter's eyes and all the guilt that maybe she had for breaking a rule vanishes.

"Can you tell me sooner…the surprise? We don't have to wait untill tonight. And then, think about it. If you tell me tonight, I just know daddy will have a better surprise for me and you will feel bad. So, if you tell me now…it's …for both of us."

"Sneaky…little…princess. What do you mean daddy has a better surprise. What do you know, spill it out. Where is Endymion. He left early today."

"That's how I know he's onto something big. He had a huge smile this morning. He came to my room, gave me a kiss and said to wait for him tonight."

"That's all? And no message for me?"

"Don't pout. He said that I should tell you to wake up earlier."

"Hey, don't laugh and I don't believe you. I bet he told you to tell me that he loves me even more today, because I'm your mother. Hihi, I bet that was the message."

"Dream on… Odango."

That nickname kicked her back to the reality of what she did.

"Chibiusa, where is Seiya?"

***

"Come on Seiya, this is going to be great. I can't wait to see the look on their faces."

"Endymion, this is a good idea for a present, but couldn't it wait for after the celebrations? We would have everyone's help."

"Yes, but then it will be everyone's surprise. Don't tell me you don't want Chibiusa …and Serenity thanking YOU for restoring the old Silver Millennium."

"Maybe I do. But this can be dangerous and it's a lot of work for two people."

"Maybe you should remember more often I'm king."

"Yes, your great highness, prince of princes, and god over the Earth."

"Don't joke around. I'm only saying that I have powers and it's not like we are two ordinary men. I didn't say it to make you show more respect. I know there's no hope for you."

"Good one. Touche, what can I say? Oh, I know. One: I do respect you, you're my friend. Two: Your powers come from the Earth; maybe they aren't so great on the Moon. And three:…I'm…you know…"

"You're just a man."

"Immortal man, but yes, that's the idea. I don't know how my great body will respond to a trip in outer space."

"I'll help. And Mercury gave me an idea, without knowing it. Put this on your wrist. Look, I don't say it's without risk, but I can't do this on my own and I know you love them enough to try. It's the best gift I can give to my love and my daughter. One to see her home again and the other to understand a piece of our past. Our distant past. And maybe it's reckless, but you're used to reckless."

"Not funny. And yes, it is a reckless mission, and that's strange coming from you. But I understand the reasons and I'm all in. If I can get there in one piece, that is."

"Let's go."

The ever present and cold moon glimmers in the eyes of the king. The idea crept inside of him for years now. To restore the beauty of Silver Millennium, that was one thing he will do for his two loves. Serenity often talked about using the Silver Cristal to revive the Moon. But he couldn't allow it, not in a million years and not with all her reassurance that she is strong now would he risk losing her. This will be his gift, his thanks for all the times she saved Earth. She deserved it. She deserved everything.

He knows only Seiya would help him without question. Ever since the distant past, when he helped Usagi against Galaxia, Seiya was the first one to count on.

"Seiya, remember the time when you decided to stay an Earth, after the battle with Galaxia?"

"Mhm"

Of course he would remember. His curse was never to forget. After countless years, he still remembers the love that kept him from leaving with his kind. He remembers feeling sick in the beginning every time he didn't get to her soon enough and he saw them together over the lifetimes and the long "breaks" he took from time to time away from them. In those long breaks, he would go over the seas and sing again. For her, for his Odango.

And of course he can remember that night when he chose to be an immortal man, without powers and above all, and above all, he remembers the first kiss.

That flame in him never died. He loves her now just as he loved her then, when she ran away from him, believing he misled her with his sickness. He remembered the balcony when he went to apologize, he remembered seeing them together in the room and the pounding thought that he should save her from her destiny. But then, she was happy with Mamoru, and he stood there, convinced his time will come. He gave his time to her. And she accepted him around, more and more often.

He remembers the occasional fights with Uranus, when she came to remind him Usagi wasn't his to love. And the other entire long talks over a cup of tea, when he shared with Haruka his thoughts. Come to think of it, Uranus was his friend after all.

Time passed and Seiya accepted even the man next to her. Mamoru was kind and trusted him. He knew the former starlight loved Usagi, but trusted him in a way Seiya couldn't understand even now. If you can't beat him, join him, he thought back then. But what started as a "keep your enemy close" transformed into a friendship ever since the beginning of Cristal Tokyo.

Having Mamoru as a friend was for him another way to stop his crazy impulse of carrying her away. For Mamoru, and for her, Seiya stood there, close and loyal.

And sometimes, even if he froze looking at her while she ate and she would realize and give him that sad "I'm sorry, I love you, but not that way" look, he would thank her and make fun of her and let it all get by with a cocky joke.

"Are you listening Seiya?"

"Yes. I remember that time. What about it?"

"I know you stayed for her."

"I know you know. I wasn't very mysterious about it."

"Yes but…I knew because she told me."

"I figured that out. But what I couldn't figure out was why you accepted me near her. If I was you…"

"I understand you."

"Oh…another one. Look, the time for pity, if it was such time, it's gone, so stop..."

"No, don't take it like that. I just know how it is to love her. And I knew, back then, that you protected her when I couldn't. You deserved to be there for her in good times, like in the worst times. And now, after …how many lives?"

"Too many."

"Well, now, I realize you were there in every one of them. We forgot the past, you didn't. That must be hard."

"Not really, I can remember Usagi as a blond, a brunette, long hair, short..."

"Hey, I'm trying to say something. I love her more than my life, I did every time we met in so many lives, and now, in Cristal Tokyo, it's the same. I hope you understand that not destiny trapped her to me. It's just love."

"I know ok, I know."

"And the sacrifice you made…I hope you feel that it was worth it. That's all.

She still believes you left that night after the battle with Galaxia. I think it was her way to cope with the grief of hurting you."

"It was…I'm ok. We're all happy, right? Right?"

***

Meanwhile, on Earth, mother and daughter have time to talk.

"Well, Chibiusa, do you know where Seiya is?"

"Hm…come to think of it, I don't know. I saw him this morning. But he didn't give me any present, just said happy birthday and then he left. I was too busy receiving gifts that I kinda forgot about him."

"Some babysitter."

"He's my friend, not my babysitter. I don't need a babysitter, I'm 8."

"Not yet…Chibi-chibi-usaaa"

"Why you…"

The two started with a fight and ended with a hug. Growing up, Chibiusa started to show her heritage. She was the splitting image of her mother from the time Usagi was 8. Golden hair, blue eyes and the warmth that filled every creature so full of dreams.

"Come on Chibiusa, let's pick the roses for tonight. I like the red ones."

"Like I didn't know that. Daddy likes the red ones too. And Seiya. At least, I think so. He sometimes stays here so much I get bored in spying on him."

"Seiya?"

"Yes, he keeps starring at the roses, but when I offered to pick some for him, he said no. He's very weird sometimes."

"He's just old. Or so he says. He lived different than us on his planet. You better listen to him and try to be less annoying, if that's possible."

"Old? The maids in the palace say he's one of the hottest guys on the planet. And if you want to know, you're the one annoying Seiya more, because every time I spy on him and he's asleep on our picnics, he says your name. Odangooo."

The queen winced.

"Chibiusa, do you remember when you met Seiya?"

"Yes. I was 2. I thought he was a pigheaded jerk. I put his patience to the test. And I think he didn't liked me too much either. I guess me shouting and begging papa to send him away from the palace didn't help.

I remember daddy said he wouldn't do it…anymore. I asked papa years latter what did he mean by "anymore" and he told me Seiya came to meet me only when I was 2 because he was gone. I thought it was because of me. And I felt so bad after that. I was small and stupid, but I cared about him, even if he didn't. And he got hurt because of me."

"That's not true. He adored you from the moment he came back and met you. I can see clearly the day you came into the world. You father burned tracks outside my chambers door. He was even more scared than I was. And the moment the doctors put you in my arms he rushed into the room like a child. 

Your father held you and kissed your little fingers. If Seiya would have been there, he would have loved you too. It was the happiest day of my life the day you were born. But then, when Seiya came back and I could see him caring for you…I felt that somehow my happiness was complete. You never met him until you were 2, but Uranus and the others told him about you in the past.

You see, time is a complicated thing. But you traveled to the past and, as I told you, you came to see your father and me in the 20th century. So, you see, Seiya already knew you from the past, from all the stories we told him."

"He was always so sad and angry looking at me. It made me want to annoy him even more."

"Seiya was the one taking care of you when the girls were away and every time your father and I needed time."

"I know, I love him now. I would do anything to bring back time and say I'm sorry. Uranus said it was hard for him to come back. But now I know he loves me and forgives me for just about anything. But I'm going to punish him if he forgets to bring a present."

They both laughed and made circles holding hands in the middle of the garden. But Serenity had to tell her daughter about the visit to the past. Somehow, the thought made her uneasy.

"Chibiusa, I asked you if you remember because one of my surprises for you is about Seiya."

"You're cheap again and you're trying to give me a present together. Two people, two presents. I'm not bargaining."

"Hey, no, it's not like that. I … visited Seiya today."

"He didn't tell me."

"I mean in the past. In the days of the past when he was about to leave back to his planet after the battle with Galaxia"

"That's strange."

"I thanked him for all the care he gives you now and prepared him for the moment of your birth."

"Why?"

"So that you will get along from the beginning. And so he wouldn't leave again. And to make sure that we won't have to live those moments again."

"So, you changed the past…I mean…future? It's so hard to understand this."

"Yes. I changed it. And tonight, after the clock strikes 12, your mind will have new memories from the time he was gone. Two years."

"You're not so good at explaining things, but if I can have this, then it's the best present. Maybe I'll ask Puu to explain this future-past-future thing."

"No! No one can find out. Please. Just you and me."

"Arigatou mama."

***

On his way to the Moon, Endymion was proud of his idea. To rebuild the Moon empire as a gift for his queen and his daughter. And he was thankful that Seiya was there to help him.

"My daughter is lucky to have you. As a friend and as a protector and teacher."

"Chibiusa…I'm glad I got to know her. Now, let's focus, I don't wanna lose focus here in outer space. Let's just get to the Moon."

"Not in a conversation mood. Fine, come on, keep up."

"Oh, I'll be there before you."

Seiya was suddenly not in the mood to talk because a flash went before his eyes. Usagi's room, in the morning, so many years ago, when we went there, with one hand bleeding, and his heart torn, to give back her communicator and ask for forgiveness. And instead of Usagi, a surreal creature appeared from the future, to thank him for caring about Chibiusa and ask a favor. Back then, he had just a faint idea who Chibiusa was.

_Odango, today is the day you went to the past to see me. Today you come back to 20th century and talked to me about my future with you and your daughter._

Seiya thought back to when Cristal Tokyo finally came. Usagi-the-girl was reborn as the queen and, in time, as the mother.

He remembers so vivid the days in the beginning of Cristal Tokyo, years ago, when he thought he's going to do the impossible… and simply die…


	19. Smashers' Enchiridion

_It was the start of the much awaited Crystal Tokyo. She told me she remembers the past on the Moon, and the past in 20th century and she thanked me for being there with her in her most important life._

_Her oblivious behavior infuriated me. I knew, from what Pluto and the others told me, that she won't remember past her life as Usagi in 20th century._

_She won't remember her lives with me. But I still had my hopes. She shattered them. So a couple of days after the announcement, tricking the outers again and with a lot of past experience, I confessed that I love her._

_She was frightened and sad, but she was much wiser than her Usagi form. She said that from what she remembered from the past with Galaxia, she figured out my feelings and no matter how much she wanted to say sorry again for my one-sided love, she never did because she thought I was over it. Like that can happen._

_So it wasn't that hard to tell her, but it was hard to watch her have the same reaction like back in the days._

_Shortly after that, she told me she would marry Endymion, again. And forever this time, as an immortal queen. And she asked me to leave._

_I guess compared to me, hundreds of years old, she was still a child in mind. I told her to go ahead and marry him; it's what she waited for. And she started to cry._

_That made me mad as hell. Because deep down, I thought she cries because now the last chance of me taking her away is dead. I thought she cries because …After long and intense training to cope with all the love I had for her, it only took one tear I believed to be mine and she was in my arms._

_Tight in my arms, in one of the white chambers of the palace she and Endymion built, maybe with him in the other room. I didn't care._

_She buried her face in my jacket and I was 17 again. So I lifted her face to mine to steal another kiss, after so, so long. But then I stopped, her face was tearing my heart to pieces. She was scared, and her eyes begged me not to ruin everything by kissing her again, now._

" _Odango…I 'm not here because I have to. I have to be a moron and a forever hot guy; but I don't HAVE to be here. I WANT to be here. Because I love you and you may choose to forget that, but I choose never too"._

_She stared at me with those beautiful eyes and sobbed._

" _I didn't. I didn't forget, I never chose to forget. Just that it breaks my heart to know you still suffer. So it may be best if I tried and get you home. It's been a long time since you are away from them. Maybe…"._

_I snapped. Because she DID forget. And she had no more rights than I had._

_"Don't send me away. I'm not yours to send, Odango. And you are not mine to listen to. I'll stay. My life, my reasons. And I'm happy for the two of you, but from now on, enough with the guilt, and sorry and compassion. Ok?"._

_I put my hands on her shoulders and made her smile with my smile. It was a deal._

_And if my heart would have been intact, that moment would have broken it again._

Even if so bad, that day wasn't half as bad as the other dreadful day for Seiya.

On a personal top 2, the real winner of number one place forever more was the day in which all hell broke loose.

For two years after Usagi told him she was going to become a Queen, at Endymions' side, Seiya struggled to accept the fact that he will never have another chance with her because she will never go in the deep sleep that brought another life. And he will never be able to tell her about the past, about the lives when she choose him over Mamoru. She was lost forever.

He had to make up a full story about him being young forever, even if not a senshi.

Pluto and the outer senshi were the only ones who remembered the past completely, with every lifetime they had. It was necessary for them to remember, because their mission was to keep him away from interfering with Usagis' destiny.

Over the centuries, he tricked them a few times and they made peace afterwards, with the sole condition that the beginning of Cristal Tokyo was the end of line for him.

Pluto warned him that if he should ever try to make Usagi remember the past, she will suspend him in the limbo-the never ending dream of the subconscious. It was their only weapon against him, discovered after many years of tactics, and the only one effective for an immortal.

He complied but with much struggle. The years amount of memories he had with Usagi made it hard for him. So one day, enraged by another visit from Uranus, warning him to stay away from Serenity with every cost for a few years, he slipped.

He decided to go and make her remember, even if it cost him the punishment Pluto had in stored.

_I searched for her and when I did found her, she was unusually happy. I thought it was a good moment as any. But from the moment I found her to the moment I ran into the gardens, waiting the inevitable, it was all a big blur of words and tears._

" _But I am free. And now, I'm complete."_

_I have no idea why, but the words scare me just as much as her calm features. She IS a ghost after all. She must be, because she seems to look right through me._

" _No…you're not. Listen to me! I'm here to remind you. Of me!"_

_I don't know what made her snap; my words or Endymions' footsteps. But she turned away from me and ran to him with her arms defensively placed. I'm confused. She takes his arm and they walk away._

_And maybe I was imagining that too, but I saw her eyes look deeply into mine. They were clouded with tears._

_Confused by her look and her strange behavior and still fuming, Seiya retreated to the gardens, the only place where he found his peace._

_Outside was a hot day, and roses filled the air with their scent. Seiya was remembering the other lives, and the hopes the girls had for this future._

_Now, since the beginning of Cristal Tokyo, in peace and harmony, all of them were happy. And maybe he was happy. Maybe he should give up his crazy dream of making her remember._

_The torture of not forgetting was smaller now because he learned to enjoy the little memories and put aside the pain of not having her in the way he wanted and the sadness of not seeing his brothers for so long._

_He stood there for hours, in his favorite place. Since that day in the past, on the roof, when she snapped in front of him, because of the rose he used to scare the enemy, he never picked up another one. He just likes them a lot and can keep starring at them because somehow, they remind him of her. Ironic, he knew._

_Too soon for him to have calmed down, Serenity came to talk to him about the most important thing in her life._

_He felt the fain aroma. Like a devoted pet, he knew she was near. And she was sad. He never had to turn around to know that. After so many lives, he feels her the same way he feels the back of his own heart even if she doesn't feel him at all._

_"Seiya…remember what you said to me when I told you to go live your own life 2 years ago?"_

_"I do."_

_"You said the pain of staying with me is nothing, is joy compared to what it will be if I sent you away."_

_"That's not exactly my line but…Long time gone since the last conversation on this subject. What's up?"_

_"I know those were not your words. But that's how you felt. Oh…Can you turn around please?"_

_"Neah…you'll see my perfect self and lose your words. What's up Odango?"_

_He knew something was wrong. They barely spoke about the situation between them. It was just…there. Her and him, a friend. No more consolation words, no more nothing since Cristal Tokyo began._

_It was his request the day when Endymion and Serenity became king and queen 2 years ago and from that day…no serious discussion._

_Her pleading words woke him from the reverie._

_"Please, turn around Seiya. It's very important."_

_"That's what I'm afraid of."_

_"If you remember that day, 2 years ago, before the wedding, I did my best to help you understand it's better for you to leave."_

_"No, it was better for you that I should leave."_

_"Stop that. Why do you do that?"_

_"Why? What is it that you want me to know? Just say it. I'm a big boy. I feel like hundreds of years old."_

_"You can feel it, don't you? That's why you came to see me earlier."_

_"No, that's not why. And I can feel…something. I'm afraid to find out what it is."_

_"This time I can't say I'm sorry Seiya. Please. Listen and then be happy."_

_"You're going in a second honeymoon? Do you want me to go on a blind date again? Do you want me to command an army far away? The last one would make me happy right now. Say it! You want me to go visit my brothers? It's been 2 years since THAT discussion; I guess you thought you can tell me to leave. Tell me already Odango! Ask me whatever…"_

_"I'm pregnant. I'm expecting Chibiusa. And this time I'm asking you to stay."_

_"…"_

_Serenity lost her words and her composure after seeing his reaction._

" _He's just a breath away. He turns around. He's staring at me. I can see in his eyes that all the things he said are just excuses. He knows. The last times I saw this much pain in his eyes was in his room, centuries ago, when he confessed his love and earlier, when he came to see me. I knew from the look in his eyes he was there to say it again. And like a fool, I thought he was over this impossible love._

_But now, I can't see beyond the pain. Until now he had hope, and anger maybe. But now, beyond his pain, there's nothingness," she thinks and feels horrified with herself for putting him trough this._

" _His forehead collapses gently onto mine. I can barely feel his breath on my skin it's so faint. I wish he could say something. I know his every pose and every trick and every expression. But I can't read him now. I wish he would just open his eyes. Those eyes that confused me back then and even now make my heart skip a beat."_

_"You know, being human is a pain in the ass," Seiya finally says. "Because I can't feel my heart beating and I don't want to ever open my eyes again, but I know I'm alive now and no matter how empty, I'll always be alive after you kill me."_

_"Seiya…"_

_"Shh."_

" _His warm hand; that's how I know he's alive. The warm hand he puts on my cheek. This caress makes me feel guilty for a second for being here with him alone, for asking my love Endymion to let me search for him and tell him myself. I panicked earlier when he came into the ballroom and saw us. I thought he was going to say something. But he didn't, because he doesn't want this to be hard for Seiya. Neither of us does._

_Is it real? This shaking warm hand, so fragile now it gives me the impression that for the first time in history, I'm the one powerful enough to catch him if he falls? Maybe not that strong. Because under his hand I feel tears. Out of nowhere."_

_"Don't cry Odango. It's my fault."_

_"Open you eyes," she asks him._

" _She's asking me to open my eyes. Why? It's not like a dead man can see. I knew what she was going to tell me. I felt her. And the light inside of her. And I prepared myself for this from the moment Haruka told me, back then, what her future was._

_I planned to smile and congratulate her and then, if the pain was too much, to wait until she went away and then crawl in a hole and do …the next thing to dieing. Or maybe visit Haruka and let her beat me senseless. But now, to stand here, with my forehead on hers, and my hand on her skin, I can't even feel like before._

_Every time I had her near, my whole body ached telling me I was made for her. And the smell of her skin was with me before I came to Earth. I was convinced every time that after this lifetime there will be another and the fate will forget about Mamoru and let her be mine. Just for another while._

_Now, I can't feel her. For the first time in all my life, I can't feel her skin or her breath. I can't feel pain, or love or anger. I can only hear her, telling me to open my eyes. So be it."_

_Defeated, Seiya listens to her and opens his eyes, only to comfort her._

_"I'm sorry Serenity; I told you it's not your fault. I thought I'll be wiser by now. You don't have to put up with my moods. Hey, you'll have enough of those from now on, right? I can't tell you I'm happy right now. Right now I'm…here."_

_She could see him trying to speak. Hard and forcing every word. She let her every guard down and did something she never thought she will. Gently holding his face, she kissed his forehead and stood there. Giving him, with every second and with the help of the Silver Crystal, the power to cope with her words._

_From afar, two gracious figures make their way through the garden._

_"Uranus, isn't that…"_

_"It's them. I guess he knows by now."_

_Uranus and Neptune stood there for just a minute. It was enough to see the glowing light engulfing Serenity and Seiya. And then, just as before the princess had her lips to his forehead, the two outer senshi saw the immortal Seiya putting his hand on the queens' belly._

_"You don't look worried Uranus."_

_"It's because I'm not."_

_"Not even now? Look."_

_Seiya was on his knees with his temple on the place where soon a child will grow._

_"You think we should go to her?"_

_"No. Neptune, let him be."_

_"Yes but what is he doing?"_

_"He experiences death…Hm. Will you please wait for me in our quarters? I'll be with you in a second."_

_"You said we should leave them. She's not in danger."_

_"No, but he is. Please."_

_"Don't do anything I wouldn't do."_

_"Me? Never."_

_Haruka closed the gap between her and the two who appeared like statues now._

_"Queen Serenity…"_

_No reaction._

_"Queen Serenity…Endimyon was looking for you just now. You should go."_

_She backed away from Seiya in a heartbeat leaving him still in his knees, listening to a sound known only to him._

_Her big blue eyes searched into Harukas' for a tinny moment, just to make sure her sailor will not kill Seiya after she's gone. And then disappeared in the sea of flowers._

_"Get up, you're pathetic."_

_"No, you're the pathetic one. Coming here to send her away. You're still afraid she might take my hand and let me steal her. I think you're more resilient than me in this fantasy. I've given up believing. Therefore, you coming here and lie to her is just…- but the determination in his mocking words soon disappeared-…Thank you. That's why you came the other day and warned me to stay away…"_

_Seiya rose to his feet and stood tall in front of Uranus._

_"Wanna fight?"_

_"No."_

_"Wanna talk?"_

_"No Uranus. I'm not the 17 years old hot alien you met so long ago. I remember that night after you came to take Usagi and I was sick because I choose to be a human. That was pretty much a girl talk."_

_"Son of a ..."_

_"No offense. I'm saying that I was weak. I don't beg. Never did and never believed I will. Back then I didn't beg her. I'm smart enough to know beggars get help, not love. She just had to listen to me when I say I love her. A fact, not a proposition."_

_"Stop trying to be brave. You had hopes."_

_"Of course, you told me I'm a fighter. I still had hopes until 2 years ago when she became queen. But after that, I didn't know my place anymore…"_

_He remembered the other dreadful day in this lifetime. The day when she became Endymions' queen._

_Harukas' moking tone makes him focus again._

_"You had a place?"_

_"Remember I was the first one there with her in every life since then. I took care of her until you shown up. I didn't need to grow up or remember. One of the perks of being immortal and never having to forget."_

_"You also…stole her from us a few times. But…you took care of her, I'll give you that. We had some number of lives after the battle with Chaos. Not even a single enemy. Except you of course. Anyway, you're one of us now. Even if she doesn't know you're immortal. You're job is to protect her and the Small Lady."_

_"I don't know if I can. I have to go."_

_"You know my room if you reconsider the possibility of a fight. I promise I won't be gentle."_

_"Were you ever?"_

_Uranus watched Seiya leave. Tinny changes of the wind told her Seiya wasn't the same anymore. And she was, of course, right._

_After that day no one saw Seiya until Chibiusa was 2._

_When he came back they didn't ask where or why, not even the king. He was back, helping around and making Chibiusa eat her breakfast when Endymion wasn't there._

_Things between them seemed all right. Serenity was too happy and careful with her growing child and he was too busy joining everybody in fulfilling the toddlers' every wish._

Those were the very darkest days Seiya had.

Today was Chibiusas' 8th birthday and the celebration for a decade of peaceful and prosper Cristal Tokyo.

The king and Seiya are on their way to the Moon, to prepare the biggest present for Chibiusa and Serenity.

"Endymion, listen, I have to tell you something."

Remembering that today is the day that Queen Serenity went to the past, Seiya had, for the smallest moment, the urge to tell Endymion that was the reason he was here. She caused a change in the future.

"In the mood to talk now? We're almost on the Moon."

"I…thought a little of the past."

"Close past or distant past."

"Both I guess."

"And?"

"There's something you should know about the night Usagi called you. After she saw me and I told her I'll stay on Earth and I…"

"I remember, even if it's centuries ago. What about it?"

"She…"

"Wait! What is THAT! Seiya, look out!"


	20. Crimson colored chaos

In front of the two, a small black object emitted a dark ray that almost hit Seiya. It started to flicker and black vines came out to capture the two. On the deserted landscape, that small dot looked like a black hole in the beautiful solar system. And behaved like one. Surprised by the attack, Seiya and Endymion collapsed on the dusty surface of the Moon.

"What the hell was that?" Seiya asked as soon as the black ropes disappeared.

"I have no idea. I don't understand how this is possible. How can something evil still exist so close to us without being sensed?"

"Question later, fight now. Look out!"

Seiya tried to be as fast as he could, but the fact that he had no powers didn't help. Still, he could move close enough to the dark ray to deflect it.

"Whatever it is, it wants you."

"Take my sword and leave. Its magic will help you get to Earth. Get help."

"I'm not leaving you alone."

"You're not helping much Seiya. I don't want to worry about you."

"Oh, excuse me prince for being such a burden. You should however remember I just saved your b…"

"Ok, ok, but I still think we need help. Here comes again."

The power of the black ray was overwhelming. Those strings of death came fast, with a bone chilling sound and the marks on the ground where they hit looked like war damage.

"We need to get close to that point of origin."

"I know Seiya, but the rays are coming faster and increase in numbers."

Endymions' sword helped them for now. It was able to deflect and cut the rays, but all those impacts left a mark.

"My sword is getting black. What kind of dark energy is this? Seiya, get out of here and get help."

"Not an option."

"We can't beat this if we have no idea what IT IS."

"Can't you use your powers to send a message to Earth?"

"I haven't tried in ages."

"Well…correct me if I'm wrong, but that skill would come in handy now."

"Take my sword and try stopping the rays. I'll transform and maybe Serenity will feel it. Back in the old days, I could always feel when she was in danger."

"Go ahead."

Endymion changed, in a blink of an eye, into Tuxedo Kamen. But that blink of an eye was too long and Seiya was charged with thousands of black rays. So many, that they obscured the view to Earth, to light. They came like a tide, roaring and rising dust, rocks and thunders. Before Tuxedo Kamen could do anything, he was swallowed by darkness.

"Endimyon nooo!" Left without the kings' power, Seiya started to fall and choke. A ray caught him and then he felt nothing.

"What is this? I feel like I'm outside my body. And it's so cold. I was too late. My transformation didn't help. I hope Usako received my message. Kami-sama, I hope she will not come alone if she did. Seiya, where is he?"

With no light around, Seiya floated too in a dense space of nothingness.

"I failed. All I had to do was protect us for a couple of seconds, but I failed. She will never forgive me if something happens to Endymion. Where is he? Am I dead? This nothingness is the death of an immortal?"

The small dark dot on the Moon became a little bigger. It flashed with light for a moment, and then nothing again.

On Earth, Chibiusa and Serenity had more time to themselves.

"Mama…you said you went to the past. Seiya won't leave again right? And he will forget that I hurt him."

"Yes, I hope that is what will happen. Why?"

"I was wondering…even if I felt so sorry and he was hurt, the fact that we went throw that experience wasn't a lesson?"

"Oh Chibiusa, you are wise, you learned a lot from Pluto. But in this case, I don't believe it. No one should have suffered. You both deserve happiness. So I went to the past and thanked him for taking care of you so that he will know the moment he meets you that you love him and he cares deeply about you. And I'll be able to prevent that fight."

"It must have been confusing for him to listen to you."

"Hihi, yes, I think it was."

The two picked out some roses from the garden and Chibiusa went to put them throughout the palace. Serenity took her time into the garden, looking at the endless sea of flowers, still questioning her decision to go back in time.

"My Queen."

She turned her head so fast it made her dizzy. But seeing her face made her calm again.

"Uranus, I must admit you always knew how to scare me."

"It was never my intention."

"Oh, but it was, sometimes."

Her sweet giggle made Haruka smile and come closer. But then the wind senshi became serious and a little sad. Serenity straightened herself.

"What is it Uranus?"

"I have to talk to you about something very important my Queen."

"Don't tell me you don't have a gift for Chibiusa, she will kill you."

The joke had no effect on Uranus, and Serenity realized that look on her face she haven't seen in years.

"I'm listening."

"It's about what you did today."

Another joke came in mind, but the boom in her heart told her it's no time for joke and Haruka knew something very important.

"I…"

"You can't lie. It's not what you do. And I'm very surprised you could keep this a secret."

"Actually, I told Chibiusa about it. And when I can find him, I'll tell Seiya too."

"He knows already."

"What? How can he remember past lives already?"

"For him, it's not past life. This is what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Haruka, you're scaring me for real, please stop. What are you talking about?"

"Serenity, Seiya remembers the past, after the last battle with Galaxia, and every life since then, because he's been there in every one of them."

"That's insane. I remember him leaving with the Starlights after Galaxia. And if he can remember other lives, why can't I or any of the girls?"

"You can't remember that because it's easier to handle than the truth. The truth is he didn't left that night. And because you went back in time and told him about Chibiusa and all, you changed the future. He's there next to you, to us, in every life and now in Cristal Tokyo."

"But he told me he has no powers and that he was sent by his princess to protect us while we waited for the awakening. How can that be?"

"He's not a senshi anymore. But he is immortal."

"Oh my…And he said nothing. Nothing. I, I…"

"Don't be mad. He kept silent because if you remember, you will suffer for him and all he did was to stay close. And…because we threatened him. I'm sorry. "

"But it's my right to remember. How could he lie? And how could YOU. I can't even start to say how wrong that is. I'm nothing to you? I'm a queen and I still don't have your respect? How could you…"

"To protect you. We did a lot of things to protect you. _He_ did a lot of things to protect you. You won't remember now even if you try and maybe you shouldn't."

"Quiet Uranus! How can you hold back my past from me?"

Her demanding tone takes Uranus aback, and the glowing light that engulfs her even more so. The queen levitates like an apparition, her wings spread in all their white. The moon on her forehead glows and she closes her eyes in prayer. But after that, nothing. Lines of concentration appeared on her face and then they slowly transformed into lines of frustration.

"I can't remember. I don't know…How could you do this to me? What did I miss?"

"I'm sorry my queen. Pluto gave the order. And she can't be here anymore. From the change, she stays at the Gates of time, and that is why no one can see her."

Serenity stood there on the bed of flowers disappointed and crushed. The effort has been immense, and vague lines of fatigue on her face made her seem older.

The lost image of her queen scared Haruka. It was important for her to know the events in the past, but this reaction was so much worse than anything anticipated.

Over the times, Haruka kept a close eye on Seiya and Serenity. She trusted Usagi and her love for Mamoru. But every other life, the connection between the princess and Seiya was so powerful that Pluto needed to check on the future to make sure it was still there and the same.

Yes, Serenity loved Endimyon more than life itself, because he was the one for her. But no matter how much she ignores it, it was obvious for the wind senshi that the princess felt more than friendship for Seiya. Haruka was sure about it and that freaked her out. And this reaction confirmed it.

The Queen felt powerless and guilty because she always knew Seiya was more to her. Inside her, something kept telling her he was more than a friend. She needed him in an inexplicable way that both scared her and completed her when he was near.

The way Serenity clutched the heart necklace Endymion gave her was a sign for Uranus that she was right in her deduction and the queen felt something deeper for the immortal Seiya and that confused her. Like anticipated, this confusion would only keep her divided and unable to find the missing King.

Serenity was thinking about Endimyon. And she was questioning the only thing that made her the most powerful being in the solar system: her pure love for everything.

"My queen, leave those thoughts. You're not right."

"You read minds now Uranus?"

"I can read you. Don't doubt yourself. It's not your fault. It's not A FAULT. Tell me, isn't it great to have Seiya here, as a friend?"

"Yes but…"

"It was his choice. Never doubt it. End he doesn't suffer seeing you with the King. I know. He talks to me. If I had any doubt he would do something stupid, I would have killed him years ago."

"Haruka, but I think I…"

"I know. I guess I knew from that moment in the past when you went to see him against our wishes. This doesn't make you bad, just confused."

"How is it that I'm not bad? I'm the worst. I don't deserve Endymion."

"Stop that."

"But it's true. He loves only me. And I think…"

"Serenity… can you imagine yourself NOW with someone else?"

The queen closed her teary eyes for only a second. Then she answered with confidence.

"No."

"See? You are destined to be with Endymion because your heart chooses it. It's not the other way around. I know you must feel sad about Seiya, but remember that he wanted your friendship in the end, not your love. I think I respect him for that."

Serenity wiped her tears and hugged Haruka. Her kind words made a difference. But in her heart the problem was far from being solved. Someone else knew now her feelings about Seiya. And that someone wasn't Seiya. And she was still clueless about the past Haruka said they had together _._

 _If my heart hurts like this now, how will I feel when I'll remember it all_?

"I' sorry to have to say this to you, but… I wouldn't have done this if it wasn't very important. Minutes ago Pluto contacted me."

"What? You just said…"

"She contacts us only when absolutely necessary."

"What happened?

"The king is gone. Pluto can't see him anymore. I…I don't see him either."

How many times a heart can speed up in one day. How can a heart beat like a humming birds' wing and still the body feels like dead. Serenity felt it. Or to say it better, she didn't feel it. Now that she concentrated on Endimyon's light, she couldn't find him. She let go of her thoughts and memories and gave her crystal all her might.

She searched for the King and when she still didn't found him she grown wings and started a race toward Pluto, determined to break the gates of time.

"Serenity! No! We need you here!"

Oblivious to other sounds other than her heart, she went to the outer limits of the solar system.

From what the others told her, it was impossible to go inside the chamber of the Gates without a key, but she will try. She will give her all, because if what she felt was right, Chaos was free again and was coming to break them all.


	21. He needs me

Pluto was pacing around inside the Gates of Time. She felt the powerful wave approaching but she already made a decision. The queen could not touch the Mirror of Fate. She can't let that happen, because the threat is immense now and the Queen must focus all her power in healing the world again and saving the King. And if she touches the Mirror, she will see all that Seiya remembered and, of course, all they hid from her for lifetimes. Because against all odds, Seiya found the only way possible to make Serenity remember: he touched the Mirror and put all his memories there to wait for her. Not even for a second did she thought that Serenity will actually be this close to reach and take them.

That will not only make her mad, and suffer, but weak also. And Pluto couldn't allow it. But as the queen approached, she had to open the Gates and let her inside, even if that meant the last key had to break. She smashed the top of her weapon into the Gates and lost her power to travel through time. She went outside and waited for the Queen.

Uranus gathered all the other senshi and explained the crisis. Something hidden and powerful was avoiding their senses and it seemed the King fell into a trap.

"The King is gone. And we have no idea where to start the search," Neptune stated angrily.

"We were so busy being happy and preparing the celebrations that we failed to do our job," Uranus said, almost tearing down a concrete pillar.

"How can something enter the Solar system without being sensed?" Ami tried figuring things out with her computer.

"The only way possible is that it was here all along."

"Here all along?" everybody reacted in response to Saturn's thought.

"But we have peace all around us. Everything changed in Crystal Tokyo."

"Yes Venus, so this power can't be hidden here on Earth, but someplace we didn't search, someplace the same as ever."

"A place that is the same since…"

All their eyes went to the same spot on the sky. A bright moon, too bright and to still.

"Mercury, check the Moon, can you see something?" Mars asked.

After a few moments, pale Mercury became paler.

"My Queen, I was expecting you."

"Pluto, I have to see the Mirror. Now!"

"You can't. It's not the Mirror that will show you where the King is."

"I CAN'T see him. My crystal can't find him. I need help. How can I find him otherwise?"

"Only your heart can take you to him," Pluto said, already knowing that if the Queen failed to find the King, it only meant that her heart was split again. Powerless and hopeless, Serenity collapsed crying.

"I can't find him...Why?"

"You can't give up. There's nothing more powerful than you love. Nothing changed."

Serenity lifted her head terrified. The realization hit her for the first time.

"But _everything_ changed."

"Everything?" Pluto repeated, in disbelief.

"I know that because of you I lost my memories and I feel pain even if I don't know what happened. And Seiya…and you all…and Endymion…"

"Uranus," Pluto said more to herself, realizing that the wind senhi said something about their secret.

"Yes, Uranus told me. And she only told me now because it's a crisis. Only because she sensed me going back to the past."

Pluto lost her balance. She missed the moment the queen left because she was busy sealing the memories of Seiya deeper into the Mirror.

"I failed. You traveled to the past…this is the moment that made the future the way we know it today."

"I know it's my fault Endymion disappeared today. But if you would have told me about Seiya…I wouldn't have left …"

"Our decisions don't affect your destiny."

"They don't?"

"I am so sorry."

"Pluto, everything is wrong. My king is not here to help me and my daughter must be scared by now because I left them all without a word. And I can't find the power to see him, my love. Why, why!"

Endymion sensed his queen didn't receive his message. Strangely, he felt relief. If she didn't come, then she'll be safe. This dark power was immense and slowly even he felt like giving in to the darkness.

"Seiya! Are you there?"

Seiya was lost too. In the darkness, his heart found peace. They say that before death, all your life plays before your eyes. He started the images but edited the sad parts. Of course, all his life was her. Image after image of Usagi and her light. But right before another dark ray hit, he saw Chibiusa next to her mother and he felt he needed to fight for them. His all resolution about setting Serenity free from her destiny fell, because next to her daughter, she looked complete. And he understood that somewhere along the way, he forgot that she chose this not because she didn't loved him, but because she was truly meant to light up the Galaxy with her shine as a mother and queen. He was a crossroad, a loop, something the others kept a secret. In this future nobody sensed him, as if he didn't exist. In the cold, dark place he was now, Seiya saw the time rupture clearer than anyone else and that made up his mind. He conjured all his power and sent his message to all those that could help them defeat this evil.

In her frail state, Serenity started to pace around in the Mirror room. Pluto only stood there, watching her and hoping for a smart answer. She had none.

It only took a moment for Serenity to reach the Mirror. She looked at her image and a flash, a singular image, a vision or a hallucination made her reach out. And although Pluto screamed to prevent it, the contact between Serenity's hand and the smooth surface happened, like destiny planned all along. And all the memories came back to her.

###

_I'm sitting in front of his door, gathering the courage to knock. I'm a coward sitting like this for minutes and still I make no sound. Behind that door, is the man I realized I have feelings for. And after accepting this, I find out the future changed. It's terrifying._

_The trembling isn't a side effect of the indecision; it's real, accompanied by heart beatings and unsteady feet. To look in his eyes again…_

" _Odango…"_

_My heart stoppes altogether and the hand falls to my side, like dead. His voice is so full of life I can't stop and I turn to look at him. Against all my reason, I missed him._

_He just passed around me, opens the door, and waits for me to step inside, avoiding my greatest desire for him to look at me._

_It's so quiet that our shadows on the walls make more noise than us. I don't even begin to move away from his touch when he reached to stop me ruining my lips._

_The touch exploded in thousands of feelings and warmed the room. And I felt transported into another time, like a dream, or a glimpse into the future, our future, where he's touching my cheek and the feeling of it makes me wonder if this is him giving up. The thought hurts me._

_In this dream I tell him:_

" _They came for me today, yes…but I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving you Seiya."_

_They found me and told me everything about my past and my future. I'm Sailor Moon and Princess Serenity. They said it will take time to transform. But I remember my life in 20th century and I remember him…Mamo-chan. They said he'll be here soon and expected me to be happy. But I just felt lost._

_And I ran to him. The man I loved for the last four years. My beautiful star, with long dark hair and moon shaped earrings and all those feelings in his eyes._

_I find him and hug him tight so he'll collapse into me. My fingers run on his skin, desperate to hold him to his word. He promised to be near me forever._

_I can't leave him now. My heart screams for him, even if my destiny is different. But I wonder why he didn't tell me. The outers told me he knew all along._

" _Why didn't you tell me?"_

_He stops his breathing and I feel sad. From my question, he may believe I accuse him. But how can you accuse a man that made you happy for so long? I can't forget, even now, his touch, his laugh and his cocky jokes. He gave me a choice by not telling me, just as they give me one by remembering me who I am. But it's too late now. I'll doom everybody? Maybe. But I can't give him up. He's mine._

_I unconsciously kiss his skin to remind myself he's real and I need him, when he answers._

" _I didn't tell you because I know my love is enough to keep you shining. But I was wrong. They did the same, they hid the truth from you and I told them they were wrong. I should have told you everything."_

" _Do you trust me Seiya?"_

" _I love you so much."_

" _But do you trust my love?"_

" _I…"_

" _How can you live with me and not know?"_

_I push my body deeper on his skin and I smile thinking he doubts me. Silly Seiya. I should tell him I'm the Princess of the Moon and he should never doubt me, but the thought makes me sad._

_Like sensing my mood, he takes my face into his palms and looks at me with his piercing blue eyes I find myself in. He disarms me and I don't know what to say. His look ages by the second and he's a different Seiya. Older, sadder, all-knowing._

" _I'll carry you off right after your transformation."_

_I remember these words. Almost the saddest words. The moment when my heart started to flicker about something different. Maybe another life…another destiny. Back then, he said it was a joke. Now, I feel that under his joke there's determination._

" _You won't have too. Even as Serenity, I'll choose you."_

" _Those wings will be so heavy on you. I've seen them before. Your destiny will be clearer and your heart will search for him, not me. I've seen it before…I've seen it…"_

_I feel desperation in him, like he went through this moment on another time too. He struggles with my flesh and his thoughts and I can't bear to see him like this._

" _But I'm not. I can't give you up. You're a part of me."_

_He continues the lines in his thoughts maybe, out loud. He breaks my heart. My lips ask for him before I can think of a way to make him stop. I take them and I clutch his shirt._

" _Stop it! Can't you see I'm trying to tell you I love you more?"_

_My scream must have reached his inner battle, because he stopped. But my scream also made me tremble and radiate. I felt like someone different and the only thing keeping me safe and myself was his arms._

_I never let go, even when I felt the gown on my body and the moon sign on my forehead._

_He puts his palms over my fists and I relax, intertwining my fingers with his long ones. I have to kiss him again. I'm the new me, the one destined to love another and I still crave for his kiss._

" _Princess," was all he said, and it sounded strange even in his angelic voice, filled with devotion. I know I can't escape my destiny and I don't know if I want too. Maybe I do love this other man, the one I lovingly called Mamo-chan. But not now. I'm different, I'm alive and in love with Seiya._

" _My destiny is in my mind Seiya. And it will fulfill. But my love is in my heart. And you have it all."_

_I woke up from the dream and breathed in his scent. Everything changed about how I feel him. He smells … familiar and he feels too far even if he's right next to me. His cheek is on my forehead and I feel my Moon sign glowing at his touch. I remember everything about the dream. And it's true now. I love him. But the words scare me…those words…_

" _You have it all. You have it…" I'm breathing hard and fast and I can't stop the words._

" _You saw it too," he says and I understand why it was so intense. He was there with me. We didn't remember the moment, we lived it before it would happen. I motioned a stunned yes._

" _I'm scared. I know in my heart this was part of our future. I saw you before in a dream. But this was different. I felt it."_

" _I'm …" he hugged me harder and let his caresses tell the words._

_I can feel his doubt and I don't even remember who I am, in what lifetime or why I'm standing here. And just as easy, I realize I don't care._

" _Seiya…I don't want to leave!… What does this make me?"_

_I wait for him to be the one to bring us back to reality. To make me heartless and a cheater, and everything else I deserve. But his answer marks me more than any other._

" _Free!…My…Odango."_

_###_

After only seconds that seem to pas like lifetimes, Serenity, with all the knowledge the Mirror passed into her, collapses into Pluto' arms.

"Pluto, this can't be true. Why didn't anyone tell me? Not even him?"

She cried remembering how Seiya was sick and stayed behind in the days after Galaxia. And how he told her he loved her and she ran. Those days after Galaxia rewritten the future and it confuses her.

That is why, sometimes, she remembers his eyes were blank, and his face pale and he never said why. The same scenario every lifetime, worst in the beginning, but then only from time to time he would wear this mask and refuse her access into his mind.

"He was there. And …he loved me."

"The stubborn fool still loves you. He can't forget so he just remembers all the time. Sometimes he's close to slipping and to tell you everything even if it costs him his...minds. But we are near and …I told him from the beginning you have a destiny and still he had hope."

"And that made his heart break. Oh Pluto, I can't breathe, it hurts so much. I did this to him."

"No Serenity, no! He chose to be who he is. Even if you have sent him away, he would still be immortal, but not here. You only decided he should appear in our future. Somehow, the fact that you gone back to the past transformed our future and he is here."

"I'm cruel. I should have never…"

"Stop blaming yourself. He wanted this too. Every time he leaves, he comes back to you. Remember 10 years ago, when you got married to Endymion? He told me you gave him a choice. And then, 8 years ago, when you expected Small Lady?"

"He suffered so much. Eight years ago, I was afraid he won't come back. I always wondered what he did all that time. What can I do now Pluto?"

"It's his choice."

"Yes…it is. His choice."

Her mind was racing, between all the new memories and the old ones, which now had other meaning. It was almost too much to endure. She could feel the blood falling from her face and her hands trembling. " _What have I done? How can I deserve him to stay and be my friend when I did all this to him?"_

With all the new memories, so many of them, when she loved him as her first love, Serenity felt divided and under her skin a wave of power and a distress signal started in the same time.

"Seiya is...he…he needs me."


	22. Butterfly effect of love

Serenity was out of the room before Pluto had the time to react. And she was supposed to be the senshi of time. Ironic. Then again, everything she tried to protect was now out in the open and the Queen remembered everything they, the outer senshis, tried to conceal.

She remembered the time Seiya accepted the fact that once Silver Tokyo will come, Serenity will forget her past with him. He accepted to enclose the memories and accept the deal. It meant that even if he caved and tried to make her remember, she won't. The only way she could remember remained the most impossible one: to touch the Mirror of Fate after Seiya himself touched it. And this possibility, the impossible one, as they considered it, happened today of all days. From now on, Serenity was in control of her future.

Inside the Queen, memories replayed. After she felt the distress call, she almost flew to the point of origin. It was his voice, as clear as in those days when he still sang. Seiya was calling out to her.

The scream left him powerless. Seiya was contemplating the silence with his eyes closed. Maybe it was wrong to call for help. If they come, they'll be in danger. Then again, maybe the King did the same…if he can, if he's still alive.

"Endymion, can you hear me? Are you out there?"

"I'm here."

The King's voice startled him. After shouting again and again with no answer, the King responded to a whisper. Or was it a whisper. Seiya didn't move his lips, just thought of the words.

"Are you safe?"

To his surprise, Endymion answered right away.

"As safe as I can be inside a pitch black void that threatens our sky."

"If you still have the power to talk, I'll say you're fine."

"I'm not talking. I'm thinking the words."

"Me too. Strange."

"Yes. Now, I called for help, but Serenity didn't receive my message. It's probably for the best. I don't want her in danger."

"Mmm…I called out for her too. I mean, she probably didn't get the message anyway, but I did…sorry."

"It's ok. She'll have help and I trust them all to keep her safe. Until then, let's do something. If we can communicate, we should be able to find each other."

The moment they both thought about it, they could see each other.

"Well, that was easy."

"I guess our minds were too busy to think about the obvious."

A small chuckle was drowned as soon as it hit the darkness.

"I also guess our enemy here doesn't like us happy."

"Seiya…then this enemy will hate Serenity and the girls."

He was right. As if anticipating their arrival, the dark enemy hit both Seiya and Endimyon with a cold wave that made them collapse onto solid ground.

"We're on the Moon."

"Finally, some hope."

"Seiya…I doubt this thing makes anything to give us hope."

The King was right. After clearing the darkness, the strange energy force hit them again, throwing them over the dusty surface.

"Why do you do this? Who are you?"

In response, they heard only a sinister laughter.

"This solar system is protected. We'll defeat you."

"Endimyon, I don't think it cares about us. Look."

Following Seiya's look, the King understood that words were a waste of time. The Moon was moving in an unnatural pace towards Earth.

"What?"

"I guess this thing has bigger plans."

"We'll stop you! Do you hear me?" Endimyon warned again and raised the sword he found in the dust, conjuring his strength. Glowing with the power of the planet Earth, the sword stood firm in his hands.

"How can you fight something you don't see?"

"I'll make it take form. Earthbound vital force, give light!"

Shouting the attack, the King planted the tip of the sword deep into the Moon's surface. The glow blinded them both and the noise made them believe a forgotten creature was suffering great pain.

Chibiusa runs to catch the girls who prepare to travel to the Moon. She almost forgot that today was supposed to be her happiest day. This morning and the walk with her mother seemed to have happened in another life. Maybe it was so. After she heard what Haruka told the others, Chibiusa knew she had to go save her father and Seiya. Somehow, she knew Seiya was there, on the Moon, with her dad.

"Uranus, I'm coming too."

"No Small Lady, you are definitely not."

"My mother abandoned them. She did, didn't she? So how can you hope to get them back without a part of the Silver crystal?"

"My concern is for you to be safe. And under no circumstances will you use the Crystal. You're eight. And your mother…she didn't abandon us. She'll come."

"Maybe she'll be late. She always was."

"You don't understand, things have changed that you can't …"

"I think I'm old enough. And if I'm not mistaken, the King and Queen are missing and that makes me the person in charge. You told me yourself I have to be strong. I'll be just that. Let me help you save the ones I love. Let me save papa and Seiya."

"Seiya?" Uranus remained puzzled. "He's with the King?"

"I…I don't know why I feel that he is, but I'm sure I'm not mistaken."

With hesitation, Neptune put into words the thought in all the outers minds.

"Do you think he…"

Haruka looked her in the eyes and then replayed in her head the day's events. Surely, Seiya was missing too. And the King sent no distress signal, so he must have been surprised by the enemy. And…with Serenity going back to the past, Seiya had the reason.

Haruka looked back at the small child, the same frail, scared and pure image as her mother. She used a finger to put aside a blond lock of hair on Chibiusa's face. The dilemma hurt like hell. She had to tell Chibiusa what her suspicion was, because the child was determined to come along. But once face to face with Seiya, Haruka will not hesitate to kill. And by doing that, she'll hurt Chibiusa just as much.

"Chibiusa…if you come along…you must understand we will need to fight. We all feel the evil out there. It's getting stronger."

"I'll help."

"But maybe you won't if that evil is…someone you love."

She understood what they were saying by not saying anything. They all believed that Seiya was responsible for her father disappearance. She felt anger.

"NO! Seiya is not the one…Are you all gone insane? Or is this a sick surprise birthday party? Momma left, you behave like you don't know Seiya and …" the trembling started and she has a hard time speaking. Her little fists hit Haruka as the warrior tries to calm her down.

"He loves me and momma. He would never ever do something like that. I'll prove it to you." And with that, she grew wings and disappeared before all their eyes.

"Haruka! Maybe we should have kept the suspicion for ourselves. Look what we did now."

"We'll get there before she does. She's still very young, even if very powerful. Let's go. Let's senshi teleport there."

Serenity flies to the point of the distress signal, her eyes filled with tears. All her life, lives, they were lies and the perfect future was stained with a lie so terrible she couldn't believe the future was still standing.

"Yes, maybe I did something terrible by going back to the past and maybe that is why Endimyon disappeared, but they lied and lied and played with lives. This is not what my mother meant for us."

Feeling as if fast wasn't fast enough, she forced herself beyond reason and she hit the memory like it was something solid in her path.

###

_It was the old empire of the Moon, in all its former glory. The rose gardens and the breathtaking view of the nearby planet she loved so much. She witnessed a scene overshadowed by the final battle that took the lives of her, Endimyon, her friends and her mother. But now, in this memory, she saw the beautiful queen caressing her old self and talking long forgotten words._

" _Do you love him so?"_

" _Yes. You know I do. I don't care that he's from Earth."_

" _You know that it is our duty to protect Earth, even if they refuse to enter the Empire of Silver Millennium."_

" _I know. We protect them and they don't even like us. All of the earthlings think we are evil and we try to conquer their planet. All except for him. He even wants to be the one to protect me. And I…I gravitate around him like our Moon gravitates around the Earth."_

" _You are so young my daughter. The future will unravel for you soon."_

" _Is it a good future?"_

" _I don't know. But…I know love and this is a strong love. So you have my support and my best of help, so that the future will be one of love and happiness."_

_Serenity felt a tear on her cheek hearing the words of her mother. She didn't remembered any of this, but it hurt to know that maybe soon after this conversation the Moon was attacked and all of them died, even the Moon itself. Pondering on the past, Serenity was transported to another scene. There she saw Queen Serenity and Pluto._

" _She loves him Pluto. I believe he is the one. She found him in an unexpected place, but he is the one."_

" _The one she will love enough to save the Galaxy someday."_

" _Yes."_

" _Them maybe we should make him come here, on the Moon, and stay with us, so we can keep him safe. We live for ages, but he's mortal, since he's from Earth."_

" _No. Serenity will decide what it is to be done. I will not write her future for her."_

" _But my queen...if he's the one, we can't lose him. He has to stay with princess Serenity forever."_

" _Pluto. I cannot enforce upon my daughter or the prince of Earth my will, based upon a prophecy that says their love will save the Galaxy. Maybe Serenity loves him now with all her heart, but she's young and maybe she'll…"_

" _She can't reconsider. It is written that the most shining star seed ever born will give her love to a planet of life and she will create life for us all. Princess Serenity has that star seed. It's almost like she was born with the Silver Crystal inside of her. And the planet of life? That must be Earth. It's full of life I…"_

" _Those are old prophecies Pluto. No one knows what they mean anymore. Not even me. And I say again, I will not condemn my daughter to a life written in stone. She'll decide. Her heart will decide."_

" _But…if something happens to him…or …or her? We'll lose our Empire."_

" _I will take care of her. I have that power and I will use it even if it will kill me. But she must have a life. She must love and suffer and feel everything that comes along with being alive. Tell me Pluto…do you see something in the future? Is that why you insist?"_

" _I…I can see her loving a star. And it can't be. Stars are powerful, but empty of life. Sometimes I don't understand the visions. You gave me a great power my Queen; I sometimes fear it's beyond my understanding."_

" _You are the only one capable Pluto. I trust you not to interfere with Time and Fate. And if what you see will come true, then trust Serenity and her heart. She is capable of so much love."_

" _But if she'll love a star then our Galaxy…"_

" _Pluto…love will never be the destroyer. Love is never wrong. Serenity can choose and love whomever she wants. Pluto…promise me, my dear friend, that she will be free to chose."_

_Serenity saw and heard the conversation. And she saw Pluto waver in her promise. And Serenity knew in that moment that her past as Usagi was not the one her mother had wished for her. The outers tried to stop her every move when Seiya, the Star, was close._

_She knew then that the greatest coincidence of her life as Usagi, the moment when, as a small child, met Mamoru, and then later, when she bumped into him on a street, in a city with 13 million people, were not coincidences. They were the hand of Pluto, forcing them together so she can ensure the future._

_And the star Pluto herself saw her fall in love with…Seiya? He was robbed of her love, just because the outers changed Mamoru's destiny by letting him become an orphan at 7 and introducing him to her._

_All the battles, all their suffering, his deaths…Mamoru was never meant to be near her in 20th century. Seiya was._

###

Serenity recovered from the memory and saw her crystal shining. And all around her the stars did the same, with a blinding intensity. She decided then and there she will use her power to make everything right. She will find Seiya first, but then she will use her Crystal to mend the past. Maybe it was the only way to keep Endymion safe. And she felt her mother was right: her heart, her love, will not destroy the galaxy.

"I love this world too much. I trust you, my light."

She wrapped her hands around the Crystal and kept going, hoping its power will make things go back to being "not too late".

The roar on the Moon stopped the senshis dead in their track. On the white Moon, something shadowy like was wiping its black cords around. Inside the blackest point, a small light flickered brighter.

"The King's sword."

The giant wasteland that was the Moon started to snap and crack, forming ravines with more shadows coming out of them. The power of evil was so great that the Sailor senshis were kept in place and their transformations flickered like broken light bulbs.

"What is this?"

"Uranus, if we lose our transformations, we will suffocate here in space."

"I know Mercury. But I can't move. And it seems our King is not winning. Is this the end?"

"I wish Serenity was here. I wonder…"

"She'll be here soon. She was with Pluto and she's on her way here now."

"With Pluto. But Neptune, what did she…"

"It's not important now Mars. She'll be here soon so we must hold the position. It the Moon turns to smithereens then Earth is doomed."

"Chibiusa must be on her way too. We really must apologize for what we said about Seiya. Right Uranus?"

"Jupiter…if Seiya knew what Serenity will find if she went to Pluto, then that still makes him my first suspect, the only one capable of such a plan to make her find out."

"Find out what?"

"Chibiusa! You're here!"

"Yes. And THAT is not Seiya's doing. I told you. Let's get closer. I'll help you."


	23. The chaos inside our minds

"Endymion, this thing is getting really mad."

"At least we can see it now. And we can see some light."

"I don't know. The Moon doesn't look too solid right about now. And if it shatters…"

"It won't. Now, come here and help me keep this sword into the ground. If we can spread the light of Earth's vital force, it will purify the darkness. And we can buy some time."

"I guess by now everybody knows about the attack."

"And they're heading this way."

Seiya felt the tinge of pain in Endymion's voice. He recognized it as the same in his heart. If she heard him, or if she saw the fight just by looking at the sky, Serenity was on her way, too close to this danger. The thought alone made him sick.

He remembered that in another life, he had the same feeling every time she had to leave by herself. Keeping his hands strongly on the sword, Seiya remembered old lives with happiness and, unlike now, only with silly worries.

###

_She smiles and her moon shape face shines. I can swear that every time she does that, I can't say no to her. I can guess by the devilish look in her blue eyes she'll ask me something and she knows just as I know that she'll win this fight too. But I'm determined not to let her win so easily. So I put my uninterested face and keep working on my computer. It's a new song for her and it's going well._

_Just like every other time, when it will be ready, I'll sing it to her and if her face will shine a pink sweet glow, the same way it does when I whisper I love you to her, then I'll know it's a good song. She keeps coming closer, trying to look inconspicuous. It makes me smile the way she does things her own way even when she doesn't know someone's looking._

_When she's beginning to fidget with her hair, I know she's ready to talk. And she does, her serene voice reminding me of last night, when she left me to go home with my name on her lips._

" _Ano…Seiya?"_

" _Mhm?"_

" _I have to ask you something. Are you busy?"_

" _A little. That was the question?"_

" _Oh. No. Can you look at me?"_

" _Is this the question Odango?"_

" _NO! Turn around and look at me! Please?..."_

_The fast switch in her emotions tell me it's something important, nothing like dinner or her usual lamentations about me sending her home before 11 o'clock. The truth is I love to watch her eat and I definitely love to see her pout when I leave the couch to take my car keys. It takes a lot of strength to send her away, but for now it's just the way it has to be. She'll still young, and in her parents eyes, so am I. Only if they knew._

" _Ask me."_

_I turn around to watch her and by the way she stops I can guess I have THAT look on my face. She calls it "the look", and in her own words, "it says I missed you, I love you, and you're mine in the same time". If I managed to have a look like that, then I'm glad she understands. Because I do look at her every time, in every life she's near me, like I'm realizing I love her all over again._

_She recovers from the blush and intertwines her hands. Even if I'm sitting and she's towering me, she still looks like the child in this picture._

" _So? Are you hungry? Is that it?" I try to play. She's not in the mood._

" _I…"_

" _You bored? I'm just about done here. So…" even as I speak she moves her head as if to say no. And after a few words, she cuts me of._

" _I applied to a scholarship in Europe and I received the answer today and they said yes and I start in two months."_

_I'm sure I only heard three words from what she said. And the words scholarship Europe and two months – okay, four words – made me the proudest man and the most miserable. She saw the change in me but I knew by the way she saddened that her mind was set. So I did the most stupid thing I could have done._

" _You can't leave. I'm very sure terrible things will happen, I know from experience people leaving to study are bound to get in trouble so I say NO."_

_She getting from sad, to puzzled to mad in a second._

" _First of all, I would really like to hear about that experience of yours." I think I spoke too much._

" _Second, not you, not anybody will ever tell me what to do, or keep me from my life." I hear her and I'm proud like a silly dad of his multi awarded child. I realize that what I said was terribly stupid and driven only by my fear of losing her, so I try to make amends, but she's determined to make her point._

" _And last but not least…my question wasn't if you agree." In the middle of the sentence her eyes change their intensity and she reaches for me. Gravity makes me come near her._

" _Seiya, can you please come with me?"_

_The meaning more than the words takes the air out of my lungs._

" _Odango…"_

_She blushes a little but her determination is still there in her eyes next to something else. I don't want to think she doubts my answer, so I repeat a scene from our past. I catch her hand, close the gap between us and I whisper into her ear._

" _I'll carry you of right after the concert."_

_She doesn't move like before. This time I'm not joking and she knows I mean it. I touch her temple and she leans into me. I inhale her and wonder what power controls such destiny that give us so much pain, but also so much happiness._

" _Oh, and Seiya?"_

" _Hm?"_

" _Can I sleep on your couch tonight?"_

" _So there were two questions after all."_

_She laughs…_

###

"Seiya! You were there too?" Endymion asked the moment Seiya was back from his memory.

"There?" Seiya said confused.

"You spaced out before I did and you started to glow. And then I had a little encounter with our enemy. Never mind. Look, you have to promise me something. Don't let her come here."

"What?"

Before the answers could come, Endymion gathered all his energy and channeled it through the sword. His royal armor glowed and his power seemed endless, pouring out of him in waves. With one knee in the dust, the King looked in Seiya's eyes, all-knowing and determined. And in one swift move, he removed the sword from the ground and pushed its tip into Seiya's chest, stopping just before the blade to actually cut.

"NO! Endymion, don't!"

Chibiusa tried to reason with the sailor senshis, but they still refused to let the guard down. Attack after attack went and dissipated silently not even near the target. The darkness barrier kept them away from the Moon and they were drained of power by the second.

A sudden blast on the surface got her attention and she started to fly toward the light.

"Small Lady, don't go there without us!"

"If I take you, you'll kill Seiya."

"If we are right, he'll put you in danger."

"Uranus…how can you doubt love?"

With those hurried words that made Uranus stop her efforts to attack, Chibiusa dissapeard into the darkness. And almost the moment she did, the Moon started to collapse towards the Earth and Seiya's unconscious body appeared before the group of senshis.

Serenity was near her destination, but the ticking clock inside her heart made the journey linger like a never ending one. In the immense space, quiet and alone, she thought about her life and her decisions. Pluto was surely on her tracks, but her intentions were still unknown to Serenity. Will Pluto try to stop her from using the Crystal, or will she ask forgiveness.

_It's not for me to offer forgiveness. Pluto and the outers thought that what they did was for the best. For the future of the Galaxy. They kept Seiya away from me so I couldn't love a star and endanger the future. But…would have been so terrible to love Seiya for being Seiya when he loved me for being just Usagi? My mother gave me the life as Usagi to learn and live. Crystal Tokyo and the New Silver Millennium were so far away into the future back then. No one should have set things in stone. Endymion suffered so much back then. First with his parents, then with the loss of memory, the premonitions, and eventually the death by the hands of Galaxya controlled by Chaos. Chaos…_

"Oh no!"

Chibiusa gets closer to the only light visible. The roaring sound of the Moon collapsing is deafening and she's scared. But she knows her father is there so she pushes on, guided by her crystal. Somewhere in the center of all that hell, she sees him, torn apart and still fighting.

"Daddy!"

Seiya awakes with a punch to his face. And another. Judging by the intensity of the blow, he knows Haruka is the one hitting him and he wonders why. His eyes hurt and the last thing he remembers…

"Stop!"

Uranus stops indeed, her tears less visible than on the others faces.

"I'm asking you one time only and you better tell me the truth, you lying traitor. What did you do?"

Confused and nauseated, Seiya takes a while to recover. And that makes Haruka mad.

"Because of you she's going to die there. And the King?"

"Die…"

The thoughts come rushing in. The tip of Endymion's sword, the force he felt coming through it and the silent monologue of the King. All those words that made things clearer and much more complicated in the same time.

" _I know everything Seiya. About you, Serenity, Usagi…and about this enemy. It's Chaos. It's here because our destinies were chaotic. I shouldn't have been there with Usagi in 20th century and you weren't supposed to be here in the future Crystal Tokyo. Someone made a mistake. And Chaos survived here, hidden on the Moon, because it all started here. It was waiting for the mistake to happen and the two paths to come together here so it would destroy them both. I am one of the paths, the future, and the spirit of a planet, meant to give life to the Galaxy next to Serenity, the Queen of the Moon. You are the other path, the past, a star meant to give power and love to Usagi, the protector of Earth, as she was preparing for her future. Chaos is trying to destroy her star seed and crystal by destroying both her destinies: us. But I guess Chaos didn't thought about the power of love."_

"Say something you…"

"We have to stop him. He's going to sacrifice himself."

"What are you talking about?"

"Can you stop fighting me for a second and concentrate on the bigger picture? Your King is on the big rock with a collision course to Earth and you feel like killing me?"

"You're the one who trapped him there?"

"What? Are you insane?"

"Are you? We know about the Queen traveling back to the past. Can you honestly tell me you chose the exact same day to take the King to the Moon? And now not only you are trying to kill him, but Small Lady also. I should kill you where you stand, but it will be so much better to let Serenity see you for what you really are."

The words in Haruka's mouth meant nothing to Seiya. He needed to get Endymion out.

"Odango isn't here yet?" That was a relief. He could live with his own battle bruises and even with the others, but she needed to be safe.

"Just like you planned. She went to Pluto and by now she knows everything about you two. All the lives together, the past…"

The sentence went on but Seiya froze at the realization. She knew. It meant so much, even if he wasn't there to see her remember and be happy or sad about the reaction.

"Our past…"

"Yeah, you sacrificed Earth, our King and Chibiusa for that. On the second thought, why let you life until she gets here. Die!"

Uranus had her sword next to Seiya's head when the warrior inside broke loose.

"Chibiusa, Endymion, I'm coming!"

Haruka was left without the sword and Seiya became a star flying into the darkness near them. On the pitch black sky, two of the more powerful lights in the galaxy passed by one another. A pure white light hold Serenity safe as she arrived and a fierce red beam took Seiya to the falling Moon. The moment they passed by one another, she saw him and felt the lights of her senshis and her King nearby. But also she felt darkness and despair.

"Seiya…"

He didn't stop, not even when she reached her hands to him. He just smiled an old smile and moved into the darkness, determination all over his face.

"Queen Serenity!"

"Help me get them all back. Give me you power, please, all of you."

"He doesn't deserve…" someone in the group said.

"He brought me here on time!" she shouted and conjured her Silver Crystal.

"You'll die if you use it like this. NO!" Mars reached her and grabbed onto the shining star seed. It burned her hand, but with tears into her eyes, Mars begged her not to sacrifice everything.

"I have to. For all of us."


	24. My gift to you

She wakes up to the sweet smell of roses as she never smelled before and a light as warm as her mother's. Stretching her little body, she remembers the awful dream she had but decides to forget it soon, even before getting out of bed. Because today is her birthday and she'll receive her powers and lots and lots of presents.

Chibiusa opens her eyes slowly, adjusting to the light. Flashes of the bad dream makes her close and open them again. When she's finally awake, the strange surroundings strike her first. She considers for only a second that this is maybe a gift from her father and the distant planet Earth is somehow a picture on the ceiling of her room. Voices near her, strained and tired, instead of cheerful, bring dread into her heart. She was not dreaming. This was the reality. And if it was…

"POPPA!"

The high pitched scream scared every senshi around. They closed the distance quickly and a tired pair of arms took the small lady in for comfort, whispering lullaby words in her ear.

"Now little one, it's over, you're safe. Sh…you're safe. Now, now…"

"Venus, maybe you should sing for her again. That calmed her the first time."

"Would you like that Chibiusa? Come now, you're safe little one."

"NO! Daddy, where's daddy. Tell me _he_ 's safe, not me. I saw him. He was hurt. All that darkness."

"Now, now, Small Lady, you did very well. Darkness never scared you; you're truly a big girl now. You fought so very bravely."

Cuddled against Venus chest, Chibiusa remembered seeing her father, King Endymion, being surrounded by darkness. His armor looked like it has seen a war and his every muscle struggled to resist the force around him that was trying to steal his star seed.

"Chaos…has my daddy."

"No Chibiusa, he defeated Chaos and look what beautiful gift he made for you."

Chibiusa slowly took her head out of the safety of Venus arms and looked beyond her tears with hope. The magnificent sight filled her heart with peace despite everything.

"The Moon Empire. Silver Millennium."

"Yes, your father saved the Moon and Earth."

"Where is he? Where is momma?"

"Venus, we should wait for Serenity. She must be the one to tell her."

"Mars? Momma must tell me what? And why are you crying?"

Mars held the little girl gaze for a second before turning and breaking into tears. Mercury held her as the flow seemed endless.

Jupiter approached the small princess and without any words she gave her a little mirror. Chibiusa took it intrigued and looked at the image reflected inside. Horror replaced tears.

Close by, on the Moon's Great Sea shore, three silhouettes watch closely as another figure steps into the roaring waters.

"Shall we stop her?"

"No Uranus. Look! The sea knows her and recognizes her as the Queen of the Moon. She's home here, nothing will harm her."

"We've mistaken love for threat other times too. And now, I can't even say I'm sorry to him."

"He knows. We've had so many lifetimes to know each other. He knows we tried to do our job."

"It's even sadder that I now he did Pluto. He knew us. And we thought of him as the enemy right until the end. So blind…"

"We are all blind now Uranus, Neptune. I've broken the Mirror of Fate. The last thing I saw was that somewhere in the past, I did the same at the King's and Queen's orders. I don't know how that can be possible, because by broking the Mirror, I lost my time key. We're alone to decide now. It's for the best. The terrible mistakes I made…"

"We made them with you. You're not the only one to blame."

"And yet, she blames no one."

"Too sweet. Like Usagi before, our Queen now is still too sweet."

With her feet in the waters of the Moon and her fingers gently touching the waves, Serenity remembers her star and her planet. Seiya passed by her the moment she arrived near the Moon. Terrified at first by the sight of the satellite collapsing towards Earth, she craved to see him and tell him she knew.

But her extended arms, for the first time, remained untouched by him, as Seiya plunged into the darkness and disappeared. Everything collapsed with him gone too. She didn't felt her daughter; her king and now not even her starlight anymore. Just when she had a plan, to make things right, they all left before she could make them proud and happy.

Her determination to use the Crystal inside her to make them all go back to the 20th century and start again clean, as her mother intended, was clear now that the three loves she depended on were gone.

Her King, the man she fell in love with millennia ago, on the Moon and with whom she was destined to bring life into the Galaxy again, was trapped on the falling Moon or even gone forever. Before she could ask forgiveness or advice.

Her daughter, sweet and filled with the same light hope had, gone in the same darkness, trying to rescue her father, gone because she, her mother, wasn't there on time.

And Seiya…her star and love and comfort and past…the one destined to love her not for being a Queen, but just an ordinary crybaby, he who was destined to be her light when life began for her on Earth as Usagi Tsukino. He chose to plunge into the darkness before she could say …what…I love you still?

All this went through her mind as she saw her friends powerless next to the falling Moon. She reached for her Crystal, but Mars stopped her. She begged her not to. But how could she listen? She touched her friend's wet cheek and put her love into her words.

"Rei, it's about time for me to protect _you_."

"Not like this."

"Trust me."

"You will not give your life because something HE did wrong." Haruka shouted.

"Oh, but didn't you see? Can't you finally understand who he is and what he's doing? Seiya is there trying to protect us. He tried…" Feeling her spirit being overwhelmed, Serenity concentrated on her goal. "Trust me. I'll get you all back into the past and in the beginning. We'll find each other again. But this time everything will be alright."

"No!"

"It's maybe the best choice." Pluto voice came from the empty space.

"What!"

"Uranus, Neptune, we made mistakes, greater than any other. This twisted future is our fault. It wasn't Seiya-kou who changed the future or Serenity-hime by going back in time, it was our doing, always trying to make Usagi-chan follow a road that wasn't hers to follow."

"What are you saying Pluto? You told us how the future was and what we needed to do."

"Yes, and by doing so, my fault is the greatest, above forgiveness."

"No Pluto. I understand what you did…"

"My queen…"

"I forgive you. But you must forgive me too. I can't stand being without them. I have to do this, like my mother did it for us."

Standing in the cold waters of the Moon Sea, Serenity remembered all this. How she was determined to use the Crystal and she almost did. But then something happened that decided things for her.

The light breeze and the sight of Earth nearby makes her eyes hurt and her skin shiver. The thin strands of hair, now white, carry the salty air to her lips.

"You left me alone after all," she whispers into the wind.

The three outer senshi stand powerless watching their queen morn.

"So this is it. We can't do anything to make amends. The time key is gone and even if the queen still has her daughter and Silver Millennium is restored…she's alone."

"Like her mother…"

"She still has people who love her Uranus."

"Yes Pluto she does, but the Galaxy is as empty as her heart. Never to be populated with life and love. And the Silver Crystal is gone."

"The fact that Seiya took her crystal saved her life. He came out of the darkness with Chibiusa in his arms. He saved our princess and our queen."

"But with what cost."

Chibiusa looks at her image and she can't believe it's true. Her hair not golden like her mother's, her eyes not blue anymore.

"What happened to me?" she asked, trying to understand, with red eyes, and pink hair, that she was still the same person.

Saturn kneels beside her friend and puts a gentle hand on her head.

"You look like this ever since you came out of the darkness. Seiya said it was because you saw you father d…you saw him giving his star seed to save Earth."

"So he really is gone," she speaks in between tears. "And Seiya? I remember he came after me into Chaos. Papa was there trying to fight it but…when Seiya came, he had Haruka's sword and he kept screaming at my father that he shouldn't have save him. And papa was terrified when he saw me."

"He saved Seiya-kun so he could take care of you and your mother. But he went back after you as soon as he recovered."

"Papa told him to get me out of there and Seiya started to fight Chaos. I tried to use my powers but I failed."

"No, we couldn't use our powers either. It wasn't your fault."

"I wanted to hug him and get him out of there. But he kept saying I should stay away. And then he told Seiya he shouldn't try to save us both, because without his star seed, Moon will collapse. He told me he loved me and momma and then he…"

"He used his star seed, the power of Earth, to make a path for Seiya-kun to carry you out. And he did. You emerged in a flash of bright light and he put you in your mother's arms just when she was about to use her crystal and sacrifice herself."

"He was mad at her when he saw what she was about to do. "

"Yes, Seiya refused to let her give her life."

"He said something to me and I felt warm," Chibiusa remembered and in the same time she touched the necklace that stood on her neck, caressing it absentmindedly.

"He spoke to your mother and when she finally lowered her hands of the Crystal, he took it from her. We thought he was harming her."

"Saturn is right. We thought she will collapse without it. But she didn't and Seiya-kun wasn't hurt by it like Mars was. The crystal went right into his body."

"We never saw anything like it before."

"I remember. Momma hugged him and then he was gone, back into the dark. And then…I don't remember anything anymore."

"After that the queen asked for our help and we all gathered our powers. She used her final transformation, as Queen Serenity of the Moon and all our powers combined helped Seiya and King Endymion. After a bright light engulfed us all, we woke up here, on the restore Silver Millennium, the new Empire of the Moon."

"But papa and Seiya…"

"They were gone."

The Queen turns slowly towards the shore. She sees the three senshi, Neptune, Uranus and Pluto and she speaks to them with a serene voice.

"You know what he told me before he took my Crystal?"

"My Queen?"

"He said this was his gift to me. And it's strange; I swear I heard Endymion in my mind saying exactly the same thing before the bright light took us here."


	25. The rebirth

"This is where I grew up. I saw Earth above every day. I fell in love with it. And with your father. He used to sneak here to see me. And when Nehelenia attacked us, he tried to keep me safe. Like he did now for both of us."

"Momma, but I want him here?"

"Me too Small Lady. Now…let the tears dry. You're a big girl. I wanted a different birthday party for you…"

"But I miss daddy. And Seiya."

The Queen flinched a little at the small one's words.

"And how can you be so calm? You were a crybaby too. I got this from you."

"That was Usagi. I'm Queen Serenity now Small Lady. Usagi Tsukino is just a distant dream of my human form."

"I'll miss her..."

"Me too. But her heart was too heavy and her destiny crooked. I'm sorry for what she had to endure."

"Papa and Seiya will miss her too," the small princess sobbed, her mother's serene attitude being too hard to comprehend.

"Yes, you father did loved Usagi in the past. But he should have been here with us. He was there with her in the past only by mistake. Usagi was destined for someone else."

"Seiya?"

The certainty in Chibiusa's word broke Serenity's heart. It was obvious for everyone that Seiya loved her.

"Yes, Seiya was destined to be Usagi's love, to help her deal with the remaining enemies and grow up. My mother gave me a life as Usagi to forget about the pain caused by the war and the deaths of every loved one. She knew it was too soon to restore Silver Millennium and also she wanted for us, for me and the girls, a life with happiness and love and small troubles."

"But Usagi as Sailor Moon had a lot of problems and enemies."

"That was because something changed in our destiny the moment Usagi met your father too early and she found her form as Princess of the Moon. You see, wherever there's good there is also evil. It's part of us. Usagi, as sailor Moon, would have needed to face enemies, but not as many and not as powerful. Many of them were after your father and even after you."

"And Chaos?"

"This was the enemy we created. By changing fate and by doing so, the future."

"And what was your…I mean Usagi's fate?"

"That I don't know. But I do know she should have been free to make her own decisions. And find the love she needed as a human girl, not a love destined for me."

"And Seiya should have been the one."

"Yes, he was the one. But they all pushed him away and forced him to make his own bad decisions."

"You know, Uranus and the others doubted him. But I never did."

"They doubted him because Chaos was influencing them. They…we all did silly things because of the dark force hidden here on the Moon. But deep down, they knew, like you and I knew that Seiya loved us all and he only tried to protect us."

"That's why he's here?"

"Having him here was not bad for us, but he suffered. He was immortal Small Lady. In the past, he was a Sailor senshi, but he gave up his powers to be with Usagi and that brought the curse of immortality on him. He lived many lives before us and remembering them all was hard."

"Will it be hard for us? To remember all this?"

"We'll live forever now, because your father gave us Silver Millennium. Moon people don't age. So…yes, it will be very hard, but we have each other and many friends."

"Mamma, can we go back to Earth…and live there?"

Neo Queen Serenity hesitated. Here she was closer to Endymion. Back on Earth, she would remember Seiya too. And Seiya wasn't hers anymore. He was destined for a bright star seed called Usagi, a crybaby and a klutz, but with a warm smile and a big heart that will be missed.

"You talk about Usagi like she's someone else."

"In a way, she is…"

"Yes Small Lady, that's why your mother has the brightest shine in the Galaxy. She was born as a princess of the Moon, then she lived a life of a human on a plated of life, Earth, and now she reached her eternal life as Neo Queen Serenity, our queen in the new Silver Millennium."

"Pluto!"

"Time is a strange thing. Maybe Mercury will explain better."

"See, you _do_ have some of Usagi in you, momma."

Her smile was weak and Chibiusa saw it. She remembered that weak smile on other lips. Seiya had it when he carried her back from the darkness. Remembering him, she again started to caress the gold locket she had on. The moment she realized that locket hadn't been there that morning, she remembered Seiya's words, forgotten until now.

" _I would do everything for you and your mother. Take this as my gift for you. Use it to be happy. It's all I got. Happy birthday and I'm sorry."_

In that moment, Chibiusa knew what she had to doo and she ran as quickly as she could to a secluded place.

"I have to go. Everything will be alright momma."

Now the Queen was really smiling, proud of her little daughter.

"And you, my princess, truly have warrior blood in you. Will she be alright Pluto? My poor little daughter?"

"You were alright my Queen, only with your mother back in the old Silver Millennium."

"Pluto, is my King there, somewhere…"

"He _is_ the spirit and protector of Earth and I believe you can see him every time you look at that beautiful planet."

"I feel the same way, but it's not enough. And…Seiya…I thought he was immortal."

"His immortality was another change in destiny and therefore, something Chaos could take. He used your Crystal to help the King restore Silver Millennium and save Earth. Maybe it was too much for him."

"And now I have nothing. No powers left to protect you, no crystal to revive the galaxy…"

"You have your love, my Queen and your gentle heart. Earth changes as we speak. Soon all people there will see this great Empire. We will light up the galaxy with life, with their help. I believe in you and I am so very sorry it took so long."

"To be honest, Usagi was a little childish, but you shouldn't have underestimated her or her greatly injured heart that loved too much and couldn't love enough. Seeing all my past lives, I felt, not only have I seen. Usagi loved Seiya as much as I love my Endymion. Inside me now are two hearts, screaming for two loves. They lived beautifully for some time and I hope Seiya will remember only those times, if his spirit still wonders among the stars."

"Yes my Queen, they loved each other. It was hard for us to fight their love; even in our blind stubbornness we saw that."

"Tell me Pluto, back on old Silver Millennium, you told my mother you saw Usagi with a star. How was it supposed to be, the past?"

"I closed the Mirror of fate, but I could see the past without our intervention. The Dark Kingdom with Queen Beryl and Queen Metallia would have never returned, believing that Prince Endymion of Earth is dead. Wiseman and the Black Moon Family could have also been defeated here in the future and not in the past by Sailor Moon. And Galaxia, without the power of Chaos we created, would have been easier to defeat by the Sailor Senshi and Sailor Stars."

"And the Dead Moon Circus, the Death Busters, Ail and Ann? Sailor Moon had so many battles to handle."

"All of them to purify the Earth so that Crystal Tokyo would be reborn and them New Silver Millennium. Fights to make her stronger, but not nearly as painful as they were with the prince and Chibiusa there."

"Almost all our enemies found our mistake and took advantage of it."

"Yes. I thought I am protecting you and the future and instead I …"

"Now, now, what's done is done. We have an Empire of light and love to create. I'm just so…sad for Usagi."

"She was destined to meet Seiya in the same…", but Pluto's words were drowned by those of the four senshi, hurrying to say they will miss Usagi too.

"We also had happy times."

"Minas! My powerful senshi. Mars, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter. I'm glad you are still here."

"We wish…"

"I know. But it appears that in this fate we created through our mistake, we learnt that the future takes sacrifice. We'll learn this lesson well and try to change it for the future."

Out in a dark corner, Neptune and Uranus admire the new powerful queen.

"She's just as I imagined. But the lessons that brought her here were too painful."

"Haruka…do you miss Usagi?"

"I…"

"You always complained she's weak and a crybaby."

"Knowing what fate we made for her, I'll say she was as strong as our Queen."

"She _is_ our queen."

"No Neprune. Usagi was the one we left in Seiya's arms a lifetime ago. Do you remember?"

"Yes. She confronted us when we went to remind her she had a destiny and Mamoru-chan. She was so powerful and determined. And she never let go of Seiya's hand as she spoke to us. She decided to stay with him."

"We always believed he will take care of her, but that time, she protected him. He said nothing, just stood there with his stupid proud face. And in the end, he was there to prepare her for the long sleep, her transition to Queen Serenity. He kept his word."

"You'll miss Seiya too. Isn't that so, Haruka?"

"He was my friend. I understood him and the way he fought. Chaos took over my mind in the end so I wouldn't trust him, so I wouldn't help him. And that makes me mad."

"He didn't need help after all."

"I would have helped him…them, to stay alive."

"I'm happy you're with me after all this."

"Until the end Michiru. Until the end."

In the lunar winds, their calm didn't predict a storm. The mesmerizing sight of Earth huge on the sky kept them together, remembering this last battle. For the Queen, it meant life for her and her old home, but mourning for two loves instead of one or none. All sailor senshi were divided between happiness for the new world and sadness for the old one. And Chibusa…

"My queen! Pluto! Hurry! Small lady is … Hurry! Please!"

Returning to the palace in the greatest hurry, the group found Chibiusa and they all gasped. She was standing in the middle of the throne room, in her princess form, and she chanted strange words as her Moon sign glowed intensely.

"Chibiusa! What are you doing?"

"I'm bringing papa home."

The terror and confusion in Serenity's eyes matched that of Pluto. The moment she saw what Chibiusa had in her hand, Pluto knew what happened. But Serenity had no idea and for her, this meant the loss of her daughter also.

"Trust me momma. Wait for us."

"Please, don't leave," the queen begged from the ground as Chibiusa rose into the air, engulfed in light.

"Momma, I'll be safe. Seiya promised."

"Seiya," she repeated awestruck.

" _This_ was his gift for us. He loved you. I'll tell him you loved him too. And I'll bring papa to be happy here with us, like he was meant to. Wait for us."

She started to recite the strange words again.

" _Protector of time, mother Earth, allow me to make amends and fix the circle. Let me travel to bring life and guide me to the love waiting on the other side_." And she was gone.

The queen collapsed helplessly to the ground, overwhelmed by yet another pain. But Pluto calmed her and the others by helping them see this was the completion of the circle, the true healing of Times.

"Small Lady will be fine. What she used was a time key, the only one left. I gave it to her as a birthday present when she was born. Seiya must have given her his immortality as a way to fill the key with power and he told her the secret words. He learnt of them when he touchet the Mirror of Fate. She'll come back with Endymion, our King. He's in the past now, as Mamoru, but he waits to be reborn. He was made for it. He will come home to you here and the Galaxy will be reborn. My queen, love saved us again."

"And Usagi…without Mamoru? And the past? Seiya?"

"Usagi knows in her heart it's for the best. And she has time to heal, because a heart filled with love does heal. Seiya will be there. They can start again. And this time they can make their own decisions."

"Then…I await my love, my King and my daughter and beg happiness for my past love. In the name of the Moon, I heal you."

The light poured inside the palace, then out and further into the galaxy. This was Serenity's true power, not residing in a crystal, but inside her. The one that helped Sailor Moon fight, the same one that made it all well in the end. Serenity healed time and the galaxy with the invincible power of love and hope.

The past will now play along new lines, decided by new loves and mistakes.

"My mother intended to give you this chance Usagi, now I give you one myself. Love him as I love him, as my savior and the savior of my future. Arigatou…Seiya."

Her last words to the past went to him, the one that followed her into the future, always there to protect her, even if it hurt him. He'll have a chance now, one taken from him by Chaos, to live his choice and love. And with Serenity's mind on the past, The Gates of Time opened for the last time, bringing her future back to her.

"Endymion!"

Time started to heal and the present unfolded for Usagi and her destined star. And the Queen saw it, as the last flashback she will have. 

_"But now…will you stay with me Tsukino Usagi?"_

_"I really am kind of cold…and it's warm here…"_

_Wrapping the blanket even tighter, Seiya is satisfied with her answer. The room where he stood ill and tried to keep her is now the room where she feels warm._

_And nothing else matters when Seiya reaches his hand to cover hers and she stays there, with her little nose buried deep in the shirt he gave her. Sometimes, when you fall, you fly._


	26. Wake up to simplicity

The sun made took it upon itself to shine more brightly today. It made his eyes the bluest kind of blue you could imagine. His smile still lingered, small goose bumps forming where she breathed. His life was good. He can barely remember the "before" years. Sometimes she would remember, in a dream, but he had this magic like soothing effect on her, even from day one.

Her troubled breath told him today he needed to do his magic again. Surely enough, she woke up with scream.

"Tell me I didn't sleep here."

"Ummm…you didn't sleep here."

"Baka. Tell me the truth. My parents are going to kill me. But not before you. The horror. to sleep in a boy's bed…"

"It's hardly a big deal…" Seiya started to say, amused already and relieved she had another kind of a dream. But she kept going, clearly 7 o'clock still not her favorite hour. He put his arms around her and started nibbling on her shoulder, with her parading on about him being a hentai and a liar.

"I'm only saying it's not a big deal to wake up next to your boyfriend. The one your parents meat and gave the "sleeping together speech" some five years ago."

She went silent as he made no big deal about her blacking out again and kept planting butterfly kisses on her back.

"I did it again…Woke up believing we're in the past," she realized.

"It was fun this time. I don't mind if you believe sleeping with me is a …forbidden thing to do."

Her pink face got his attention. Sometimes he would stay like that, with his big blue eyes watching her until her face turned that lovely shade of pink he always thought it should have his name. The shade of Seiya.

"I love you Odango."

"And I just looove the way you insist on calling me that even if I'm 26 and _I have no_ odangos."

"It's a registered trade mark. And it's mine. Just like you."

Her Seiya shade got even deeper. He buried his nose in her hair and pleaded with his melodic voice.

"Tell me…"

"What? And make your ego twice as big?"

His tone took a gravel deep purr.

"You know I never beg…but tell me."

"Oh, I don't know about that, I heard some stories…"

He jumped from her neck, ruffling her hair in the motion. She started to laugh as she knew what was coming.

"Haruka lies. I never ever…"

She stopped him by taking his face into her palms and looking straight into his eyes.

"You can be fooled as easily as I can sometimes."

The anger melted into their connection, with a feeling of sweet surrender and passion taking its place.

"I love you…Seiya."

He lowered his head into her lap and stood there, enjoying the gentle caress.

"Never as much as I do," he whispered and let himself be pushed away by an angry Usagi.

"You baka! You just had to ruin the moment."

"No. I was just stating the obvious. Because I love you so much that I give up this moment so you can go and see your friends. I think they are cursing us already, cause you're late. The plane landed at 7."

She recoiled fast and looked at the clock. She had to meet the girls at the airport. Michiru and Haruka were coming back from England today and they all planned to wait for them. A good moment to catch up, since it's been 2 months since their last get together.

"They will kill me."

"Or me. I guess it's not a surprise coming from you, but they had this crazy idea that I'm gonna fix your sleeping behavior."

"I get the shower first."

"We can share. All in the economy of time of course."

"Of course. But… no," she laughed and headed for the bathroom.

"I'll drive you there. Then I'm headed for the studio. I'll be early, but the faces of Taiky and Yaten will be priceless to look at."

"Thank you."

"Anytime my odango head."

The water running drowned his words but not his feelings of utter happiness. Another day worth waking up for. His head already put together the lyrics for his new song, as Usagi sang in the bathroom, off key, the song he wrote for her two months ago.


End file.
